The Great Shittiest Intersections of LA Debate™: Losanjealous Edition
Disclaimer: This is not a list of the busiest intersections, merely the shittiest. By no means a comprehensive list, it is nevertheless a starting point.
Look at them. There they sit. They serve us patiently albeit dangerously. Essentially they serve us while making no sense all day, every day. Every time you think you’ve got the grid nailed, one of them pops up out of nowhere and fucks you right the hell up, but proper. Please vote on your shittiest. Or add your own. Go on, let it out.
My submissions:
The Beverly/Temple/Virgil/Silverlake mindfuck
I caused $5k damage to my car here five years ago, to say nothing of the other guy’s car. Admittedly, it was completely my fault. Nonetheless it further validates my argument of the shittiness of this five-way intersection which, incidentally, is shaped like an inverse pentagram pointing to the precise location where I was involved in an accident. Talk about bad feng shui, this intersection’s breathing enough of it to fuck Beverly up for another half-mile east.
The Olympic/Fairfax/San Vicente clusterfuck
Why you would be on Fairfax in the first place is beyond me. It’s not like your car will be moving. Fuck this intersection and the Fairfax traffic it generates.
La Brea and San Vicente
Ray’s Statue Shack R.I.P. Nothing further need be said.
Sixth and Burlington, turning left onto Sixth from Burlington
(MacArthur Park) Are you fucking kidding me. The people coming from the north were about a half a block to my right but using the same traffic light, meaning I was stranded in the middle of the fucking intersection, waiting for cars HALF A BLOCK AWAY to weave past me while attempting to negotiate a left turn. Truly boggling. I did have time to buy frutas and a fake Social Security card while my car sat in the intersection, so bonus for that.
Glendale at Fletcher (aka Rowena becomes Glendale while you weren’t paying attention):
While living a block away on Locksley for the better part of a year, I learned its foolish intricacies quickly. I learned said intricacies between the weekly crashes I heard.
La Cienega at 18th
Not sure if it’s the Mcdonald’s /Coffee Bean hybrid or the Circuit City stripmall behind it. Not sure I care, either. I don’t know who’s to blame for all this fucking traffic but it can’t entirely be the 10’s fault, now, can it?
28th and Ocean Park, Santa Monica
Holy fucking shit. I loved working here because the weather was lovely and I could walk to lunch every day. Holy fucking further shit. I hated leaving this area at the end of the workday. Choice A: Fight people cramming down Ocean Park to the east, all trying to eventually maneuver a sneaky onto National via Bundy. Choice B: Fight the fools cramming Ocean Park to the west, all trying to pull a sneaky over to Rose, Palms and Venice via 23rd and Walgrove. Attention All Walgrovers: It’s a losing battle. Admit it. Textbook Westside SUV nightmare zone.
Speaking of National, though…
National as you cross the 10 going east
What a farcical fuckup that can only be learned with repeat performance. You wanted to go straight on National and cross over the 10? Nice try; you are now heading towards PCH on the 10. Yes; it is both the opposite direction from whence you came, and a freeway with limited exits at rush hour.
San Vicente and La Cienega at the Beverly Center
Holy fucking shit. How big is this intersection? It’s larger than a football field. Two football fields. The fucking intersection is larger than the Beverly Center, I said it. Let’s face it, San Vicente cuts through the perfect grid and fucks up everything in its wake from Venice Blvd to Brentwood. How many times did you think you had the jump on everybody else, zooming crosstown only to see San Fucking Vicente up ahead, waiting to completely fuck you up and force you to turn right, regardless of direction? Don’t answer because San Vicente bites it eternally and you will not convince me otherwise. It’s the equivalent of the Valley’s Lankershim. Speaking of…
Lankershim/Vineland/Camarillo, NoHo
Are you joking me? This is the valley version of San Vin/La Cienega, without the shadow of the Beverly Center. Maybe it’s better as a result. Still, this intersection is ridiculously large. Even when all signs point to go, it’s ominous. Especially when all signs point to go. I don’t get out here often enough but intersections like this one and Lanker/Tujunga/Burbank easily merit a place on this list.
9th and Figueroa
Downtown one-ways can be infuriating enough. Let’s lump them all here. Welcome to the Original Pantry. We never close. Arrive via 8th place or don’t arrive at all. Good luck with the parking lot! (aside: Langer’s parking lot is considerably worse, tactically, but that’s a post for another day)
Any Trader Joe’s parking lot before 9pm, including Torrance and Thousand Oaks
One exception: Canoga Park TJ is the odd duck, situated in a brand-new strip mall with acres of parking to spare. ‘Sup, Valley.
I have always thought that there ought to be European-style traffic circles at Olympic/Fairfax/San Vicente, Beverly/Temple/Virgil/Silver Lake, and the Sunset Junction.
There’s clusterbang in Beverly Hills coming off of Coldwater Canyon just past Sunset. Not only is it just as large as the San Vincente/Cienega exchange, not only are there at least 12 different lanes of oppossing traffic, but there’s not even traffic lights. you have to cross a nuetral zone of asphalt ducking and dodging the other fucks who couldn’t squint far enough to see who’s turn it is to go. cars move, but it’s a fucking mess.
and then you have to do it again one block south.
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Update:
Jason takes time out to submit a shitty intersection to the list:
I wanted to submit a classic. Possibly the oldest fucked up intersection in L.A. (besides the entire 110 freeway) is in the middle of Beverly Hills where Beverly Dr., Benedict Cyn, and Lomitas Ave. intersect. It’s like 6 two-way thoroughfares coming together in one HUGE circle which in Europe would have been engineered as a roundabout years ago. It is a microcosm of Los Angeles driver etiquette. You can see which types of cars/drivers adhere to the right-of-way laws and which types say fuck it and just charge through. It’s like playing chicken with a BMW! Plus, I think it may border the park where George Michael got popped in the bathroom.
——–
Thanks for the submission, Jason. I believe you’re talking about the giant, green eerie area near the Beverly Hills Hotel, if I’m not mistaken. I have yet to calculate the precise level of shittiness in both Jason and Nesto’s submissions, but rest assured I’ll make the rounds tomorrow with the shitstick, measure up and report back with my findings. Keep ‘em coming.
I live in Palms, just southeast of the National/Overland/I-10 mess. I’ve never understood why they don’t just switch up the names of the National Boulevard stub east of Westwood and what is now National Place. Then, LADOT could put up signs directing eastbound traffic on National to turn right at where Westwood now ends.
In general, though, this intersection is a prime example of why you shouldn’t try to ram giant diagonal roads, whether surface streets or freeways, through a dense urban fabric.
Are they maybe doing something at the Temple/Beverly/Silver Lake CF? Last time I drove through, they had razed everything that was on that “island” in the middle of the intersection and I was hoping that it was a traffic mitigation thing.
One can always dream…
At least the busiest intersection in the Valley – Sepulveda/Ventura – is not a clusterfuck mighty danger zone. Waiting to get through just increases your grey hair count.
Don’t forget the amazingly bad Ventura and Topanga intersection, in Woodland Thrills. However, the Trader’s in Chatsworth (Mason and Devonshire) is a gem. Plenty o’ parking, not crowded, and everything inside is fresh. One big benny of living in the Valley.
Yeah, but even in the dumpiest part of the West Side (Palms) there are three TJ’s within walking distance of my apartment. Suck it!
Golem… Chatsworth! TJ, Porn Edition has parking to spare? That could be the one I’m thinking of. Chatsworth or Canoga either, I’d sooner drive an hour out there than go to the one two miles away at La Brea and Third. Any day.
Whitworth and anything between Beverly Dr. and Robertson along the BH/LA border. I live on Whitworth in a constant state of car horns and tire screeches with the sporadic yet satisfying crunch of aluminum, steel, and glass. What is so fucking hard about a two-way stop at a 90 degree intersection?!? Also gotta sound off on Westwood and Olympic. Again, a simple perpendicular intersection on paper, but those left-turn-pockets be damned! If the turn arrow or regular light turns yellow, the third – sixth cars waiting in each of the turn pockets is going to make the turn, regardless of a red light or oncoming traffic. And to complete my rant, the Trader’s in Palms is Sodom.
Which Palms Trader’s? Palms/Sepulveda, or National/Westwood? Don’t be hating on the National TJ’s that graciously shares its parking lot with the synagogue across the street.
Sorry for the confusion, I meant the one at Sepulveda and Palms.
Any intersection anywhere involving light rail running at street level. FOR FUCK’S SAKE, PEOPLE, CHICAGO PUTS THESE THINGS ON STILTS FOR A REASON!
[...] If you’re a pupusa fan, and let’s face it, why the hell wouldn’t you be, you could do far worse than the Master when in MacArthur Park. Just watch out for that intersection off Burlington. [...]
You want a bad intersection, you gotta head over to Beverly Hills. At the southern tip of Will Rogers Park lies the triple intersection of Lomitas, Canon, and Beverly. Cars coming from six different directions, and no lights, only stop signs. Nobody knows who has the right of way. And it’s a necessary pass-through if you need to get to Benedict Canyon or Coldwater Canyon.
Sorry, one more bad one. Anyone ever tried to cross Highland while driving on Franklin? Bad idea. Really, truly, bad idea.
TJ lots are so consistently bad one must consider the possibility that they’re set up that way ON PURPOSE, as some sort of “let’s make everyone think we’re super busy and popular all the time” play, when in fact, it only takes about 3 cars to snarl the whole affair. But for really, truly world-class parking lot clusterfucks, I nominate the Fox Galaxy lot and the CNN tower lot in Hollywood. Both feature a multitude of planning sins exacerbated by surly security.
Come on Boss.
How could you leave out the worst intersection the whole city: the infamous Sunset – Hollywood – Virgil – Hillhurst megillah in Los Feliz / Silverlake. No signage, lots of pedestrians, and absolutely noone knows when it’s their time to make a left hand turn.
Bonus points for being the longest fucking traffic light in the whole city. You literally have time to stop at the light, leave your car, buy a ticket at the Vista, and get back behind the wheel before theres a chance of the light turning.
Mr. S, interesting conspiracy theory RE: TJ.
Mr. MichaelP, numerous people have mailed in the same intersection and/or posted elsewhere, but this is the first time it’s made the list here. Thanks for adding, I enjoyed the Vista bit. But most importantly, thanks for calling me “Boss.”
Good to see more Misters turning up in the joint.
How about getting on South Huntington from near where Soto turns into Huntington: you’ve got no vision and you’re going to get rear-ended if you don’t go. And then South Huntington under the overpass to Soto (or where Huntington becomes Mission), the merge is just stupid, and then you’re supposed to stop before you can merge. And then people get frustrated and pass on the left to merge right. Luckily, people keep plowing the sign over so when it’s down it’s a yield.
How about Glendale at Alvarado? Going north on Alvarado, it’s one of the most exciting left turns I’ve ever made. Exposition at Figueroa is jacked up too. Cars coming off the 110 fly through the light right into a high pedestrian zone – Trojans, look out!!
The Trader Joe’s parking lot at Marina Pacifica in Long Beach is particularly heinous.
It’s not one of the mega intersections like the ones listed, but I fucking hate Wilshire and Santa Monica. Especially around dinner time, the traffic gets completely absurd.
I’ve lived here my whole pointless life, and yet this strange issue keeps me up at night: Are there one, or two San Vicente Blvds.?
I’m very good with directions, yet I get lost on San Vicente. I remember when I was a young lad driving across the City of Angels, and I had to make a stop on San Vicente. Well I turned west onto San Vicente, needing to be in West L.A., but that goddamn street took me to the Hollywood Hills.
There are two San Vicente’s. One that starts up on Sunset, near Doheny in West Hollywood, and it goes diagonally southeast until it hits Venice Blvd, right by La Brea Ave.
Then there’s the San Vicente that starts on Wilshire Blvd, right near the 405, and heads northwest, becoming the principle thoroughfare of Brentwood, and straightens out until it hits Ocean Ave, right at the Pacific Ocean.
LA streets can be confusing, even to us natives!
[...] Here’s Ryan’s favorite intersection! Notice how I deftly navigated to the correct lane continuing eastbound on National, rather than dumping myself onto the Santa Monica Freeway at 4 PM. [...]
[...] Bitching no longer works, friend. Gone are the days I gripe about it. Does anybody remember Valentine’s Day? I sure as hell do. How long did it take me to get home from work. Four hours? Seven? Eighteen? [...]
What about anything within a mile radius of the hollywood bowl on the night of a show? Forest lawn, Highland, “the” 101, Cahengua, they all become quite shitty at this time, just so some people can go to see Tom Petty.
[...] I live by the Farmer’s Market. Fairfax is never an option. I drive the alleys. I’m an alley man. But I hate anything on San Vicente. San Vicente screws me every time, never fail. And then there’s this giant five-way intersection at Virgil, Silverlake and Beverly. It’s a five-way completely screwed-up intersection. [...]
[...] just off the Virgil/Silverlake/Temple/Beverly mindfuck, has wisely chosen a reversed, all-caps bold on its brown façade. Specifically, they’ve [...]
[...] at the notorious mindfuck loosely dubbed an intersection at Fairfax, Olympic and San [...]
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In the city of Burbank, there’s the 5 point cluster fuck known as Victory, Victory Place, Burbank, CostCo. They found the worst intersection in the Valley and threw in a warehouse store in the middle just for fun.
How can you leave off the Hollywood/Sunset/Virgil/Hillhurst ass rape by the Vista Theater? That’s like making a list of the greatest Jewish pitchers to wear #32 and have arm trouble and leaving off Sandy Koufax.
The Franklin/Highland mess can be the most infuriating experience of you life if you happen to find yourself entering on a Friday night. If there is a bowl event you might as well shoot yourself right then and there. But, for my money the lamest intersection has to be Western/Santa Monica. It’s so crammed with pedestrians and buses and assholes making lefts (without turn lanes) that barely 10 cars can make it through every signal cycle. Avoid at all costs !
[...] the worst intersection in Los Angeles, and [...]
Everyone, there was a very tragic triple car crash on S La Brea Ave / W Olympic Blvd, Los Angeles yesterday, 01/27/09 at around 12:00pm, & it left a young female “Doctor” mid 20’s dead. The sad thing is that this was caused by “speeding!” The car who hit her decided to go 100mph on a 35mph zone…Let us all prey for her family, and may God rest her soul. People please dont speed above the limit. Just looking at this crash with her dead inside for almost 5 hrs waiting for the coroner, had me thinking, does her family know??? GOD will they be ready to find out theyre daugther just died on her way (possibly) home??? Its just not worth the 5 minutes getting there early(speeding). No further comments…
that lady is a doctor? (r.i.p.) i saw that accident i was there when that ish happened. Grand Cherokee jeep flipped over and smash that toyota and hit a porsche.
i’m sorry, jeep cherokee flipped over after he smashed into that doctor’s car.
everybody please treat your car like a gun, it’s either kill you or kill someone.
How can the intersection of Sunset Blvd. Beverly dr. and cresent heights in beverly hills,
Вот это да… Много комментариев и практически ни одного по делу