UCLA Groper Gropes Again

The UCLA Groper (El Tanteodor in Español) has struck again, bringing the total number of gropes to 7 gropes in about the last month or so. The Groper’s M.O. is to sneak up on young co-eds in and grope their breastesses with a two-handed honk from behind, then flee the scene on foot. The gropes have taken place in broad daylight in the apartment area just west of the campus. How exactly these gropes provide a kick for The Groper is not clearly understood, though from his composite sketch he certainly looks like a sick fuck that just might get off on it. It is also unknown if he is singling out for groping young ladies of, shall we say, a certain level of mammary endowment. The news just doesn’t report what you really want to know. But KCBS2 has put all WOMEN ON ALERT, so if you are woman in the Westwood area, please note that you are ON ALERT. Keep it here for complete up-to-the-minute Groper coverage.