Xi’an Warriors Guard Spirit’s Journey From Desk To Dive Bar

the countless lives that were spent making thousands of guards for my afterlife were not spent in vainMy coworker and her daughter just returned from a three-week vacation in China. Before she left, she asked repeatedly “What do you want from China?”

Being a big xi’ian terra cotta fan as of late, I’d had a running joke for some time that I have been building my own army out of clay, rolling torsos, arms, legs in my sleep at night, firing them in the oven at dawn and gradually building a menacing army of 8,000 inch-tall warriors which would then be buried in my miniscule backyard plot to protect the perimeter. So naturally I mumbled something about a xi’an warrior coffee mug…or maybe a “my coworker visited the excavation of the incredible xi’an terra cotta warriors and all i got was this lousy t-shirt”…mayhap a xi’an fridge magnet would be in order…

Long and short of it: I walked in to my office this morning and was levelled by this sight. They now guard my workspace against unwanted meeting schedulers, parking lot carwash barkers and blog post interruptors.