Signs You Will Be Flagged as a Rogue Cop

This month the scandal-ridden LAPD began using a $35 million computerized tracking system to identify problem cops. What are the top signs you will be flagged?

  • You neglect to read Miranda Rights to the man who’s skull you’re bashing in
  • Your arrest to full cavity search ratio is greater than one
  • When accepting bribes you failed to say “thank you” on numerous occasions
  • You’re always in the interrogation room but you’ve never played the good cop
  • Your partner, Roger Murtaugh, is days away from retirement and doesn’t want to work with you
  • When framing celebrities, you’ve gotten progressively sloppier with your evidence planting
  • You insist “To Protect and To Serve” is the slogan for the annual bodyguard tennis tournament
  • Your nickname is Yosemite Sam but you don’t have any facial hair
  • You suck at Big Buck Hunter