“Radical” Prof. Evaluator Was Neo-Con Hack at UCLA

Andrew Jones? Or the Real Andrew Jones? This clown Andrew Jones and his misleadingly-named “Bruin Alumni Association” (oddly enough, not affiliated with the university nor its alumni association) have been in the news for his McCarthyist hitlist of “radical” professors and, more recently, his subsequent backpedaling from his cash-for-tipoffs offer.

What your more respectable publications (e.g., not us) Say what?!–Ed. have not wasted their time on is the content of his college newspaper stuff. A look at Jones’s writings during tenure as a Daily Bruin columnist from 2000-2003, reveal an agenda some might construe as racist, sexist and possibly just plain kooky, to say the least. Once you get past the UCLA paper’s ill-advised decision to give him a platform to reiterate Neo-Con talking points (liberal media bias, hello?), you will find the angry polemics of a budding Sean Hannity-type, diligently hitting all the right hot buttons: anti-PC, anti-affirmative action, anti-feminist, anti-Hollywood, anti-drug legalization, anti-Social Security, and so on and so on.

To give you an idea of the mind behind all this “radical” professor hoopla, sample some of his more stupefying statements, handily stripped of any annoying context in order to maximize their absurdity:

Al Gore invented the Internet … and all these years later, our collective hard drive runneth over with porn and illegal music files. (source)

The federal government must divest itself of all social programs, and return power to state governments, or better, to the people. (source)

Those seniors who made no other savings and expected their Social Security check to provide for them in old age were nothing short of idiotic. (source)

In all likelihood, our justice system does send minorities to prison for drug offenses more often and for longer terms. It’s inequality at its worst. But here’s the solution: Don’t use drugs. Yes, it’s as simple as that! The Man won’t have any cause to lock you up. (source)

UCLA is indeed a unique campus. For only here do racial-identity groups (at least one fully-funded group for each race, except those pesky caucasians) hold such vast power to polarize and create tension. (source)

By the way, in this last one, his suggestion here that “caucasian” is a “race,” is a tell-tale giveaway of you know what. I think we understand each other here.

Most stunning and unintentionally hilarious, though, is a piece of his entitled “Sexual double standard is natural,” which finds Jones groping in the dark (of a cave, apparently) to explain to us the female/slut vs. male/stud social dicotomy. Some prime cuts from it:

A secondary factor in the development of the sluts-and-studs conundrum has come from the physical imagery of the act. The man uses the sword – his penis – to “stab” the woman … In the traditional missionary position, the woman is on bottom, receiving the thrusts of the man. Being on top in a physical “struggle” is, like the “sword battle,” a victory for the man and a defeat for the woman. Since many sexual positions involve the woman in a subservient position, the man retains the role of dominance.

Now that pregnancy can be controlled, women have no rationale for refusing sex. “I don’t feel like it” is far less compelling than “If we have sex, I might get pregnant.” The general increase in sexual activity is doing nobody any favors from a standpoint of sexually transmitted diseases.

Wow. Apparently Andy ain’t gettin’ any and, when he does, only likes to be on top. I wonder if Linda Chavez read this before she joined the board of his Bruin Alumni Association (not affiliated with UCLA). Or maybe it persuaded her to do so, who knows.

Lest you think it’s all right-wing ideologue pablum, he leavens the mood mood with a hilarious unironic defense of the band Metallica from the time of Napster. Forget everything I quoted above; this alone renders his judgement unsound.

So the upshot of all this is that the concern over this guy’s present business of the professor witchhunt is unnecessary. There’s no need to take him or his Bruin Alumni Association (not affiliated with UCLA) seriously.

Interactive Portion: Did you know Andrew Jones at UCLA or back home in Tennessee? Do you have any embarassing, possibly libelous, story about Andrew you’d like to share with all of us? We’ll pay $100 for each verified anecdote.*

*Not really. But feel free to leave any dirt on him in the comments below.