Output from the Headline-O-Matic 2000

Output from the Losanjealous Headline-O-Matic 2000

• LA Times tries to “live blog” the Emmys. They just don’t get it. And neither do readers—look at those blazing Comments numbers.
• For better or worse (answer: worse) the Emmys are an L.A. event. A pre-Emmys disaster always makes for good ratings, as the numbers on the Katrina Emmys were the best since 9/11 Emmys. And who are these critics that annually bleat the same damn exact gripe about these damn shows not being “entertaining,” or, even more ridiculously, not “edgy.” Shut the fuck up already, we’re just here to check out Eva Longoria and that’s it.
• Love this press release. Way to use Hurricane Katrina as an attention getter for a new magazine rollout event. (How can a “free” event have “proceeds”?) This is for a home & body event promoting another one of these Martha Stewart/Real Simple rag knockoffs that promote stress-free, breezy, color-coordinated better living through common sense and conspicuous consumption. Mainly the latter. But they’re giving away samples and offering free classes and even manicures for the ladies, so maybe load up on freebies you’re in Venice.
• But a good benefit can bring back some heat to some fading C-listers. Or so Jean Smart and Willie Garston hope. Who? The W’s a nice spot though.
• This isn’t exactly new news–that Downtown has broken ground on the biggest goddamned shopping mall ever–but for some reason, the People’s Daily Online Chinese (and government sanctioned) website ran this as big news over there. I think you know where we’re going with this.
• Turns out there might be some funny business with non-disclosure of a pre-existing condition with the Dodger signing of J.D. “Just Disabled” Drew. Who’s his agent again? Oh, yeah—Scott Boras. Makes perfect sense.
• So long, Vince Vaughn. We’ll still have our DVD of your Psycho remake to remind us what happens when a talented guy can’t say no.
• Hilby gives Neil Young’s new one four stars. No kidding. Haven’t heard it yet myself. You?