Fauxfile: Super Tortas
By Ryan - Saturday January 07th 2006 |
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Holy bittersweetastic chocolate-covered chariots, I’ve been meaning to hit this place for ages. Super Tortas, ladies and gents. This place has so many things going for it right out of the gate, beginning with the fact that it has the word ‘Super’ in the name of the establishment. Mark ‘em with me.
Font: Judas Priest rocker. Logo: Li’l Debbie Oatmeal Pie™ fronting zorro mask and ‘stache roughage. Location: Close to home in the heart of s(t)eamy tinseltown. Tinseltown! All manner of silly, all manner of disgust one could ever choose but a stone’s throw away, night or day. Fountain and Vine. Just around the corner from the bar I used to frequent whenever the dj collective threw free redstripes.
Downside. The parking lot here is an absolute nightmare. I have no idea how it works. Cars are stacked on one side, but there are permits required. The other side might be useable, briefly, but the slots are numbered and every.single.number. has a car’s ass already straddling it. It is possible that you can’t even use this parking lot, legally.
Enough of that and on to the food. Whether you like your tortas al pastor, cubana, milanesa, DF, sin queso, con frijoles…Super Tortas has you covered. They’re super. And, unsurprisingly, they’re tortas. So basically the name makes sense. If you like rice and beans, you can order rice and beans. The chips are crunchy, just as you’d expect chips to be. The salsa is red, like you like the salsa to be. The salsa is also green, like you also like the salsa to be.
Closing note. I should probably also mention that unlike previous reviews, I’ve never actually eaten here. Hell no. I ate at the farmer’s market before writing this. Apparently, it’s a chain. I have every intention of eating here soon but this review could be total bullshit for all I know. It could be way off base. It could be right on. It could be a happy medium. You decide. The parking bit is accurate, I feel. Sending this one to the people. First comment with an actual review gets medium horchata paid for. This is not a joke. Go read this review. It appears legit. At the very least, he didn’t start his post with ‘holy bittersweetastic.’
Super Tortas
1253 Vine St Ste 8
(323) 469-8912
Intern update!
Mair the Intern wrote this week:
hey. i’ve been feeling under the weather. i’m trying
to write the review, but my brain keeps on farting.
give me a few more days. thanks, mair
Intern. Thin ice. Risking incomplete vs. credit. LJ need performers. Gurgitators. Performing Gurgitators. Step up. I’ve resorted to writing reviews of establishments I haven’t actually visited.
i’ll take that free horchata, what w/ being jobless and all, thank you. pay up. o yeah, i don’t have a review, per se, but let’s just say it’s mediocre, on a good day. thank you.
Best Bean and Rice Burrito in town. And the little man will let you park anywhere you like if you tell him where you’re going.
Thanks Kim. Any experience with the tortas? Regardless, next horchata’s on me. We’ll do this via paypal. Await my next correspondence out of the public eye.
I have friends who swear by the tortas, but when you find a good bean & rice, there is no reason to falter. And wow, free horchata, how neat is that? Thanks!
I have actually had many wonderful tortas from the super, Super Tortas! The bread is crisp and yummy, the beef tender enough and very tasty. Add some hot sauce and you’re in heaven. And, it’s only like $5 for the combo. I’m actually going to stop by there today for lunch, so i was surprised to see your [non]review. You’re right on about the parking, though.
Rikki, thanks for the stellar info. KC already snagged the horchata, but stay tuned for more giveaways. We may be giving away a Stallone pudding cup soon. Vanilla. Maybe lemon.
That’s ok, i can get my own horchata! as i type this i’m eating my fabulous torta. the one thing i forgot to mention is you *have* to order the rib-eye torta…that’s the bomb! make sure you put Tapatio on it!
Las 15 Letras, a ska band, has a song called Supertortas. I’d be the song is better than the food.