Each time I venture over to Nandarang two thoughts enter my head bam! bam! like one-two punches from Eu Chan Jung.
Thought #1: Holy bittersweet fancy Christ-on-a- Kimchi-Smoothie hassles, why the hell is this parking lot so packed!? This coffee shop has valet!?
As soon as I’ve disposed of the car and entered the establishment, Thought #2 takes over: Holy crap crackers! I wish I smoked. This order will be to go. »continue reading Profile: Nandarang
Buried in Steve Henson’s Dodgers story a couple of days ago was the throwaway speculation that Norihiro Nakamura could be called back up when rosters can expand to 40 men next week. Nakamura, the former Japanese league superstar and losanjealous favorite, was sent down after only a month on a team that appeared destined for a great season with a torrid 12-2 start. Since then, the Dodgers have gone on to a mediocre season and now it’s time to see what these rooks really got.
We speculated back then that the Curse of Nakamura would infect the Dodgers’ season. And so it has come to pass. And of course, the only way to reverse the curse it is to bring him back and have him hit a home run.
While Oscar Robles has shown much potential, especially at the plate, they can leave him at 3rd base because Nakamura can also play first base. Nakamura is at least as good defensively at first as below-average fielder Jason Phillips (catcher), who has been platooning at first and drawing glares from Jeff Kent for missing coverages on occasion. Hee Sop Choi and Olmedo Saenz can get situational starts and pinch ABs.
Join losanjealous in a collective wish to bring Nakamura back to Los Angeles. How can you not want a guy who has “SAMURAI” carved on his bat on your team?
Though she will not admit to it, Sharon (not her real name) is a “D-girl†over at Sony in Culver City. She hates this shorthand for “development girlâ€â€”these days, though, the “girl” part gets to her more so since she turned 29 yesterday—that has long been used to describe a certain lower-to-lower-middle tier of worker bee in the development stage of the movie biz, an indecisive cog in the extraordinary machine of the pre-greenlight process, who no matter how much effort they display, no matter how smart they look in Prada, no matter how much they put out, how many scripts they find that do $30-45 mil in 3-days, will not advance careerwise beyond an unspoken threshold of power, into the realm of the VP’s and P’s. »continue reading D-Girl at Costco in Culver City
Name: Eli Meirav
Alias: Eli Mizra
Height: 5′ 9″
Weight: 150 pounds
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Wanted For: Felony Hit and Run
If you enjoyed the Where’s Waldo series as a child, here’s your change to dust off your spatial recognition skills and apply them to find the Fugitive of the Week.
Somewhere in this city Eli Meirav is hiding out. You’ll think you found him a bunch of times but it’ll just be another guy wearing the same hat or a barber shop pole. After combing through the LA cityscape inch by inch you’ll ask yourself why this is so damn difficult. But just before you get violently angry a 10-year old will point him out after looking for about 10 seconds.
THE PITCH
Due to a drought of new movie ideas, your studio is asking you to pitch the final installment of the Rocky series, Rocky VI. But instead of the traditional action genre, the head of your studio insists it be produced as a horror film to attract a younger audience.
What’s the pitch? Remember that Rocky is older and, as established in Rocky V, he’s broke and is beginning to show signs of brain damage.
Email your entry to contest@losanjealous.com
THE PURSE
Our favorite answer will win two tickets to see Rocky Horror Live at the Hollywood Bowl on Monday, September 5. Special guests Louis XIV.
FINAL BELL
Thursday, September 1 at 5pm. Now shake hands and come out fighting.
And don’t forget to enter to win tickets for Brian Wilson at the Hollywood Bowl.
Visit our concert calendar for a complete list of shows, links to buy tickets and our picks.
***Recommended Show of the Week***
Arthurfest @ Barnsdall Art Park
The headliners for Labor Day Weekend’s two-day Arthurfest are not unlike the two Arthur movies. The original was solid and had that “caught between the moon and New York City” song that everyone loved. This sentiment is embodied in Sunday’s main attraction, Sonic Youth. The sequel Arthur 2: On the Rocks was a waste of time as is Monday’s headline act, Yoko Ono.
MONDAY
Inara George @ Echo (free)
Starlite Desperation @ Spaceland (free)
Satisfaction @ Silverlake Lounge (free)
»continue reading LA Concert Calendar: August 29 - September 5
 This was my first time back to the junction in a few years. Ever since Sonic Youth played in 2002 I’ve either been out of town or hiding in fear, recalling back-to-back years of parking woes. This year I’m pleased to report we had no problems finding a great parking spot. I’m not telling you where it is, so don’t ask.
Although very skeptical about the “requested” $10 donation vs. prior cover charges (i.e. one canned good or nothing whatsoever so long as you run fast and be sure to have a good time), we grudgingly ponied up the cash, made it inside the gates by 5:45 and were soon ducking Babylon, feeling no way and steady jammin to da braata outside Aurelito and Shakespeare’s mobile sound system. Vendors. Plenty of vendors! Everyone from killradio to amoeba records. One of my favorite vendor booths was situated near Edgecliffe: the annual oki-dog tent. I had absolutely no idea that oki-dogs were available in ranges from 4″ up to 31″…picture a folded, juiced, pastrami-stuffed tortilla literally longer than my arm. It made my day.* Did not hear the Walkmen. Where were the Walkmen? Lead singer Hamilton Leithauser’s explanation later that night at Spaceland: “We were supposed to play the festival today, and we blew it. We fucking blew it.” Before leaving we caught part of Richard Street’s show near our exit. The “three-time Grammy award winner and former lead singer of the Temptations” and his crew were clearly having a ball on stage, seamlessy pairing the red wine goodness of finely-aged soul with the strong cheese ridiculousness of hokey crowd interactions. The music was tired, but the stage show kept people giggling. In my book Aurelito and Shakespeare continue to do no wrong. It’s no exaggeration to say I’d eagerly pay upwards of $11 just to stand by their truck and dance all night. SJ promoters take note: I&I Productions should be pushed larger on the bill! These guys are what a street festival should be all about, not giant stages with has-been Motown artists, revival acts and quasi-mainstream pop washups. Scattered Photos:
Following the street festival I got to check out the Walkmen (as mentioned, didn’t see them during the day) at their sold-out Spaceland gig. Great, great show incorporating new songs and plenty of textbook scream-sing-along standards. I have two incredibly blurry photos from this show. This is what happens when Audree gets sick from travelling and isn’t available to take her signature close-up concert shots… The Blurred Walkmen: *this paragraph is total bullshit. |
 Aurelito adds a speaker to the stack outside the 1969 Dodge raggamobile
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This cheerful gentleman was spotted Friday evening at LACMA’s free jazz patio scene, chatting up the ladies near the bar.
I was there thanks to the incessant prodding of a friend who’d been insisting I just HAD to see Tim Hawkinson’s exhibit, which closes August 28 (Sunday).
Looking at art.blogging.la , it appears 5000 has done a much better write-up of the exhibit than I could hope to do, so go read that. Cliffnotes edition: Regardless of Sunset Junction, you will be doing yourself a grave disservice if you do not allot at least one-to-two hours of your life to go see this exhibit before Monday. I don’t generally endorse exhibits but I’m going to say it on record here, now, go see this one. You should easily be able to do this with more than ample time for roasted corn and parking nightmares in Silver Lake.
Bonus Photos
Friday Night Lights: HMS Bounty
Strange Bedfellows Inside
I was just forwarded this link from yesterday’s LAT. Slightly unsettling to say the least.
In Boyle Heights, inspectors arrived at Joe Escobedo’s Rosemead Radiator Shop on Wabash Avenue a few weeks ago to tell him to remove the spray-painted mural he had commissioned for the west-facing brick wall of his business.
A tagger who called himself Keo had approached him about five years ago saying, ” ‘You got a nice wall there. Want a mural?’ ” Escobedo recalled.
“I told him, ‘Do something nice, something I’m going to like,’ ” Escobedo said Wednesday, his face and work clothes a little oil-stained. “You’ve got to get close to figure it out, but it does have something to do with radiators.”
The mural shows the name of the shop in bold graffiti-like letters next to a pair of cartoonish radiators. Keo received $300 for the job and periodically returns to touch up the mural when taggers or gang members vandalize it, Escobedo said.
But the city recently issued an order saying Escobedo must whitewash the wall and that a nonprofit art group would come to paint a new mural for him.
Yikes. The example above clearly seems to indicate the wrong approach.
Note to gestapo: Stay away from the corner of melrose and fairfax. I have it on good record this wall is 100% endorsed by Mayor V.
You know what really grinds my gears? These goddamn Bluetooth headsets you’re seeing everywhere around town. That gray and blue wedge is tacked on ears everywhere. I mean, what’s the deal? Do you keep them in your ear, full time, walking around like you’re on the damned Enterprise? The light indicates that it is in use but you rarely see it glowing on these guys that sport them. Are these predominantly an L.A. thing or are they everywhere? I’m at the Farmer’s Market getting some french toast the other day and like every guy has one. Well, not every, but at least 9 out of 10 guys. I notice these are bigger with the guys versus the ladies. Is this simple compensation or a techie thing that slants to the XY?
I saw this dude the other day on Sunset and he had the Bluetooth in one ear and his iPod cable dangling from the other, I kid you not. Can we get this guy a couple more head orifices so he can make more branded lifestyle statements?
I have a great idea for Bluetooth placement in a feature film to put them over the top. In the 3rd act climax of a hijacking thriller, when the undefinably-ethnic terrorist is finally wrapped up by our hero (a crusty but benign retired cop–think Harrison Ford/Nick Notle) and they grapple on the floor in first class, our hero reaches out and yanks the Bluetooth headset from the terrorist’s ear and jabs it in his eye all in one motion. We get a good shot of the logo of the headset on the closeup of it in his eye. Our hero says, “You’ve been disconnected.” Or some other great line. We can work on this–maybe you have some ideas. But the message will be as clear as the reception on your phone: Bluetooth defeats terrorism. Think about it, Bluetooth. I’m available for copywriting.
Having seen a questionably amazing documentary about the band Friends Forever a few years ago, I had great intentions of watching them play last night and asking them a few rapid-fire questions. It would likely have gone down something like this:
ME: Assume Nate can paint a van in three hours, and Josh can paint a van in two hours. How long would it take to paint the van if Nate and Josh worked together?
FF: Using x as a variable for time it is easily seen that 1/x is equivalent to 1/3 plus 1/2, or 2+3/6. Standard algebraic cross-multiplication yields the number 6/5. As such it would take 1 and 1/5 hours, or precisely 72 minutes if we were to both paint the van.
In reality the evening went something like this:
The Friends Forever VW Van was in the courtyard behind the venue, covered in t-shirts. The show had ended but a crowd remained. Girls in bathing suits hawked shirts.
The legend grows. Will I ever witness the live show!? I’m at work, but my next chance will be today, somewhere between 1 and 5pm. They’re apparently playing near the LA Zoo at “the old LA Zoo Ruins”…a free show with a few other bands.
So take note, unemployed Angelenos: you have a few hours to get your act together and get to the old LA Zoo ruins in Griffith Park to witness a punk band lay down the rules of rock from inside their van. Not to be missed. They may not be back in town for another six weeks…six months…or six years.
UPDATE
I did in fact make it to the old zoo ruins by 4pm. FF were there, but I did not see them play. I did however see a band from San Francisco called ‘Animal Birth Control’ perform in and above one of the abandonded bear caves. They were followed by a few people who basically just made really loud feedback noises with footpedals. Good times in the park.
Like many Angelenos who hate their jobs and/or their lives, and who also have been banned from The Learning Annex for reasons better left unmentioned here, I’m thinking of taking a UCLA Extension class or two to help me break into The Biz (show business). Everyone knows that many of the biggest names in show business have begun their careers with UCLA Extension courses. I have perused the Fall schedule and pulled out the most promising courses. I have emboldened the most appealing parts of description. I also investigated the backgrounds of the instructors. I am hoping that you, the losanjealous reader, can help me decide which courses to take.
THE SETUP
You have been tasked with taking Brian Wilson out to dinner before his show at the Hollywood Bowl. Where do you take the pop legend, and why? You’ve been told he’s fond of foie gras, chili, breakfast anytime and vermicelli-laced korean blood sausages. Beyond that, you have been given no real direction as to where - or what - he should eat before the big show.
While planning the evening you should of course keep in mind that any ‘gateway’ scenarios for maestro Wilson are best avoided, lest he miss the big show. I think we understand each other.
Email your entry to contest@losanjealous.com
THE REWARD
Our most creative answer will win TWO VERY REAL, VERY DECENT TICKETS to see Brian Wilson perform his 30-year-old-and-yet-newly-completed masterpiece “SMiLE” at the Hollywood Bowl on Sunday, September 4. Special guests The Polyphonic Spree.
THE DEADLINE
is Wednesday, August 31 so hop to it.
Name: Crystal Dawn Vigil
Alias: Goofy
Height: 5′5″
Weight: 145 pounds
Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Wanted For: Murder
Weapon: Physical Presence
How does one defeat Crystal Dawn Vigil? Her mere physical presence is enough to kill someone.
This isn’t your simple turn-to-stone-when-you-look-directly-at-Medusa deal. The Perseus shield reflection trick doesn’t work here. This is more like when Mario powers up with a Starman giving him the ability to destroy enemies by just touching them. Only Vigil can do this from close to medium range and instead of ten seconds Vigil’s invincibility is permanent.
Long-range munitions might be the way to go here. Although it’s unclear whether Crystal Dawn loses her powers post mortem.
Tuesday’s lunch, freeform recap
Thirty minutes into today’s lunch at The Original Pantry and things are looking a-ok. Portions gargantuan, food unspectacular, prices spectacular, portions gargantuan.
You pay up, drop a tip and leave…and then. There it comes. That feeling. Once you hit the outside air you recognize your own scent and that…aura. The aura of gradeschool and junior high cafeterias. It envelopes you and does not let go for 45 shaky minutes…you’re fully immersed in industrial cooking…mass food…quick turnover…wafty scents of vomit, industrial cleaning supplies, stainless steel, pure gradeschool funk…you know this feeling and you are going. to.
VOMIT
but you do not. And soon enough the memory of the 45 minutes fades,
fades,
fades
as it always does
and in due time you’ll be back at that counter
belly up
waiting for portions gargantuan
food unspectacular
prices spectacular
portions gargantuan.
Original Pantry
877 South Figueroa St.
213.972.9279
The Original Pantry would like to inform you that it uses 20 head of beef cattle per day to supply its daily serving of steaks and beef products, totalling more than 7,200 cows annually …3,000 hogs …2,300 lambs …10.5 tons of coffee …and 130 tons of cabbage for the cole slaw, which also requires 2,870 gallons of salad oil and 3,200 gallons of mayonnaise. Eat up!
But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
-Matthew 5:39-40
Then proceed to take him down with a roundhouse kick delivered to the back of his head.
-Sam Silva 5:41
Enrollment is now open for Kung Fu at Calvary Chapel in Chino Valley. Classes, guided by Master Sam Silva, meet Tuesdays and Thursdays in the Banquet Hall and close with a Bible devotion and prayer.
If guns are more your thing Calvary Chapel is also hosting Revolution, a ministry for youth ages 13-17 who are influenced by Hip Hop Culture. This week learn how to convert an ordinary chalice into a jewel-encrusted pimp cup.
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