I can’t help but feel somebody at Mid-West Wholesale Lighting is pulling the collective leg of Thai Town here. Is this an official management credo or the work of a disgruntled employee? Is business truly great? Are people in fact terrific, or are they simply “no good” as Nick Cave claims? Is life truly wonderful? This is an old saying typically quipped by regional salespeople and real estate agents. You can’t sell lighting with a frowny face, so why not print out the credo and affix it with tape to your Hollywood Boulevard frontage? Share your joie de vivre with the locals!

While the credo is by no means new or groundbreaking, the host of philosophical conondrums the sign conjures up (along with its xeroxed treatment and location) naturally elevated it to instant photo-of-week status. This is actually one of two window signs outside the establishment. The second sign has fallen down (photo) and none of the great-businessed, wonderful-lifed, terrific people inside appear to give enough of a crap to re-affix it to the middle of the window with great, terrific, wonderful Scotch Tape.

There’s something beautiful and poignant about that fallen sign, though. It’s tough to put a finger on it. Gazing at it there on the ground, propped up by the window barricades, I couldn’t help but agree that life truly is wonderful.

Bonus Photos
Mid-West Lighting Signage, 9-8-2005
Harvard House is directly across the street from Mid-West Lighting. Their signs are notably different.

I remember first seeing The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Nuart Theatre as a 12-year-old with a group of friends and a horrified parental chaperone. We were in the seventh grade, and it was the first and last time I saw several girls from my middle school wearing fishnets and garters. At the time, I was terrified by the spectacle, and the sole indelible image from the evening that I shudder to recall involved an on-stage simulated sex act for “virgins” to the Rocky Horror experience. Also, I kinda remember getting hit in the head with a flying tortilla.

Time certainly had dulled the trauma/drama of that fateful evening, until Monday night’s 30th anniversary Rocky Horror extravaganza at the Hollywood Bowl reopened old wounds thought to be expertly cauterized by 10 years of non-audience participation movie going.

I took my girlfriend to the show, and as a virgin to the Rocky Horror experience, I don’t think she knew what she was getting into until we entered the Bowl’s parking lot. There, she pointed out a diminutive man wearing only his undergarments, and asked me why other patrons clutched bags of rice and tortillas. Suddenly our Brie and Chablis picnic seemed out of place. »continue reading Rocky Horrified

Somewhere down the 10 freeway they stand waiting. When you spot them, a scant 80 minutes outside town, you know your addictions will soon be sated. They are…the world’s biggest dinosaurs.

Returning home from the Labor Day holiday I did something I hadn’t done in five years: I stopped in the desert to check out the Dinosaurs of Cabazon. For those of you who haven’t been, Cabazon is basically an oasis of addictions in the fertile crescent where the Mojave and Sonoran deserts meet. One minute you have nothing but sand and cacti. The next minute you have rash-like casino growth, acres of outlet malls and top-rated golf courses as far as the eye can see. These afflictions begin in Cabazon and worsen throughout the Indio valley as you travel eastward. You there, I-10 driver: You, gamble-holic: You, Palm Springs weekend golfer…You there, outlet mall addict: You know the Dinosaurs all too well, don’t you? Oh yes, my friend. You know well the Dinosaurs, and you loathe them with the seething rage of third-eye-blindness. A deep-seated hatred that you cannot form words for. When the time comes for you to return to Los Angeles, as it always does, they’re there. They’re always there and they seem to be mocking you, grinning slyly as if saying ‘You’ll be back. As soon as possible. And I’ll be waiting.’

For the rest of you, I offer photos.

»continue reading Cabazon Dinos Loved By Locals; Loathed By Gamblers

Across the nation people are supporting hundreds of organizations that are providing relief to Katrina victims. Houston opened the Astrodome, New York will hold an all-star benefit concert, the feds will issue debit cards and now the San Fernando Valley comes to the rescue–with a Bikini Brawl.

Bikini Brawl takes place Saturday evening, September 10 at Shenanigans Gentlemen’s Club in Van Nuys. Proceeds will go to the American Red Cross to help those affected by Hurricane Katrina earlier this week.

By watching hot naked chicks wrestle, attendees will help the Red Cross provide shelter, food, counseling and other assistance to those affected by Katrina. Area men will need to explain to wives and girlfriends that by not fully supporting this effort they will be taking crucial aid away from thousands of devastated hurricane victims.

Cover charge is $15 or $10 if you bring the club’s ad from the L.A. Weekly.

Bikini Brawl Katrina Relief Charity Event
Saturday, September 10 @ 5 p.m.
Shenanigans Gentleman’s Club
15932 Stagg St
Van Nuys, CA 91406

Check out this cheeky English rock band called Art Brut headed for Spaceland on Nov. 17. Good write up on them here. You have my permission to download the album, Bang Bang Rock & Roll, but you must promise to buy it when it gets a domestic release. The singer-talker Eddie Argos is the mutant spawn of Mark E. Smith and Jonathan Richman. The lead single is called “Art Brut Formed A Band,” so you get their angle right away. The music is mainly an energetic wiry postpunk rock. They do go acoustic on “Moving to L.A.”, probably the track with the best shot to breakthrough here–think KCRW–and, as that goes, one of the less interesting cuts on the album. Watch a Real Player video here. Tix on sale now.

Bonus: MP3 of “Art Brut Formed a Band”

First of all, it’s great to be writing for Losanjealous again. Who knew a sprained ankle would take 8 months to heal? Certainly not my chiropractor. Anyway, for all my well-wishers I offer a hearty “Whassup”

Where was I. Oh yeah. I was rating the 50 best Starbucks stores in LA. There’s been a lot of sturm and drang about my prejudices for Westside Starbucks. Listen folks, I’m putting myself out there. And I’m not about to back down now. You got a better list, show me. Maraca-roll please. . .

Number 20: The Starbucks kiosk in the Ralph’s on Olympic just past Century City.

You want controversy. Here’s your controversy. You may say, “There you go again, DeMarco. Another Westside Starbucks. And it’s not even a real Starbucks. It’s a kiosk.” Listen, before you roll out the car battery and alligator clips let me say one thing: Good coffee is good coffee. And whatever they’re doing at this booth in this Ralph’s with these Iced Americanos, they should keep doing it. Because it works.

The layout isn’t bad either. (“DeMarco are you crazy, it’s a booth.” Hey I expect that from my readers, but from my editor???) You get your coffee, wander around the foyer area, check out the produce, rent a carpet steamer. It’s good. Get in. Get out.

And the Americanos. . .cool, jazzy, flirtatious. And filled two fingers short of the brim so you can add at least ten bags of Splenda. Who me? No, wouldn’t be caught dead with the stuff. . .

There you have it folks. ‘Nuff said.

Next week: Bill DeMarco goes east of the 405–and lives to have a Frappucino.

»continue reading Brian Wilson, Hollywood Bowl, 9/4/05

Visit our concert calendar for a complete list of shows, links to buy tickets and our picks.

***Recommended Show of the Week***
Black Smiths @ Silverlake Lounge
Smiths cover band? Pass. Black Sabbath tribute? Yawn. The songs of the Smiths set to the music of Sabbath? YESSS!!! Check out frontman Ozzisey Morrisbourne and guitarist Johnny Iomarr this Wednesday at Silverlake Lounge.

TUESDAY
Hella @ Knitting Factory

WEDNESDAY
Retribution Gospel Choir @ Spaceland
Black Smiths @ Silverlake Lounge
Edi Fitzroy @ Echo

THURSDAY
Ted Leo & the Pharmacists @ El Rey
Section Quartet @ Echo
Posies @ Knitting Factory
Maximo Park @ Troubdadour
Marillion @ Tower Sunset (free-ish)
Modey Lemon @ Spaceland

FRIDAY
George Clinton, Red Hot Chili Peppers @ Greek
Tralala @ Amoeba (free)
M. Ward, Dios @ John Anson Ford
Living Colour @ Knitting Factory
Maximo Park @ Troubadour
Camper Van Beethoven @ Pappy and Harriet’s (Pioneertown)

SATURDAY
Cracker @ Pappy and Harriet’s (Pioneertown)
Talib Kweli, Common @ Wiltern

SUNDAY
Rebirth @ Amoeba (free)
Video Games Live @ Verizon

Just another reason I love the Ktown: After eating a ridiculously delicious $1 honey-juiced hotok (pancake) at Koo’s Grill, a sort of trailer-styled shack situated directly outside the door of California Market (450 S. Western), I walk inside and eventually discover Hite Beer is available in pitcher form…somewhat akin to a two-liter of boozy Coke. Happy Friday.

Influencing detuned guitar bands from My Bloody Valentine to Pavement for upwards of 20 years, Sonic Youth, the group, of late is only the pulpit from which the four Sonics have launched their various solo endeavours. Steve still runs Smells Like Records and Kim has acted and does live film score. Apparently Lee Ranaldo is huge in Japan. As a poet. Thurston, though, has emerged as an elderstatesman of the NYCartpunkrock scene, probably up there with David Byrne in terms of credibility. He has only been too happy to spread his gospel in a variety of forums and media. When you need liner notes to anything from a Swell Maps anthology to the Nirvana boxset, Thurston’s the go-to-guy. A crazy noiserock DJ set? Get me Thurston on the horn, STAT. So it’s only natural his expert testimony on the underground should extend to books. He has put together Mix Tape: The Art of the Cassette Culture, a tasty little flipbook on the subject of tape making. You can read it at Urban Outfitters. He’ll be talking it up at Book Soup on Sunset this Saturday. Later that night, he’s DJing at MOCA as part of their Saturday night NightVision series. Finally, the the Sonic Youth Voltron recombines to headline Sunday night of the overpriced, uneven Arthurfest in Little Armenia. They go on at 9, so you should be able to sneak into the park under cover of dusk by then. If not, you’ll be able hear them loud and clear from the 101.

Sure sure, this week’s photo is relatively boring. Nonetheless it was chosen to emphasize one thing: Nobody’s Downtown After Dark. I mean come on. How many times have you been on Broadway in the heat of a Saturday thinking ‘Christ Almighty, this is the seventh level of Hell’ …or maybe ‘Sweet Christ Fantastic, this is better than the Ringling Brothers’ ? Whatever your reaction (Christ-based or not), you’re more than likely referring to the maddening crowds of people. People everywhere. More people on that street than the number of questionable food items in the steam trays at Clifton’s. People everywhere! Broadway, hear ye roar!

This photo was taken on Broadway at 8:30 pm Thursday night, September 1. 8:30. Prime dinner hour, right? Look at that street. I could walk outside my fourplex right now and encounter more people.

Enough about that. I was on Broadway Thursday eve thanks to MOCA’s Free Thursday policy which allowed me to finally view the Basquiat exhibit. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t mind telling you that I plan to return for one of the DJ events later this month. Following the exhibit, I made the short-yet-sketchy walk to Cole’s for a pint. It was apparently Free Thursday at Cole’s too: the bartender pulled me the wrong beer and promptly comped it. No complaints here.

Bonus People-Free Photos:
Heine on the Playa, 8/30/05
Dansungsa, Exterior, 8/31/05 (Oh! For the jocund din inside wafting out those vents…)
Soot Bull Jeep, 7/28/05
Somebody shows up and ruins my people-free photo, 9/1/05