Help Us Buy The Capitol Records Tower

Future Home of LosanjealousWe’ve had our eye on this office space for a while. Frequently (usually during a drunken stumble through Cahuenga corridor) we’ve wondered aloud about taking over this building for losanjealous HQ. And, finally, it’s up for sale. Designed by Welton Becket in 1956, the Capitol Records Tower is 13 stories tall–perfect for our rapidly expanding enterprise. We already have an office configuration in mind:

  • Ground floor Reception/Lobby. LaVerne Casagrande will greet visitors. There will be Eames furniture by Herman Miller. We promise good, current magazines and good, current coffee.
  • Floor 2Mailroom/Day Spa. Interns will start here.
  • Floor 3 Recording Studio/Record Press. We will keep the original Capitol equipment to cut singles as the mood strikes us.
  • Floor 4 I.T. Dept/Salsa Bar. Both servers and salsa will be maintained at 50 degrees for maximum performance. Area tacos & burritos will be served and reviewed alongside a weekly rotation of salsas.
  • Floor 5 Advertising/Marketing. There will be a long, lacquered cherry beech wood table with speakerphones and crystal water pitchers at either end.
  • Floor 6 Ping-pong tables.
  • Floor 7 Photography/Video Studio. Talent will be flown in, auditioned and put on tape for future consideration.
  • Floor 8The DeMarco Zone.
  • Floor 9Research & Development. Protective eyewear mandatory.
  • Floor 10100 Monkeys, 100 Typewriters. Just kidding. But this is where we will hunker down and put pen to paper. Or put bytes to server disks or whatever.
  • Floor 11 Ryan’s Danger Desk. Local adventures (food-based, mountain-based and otherwise) will be evaluated for bodily injury potential and designated for future assignments.
  • Floor 12 Editorial/Cigar Humidifier. The entire floor will be sealed for optimum moisture for the keeping of Ron’s cigars.
  • Floor 13Club Losanjealous.

Help us realize us this dream. It’s only right that a new L.A. icon should take the place of an old one. They estimate the tower should go for between $35-50 mil. Figuring the low end of that, we will need to put down $4-5 mil. If each of you readers contributed $1,000 (just $2.74 a day for 1 year), we’d have the down payment easily. Needless to say, you will get an inscribed donors’ brick in the lobby acknowledging your contribution.

If this building gets turned into condos, someone is getting their ass kicked.