Culinary Musings: Sweet Lady Jane

mair the internokay ryan. you know how you gave me an assignment in december. well miraculously, i didn’t eat ketchup since then so i can’t tell you what places had the best ketchup. i also don’t use mayo or mustard in my food, so i couldn’t tell you what places had the best and worst.

also, remember i did see okie dog (please, oki. ’Okie’ ~ rural Oklahoman relocated to Bakersfield, dust bowl era. — ’okie’ ed) and the tommy’s off of the 101 exit at hollywood. contemplated going, but since it was 8:30am i couldn’t find myself going in for a chili cheese dog and burger with chili cheese fries for breakfast. maybe next time.

i entitle this entry sweet lady jane because it appears as though i have completed your task in mid-december.

a friend came to visit from new york and two friends here had never been to sweet lady jane. jt and i love scones and last time we were at sweet lady jane we have the best blackberry scones. so good, that whenver i go, i make the person i’m with try the scones. and man, are those mighty fine scones. along with the three berry cake for the fruit fan who does not want chocolate, and the almond roca fan for the dark chocolate lover. so sweet lady jane assures us, “oh the scones are good” and jt and i say “oh we know, we’ve had them before!”

so we all know what happens with expectations, they exist to let you down. (well said – ed) we eat some of our cake slices. then we get the scones accompanied with our tea and french coffee. and man, was that a nasty scone. it was not scone light. mooshy, but dry. basically we tried the drier edges first and it just tasted bad. thankfully jt and i agreed it was gross. so we told our waiter, who i think is related to the owner. and he tells me, “well that can’t be they were baked at 6am this morning” (who was baked at 6am? -ed) and i tell him, “well it can be since i’ve had them many times before and they have always been good, but not tonight!!!!!” then he goes, “are you sure?” and i’m like, “i’m sure sucker! i don’t want that goddam scone! i stuff it where the sun don’t shine!!!” (good use of goddam. -ed)

okay, the last part isn’t true. ( :/ - ed) i think the other two girls felt uncomfortable because along with not wanting to eat cake, supposedly no sweet tootch – but they did eat some. liars. is complaining at restaurants a no-no? well it’s a yes-yes to me if the food is bad. i’ve done it a few times at cheesecake factory, that’s why i only like dessert there, it’s the only thing that is always good. at sweet lady jane once the alcohol wasn’t cooked out of my raspberry lemon curd cake and i got a little tipsy so i had to send it back. i didn’t care for the refund or a replacement, and i didn’t get one. for the scones though, i wanted to let them know they weren’t good. i wasn’t looking for a refund either. but the man took off my two scones at $1.95 a pop. big deal. but their cake is so good that i still go there. am i a masochist or a sadist if i still get their scones too? whatevs. they make damn good cake.

sweet lady jane
8360 melrose, in weho
(melrose and la cienega, toward the east two or three blocks)
323/653-7145

street parking, meters in front and neighborhood parking along kings rd. and orlando av.
cash and credit accepted.
well reviewed lunch time sandwich line (??- ed) , as well as a buy six pies at $50 each get one free when you turn in all the pie tins. (fucking holy shit fuck. you did say $50 each, right? as compared to $5 at any given Callender’s. Just checking. -ed)

Outro: What is this, a sweet lady jane review sans stories about the staff and the ghost of Orson Welles, actually focusing on the potentially slipshod food quality in relation to the price tag? Approved, wholeheartedly. — ’okie’ ed.