*or until trash day, Thursday

I’ve walked by this Dumpster 50 times, but never while it was open.

I saw no dead bodies. Maybe this is the official dumping ground of their sucky new album…

The Slayer Dumpster
Fairfax Village
Hours: M-F 8am-7pm
Sat 9am-1pm.
Closed Sundays.

‘Twere a night unlike any other, lads. All Hallows Eve, they called it. Throughout the city the sounds coo! coo! bk coooo! were replaced by screeches most unholy-vile as to send shivers up and down wee-spine of Chiliburger. With but week-and-day until time-of-the-vote arriveth didst wonder aloud to self on more than one occasion, “‘Twouldst be able to vote this go ’round?”

Coo! Bk-Coooo! A-Cooooo! Coooo - Coooo. Coo! Coo, Cooooo, coooooooooo-Coo!
Bk-Coooo! A-Cooooo! Coooo - Coooo.

Screeches unholy moans and th’what-havst-yous interrupted said thoughts as abruptly as entered (wee) head. Didst finally then settle down and manage to carve self-portrait into large-girthed gourd a’fore setting out on town proper. Not wholly unflattering at that, if I may toot mine own horn but once, twice. Coo. Witness!:

We have tickets for you to see Brazilian Girls tomorrow night. No, not these actual Brazilian girls, but these Brazilian Girls. Sure to be a fun Halloween party at the Wiltern.

Send us your name and a description of your Halloween costume to
BG-contest@losanjealous.com. Best costume ideas (actual or conceptual–go nuts) will win tickets. Contest ends at 12:00 noon tomorrow, Tues. 10/31. Winners will be notified shortly thereafter.

Alas, the contest has ended. Thanks to all who entered. This is sure to be a good time, so check out ticket purchase availability.

As a bald, 51 year-old Bruce Willis once again dons the smug grimaces and multiple bodily fluid-soaked wife-beater to reprise the role of John McClain, a put-upon ex-cop forced repeatedly into situations he did not create but must finish, airline passengers and airport workers are advised that they will be inconvenienced during filming around LAX.

Live Free or Die Hard, the 4th and most unnecessary installment of the Die Hard franchise (originally titled Die Hard IV: Back In Hot Water) will fuck shit up, trafficwise, during the following periods:

Thurs. Nov. 2 - Sun. Nov. 5; Wed. Nov. 8 - Sun. Nov. 12; and Sat. Nov. 18 - Sun. Nov. 19

During all periods, Imperial Highway is scheduled to be closed in both directions between Nash Street and Aviation Blvd. from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.; and the westbound lanes closed an additional three hours until 7 p.m.

While plot details are not known at press time, an unidentified source told us that it is “like Die Hard meets Speed but at the airport.” Futher spoiling it for potential movie-goers, the production company revealed in its letter of intent and permit applications that it will use “pyrotechnics and ‘gunfire for the entire time’ of the filming and ‘there will be larger explosions’ with accompanying smoke early morning of Sundays, Nov. 5 and 12.” So now that you know there will be gunfire, pyrotechnics, and “larger explosions with accompanying smoke,” you can decide whether or not to throw $11.50 at this.

When you’re stuck in traffic, you can call the PR contact Nancy Suey Castles at (310) 646-5260 just to say “hi.”

Visit our concert calendar for a full show list, links to buy tickets and our top picks.

PICK OF THE WEEK: Sweden

The Knife, Love is All and The Ark. All from Sweden. All in L.A. this week. Are we to believe this is a mere coincidence? And I suppose its also a coincidence that I just received a 2007 IKEA catalog in the mail? Goddamit, we are in the midst of a Swedish Invasion. I said it. Skål!

THIS WEEK’S TICKET GIVEAWAYS

BRAZILIAN GIRLS [official site] Tuesday, October 31 - Halloween show! Wiltern Theater Contest has ended Check ticket availability

REGINA SPEKTOR [official site] Thursday, November 2 Avalon Hollywood Contest has ended Check ticket availability

HEADS UP
Tokyo Police Club, 120 Days @ The Echo Sun 11/12
KFED!!! @ House of Blues Wed 11/22
Damien Rice @ Orpheum Theater Fri 12/8
Little Ones @ The Echo Sat 12/9
Peaches @ Avalon Wed 12/13
Earlimart @ The Getty (free w/rsvp) Fri 3/9

Here I Dreamt We Were an Audience

The Crane Wife
I cracked open the binding and flipped past the title page, landing squarely upon the first page of the first chapter and began to read the starkly beautiful and tragic folk tale of the sail maker and his beloved. Osamu’s sad tale had barely begun when I looked up to see eight bright red lanterns suspended in a false sky. Behind them was a large woodcut printed on laid cotton paper with dark India ink. The image evoked Osamu’s home, perched high above the sea, serene and still, and it remained so as other images swirled in and out of the foreground. I was inside the story, but which one? Was this Osamu’s tale or another, taken from a different place and time? It wasn’t clear, but there was no time to question the images, for they would come and go like the sweetest of pop songs, and they compelled me forward.
»continue reading The Decemberists at the Wiltern, 10/21/06

Imagine a dark London alley where passionate strangers meet. Or the backroom of a glamorous club, cocaine heaped high. It is the late ‘70’s or early ‘80’s. Two pop icons, one glam and one goth, find each other across the abyss of circumstance. They embrace. There is no conversation, no eye contact, no violins (except for synth violins). Robert finds his cure, Freddie his queen. Bereft of uteruses both, they lay the tiny, still unformed offspring of their union in a cabbage patch. And then they part forever. The flowers name the orphan “Brandon.”
»continue reading The Killers at The Wiltern (or, The Untold Story of Brandon Flowers)

The Losanjealous Benevolent Society gathers a weekly list of strange happenings and fun events in LA–the more ridiculous, the better. Visit our events calendar for the full list. And if you’re organizing or know of an event you think belongs on the list, send us info at tips@losanjealous.com.

FRIDAY

Creature Own Reality
A night of music, art, catwalks, food, quantum physics and pumpkins. Music by Ima Robot. $10 w/rsvp.

Diamanda Galás - Guilty, Guilty, Guilty
Vocalist and virtuoso pianist, sine qua non diva Diamanda Galás returns to Royce Hall for a spellbinding night of tragic and homicidal love songs.

Of The Flesh: Skin Works 1990-2005
A survey of Andrew Krasnow’s works in human skin. Through Thu 12/14.

SLUTS! The Musical @ Renberg Theater
Julie Brown, of MTV and Earth Girls are Easy fame, will perform selections from Medusa as well as new material and songs that she promised will entertain and possibly piss off everyone, especially Paris Hilton. Through Sat 10/28.

The Lazers of Sexcellance! @ Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
An evening of lazer powered comedy, stories and ass kicking spoken word with Amber Tamblyn and Derrick Brown.

»continue reading Losanjealous Benevolent Society Events: October 27 - November 2

»continue reading Cansei de Ser Sexy (CSS) @ UCLA, 10/26/06

Sam Shepard, a product of the Yale School of Drama and Pulitzer Prize winning playwright, is one weird mother. Often, you are hard pressed to figure out whether his statements are as odd or otherwise anachronistic as they appear — or just merely ironic. The play is a tough one, dealing with the dark side of fame, the inescapability of fate, the heredity of madness. Do you need to kill yourself to live? Could you stop yourself?

(Sam Shepard, interestingly enough, shares a similar name with Dr. Sam Sheppard, the doctor accused of bludgeoning his pregnant wife to death. That is, the plot line behind “The Fugitive.” Dr. Sheppard died in 1970, while the playwright Shepard still draws oxygen.)
»continue reading Flock to Shepard

With his latest Babel hitting theaters this weekend, we offer you tickets to see a special screening of González Iñárritu’s excellent 2000 debut, Amores Perros, this Saturday, October 28, 7:30 PM at LACMA.
As a special bonus for this event, González Iñárritu himself, along with various collaborators will discuss their experiences making this film prior to the screening.

»continue reading Secret Machines @ Union Station, 10/24/06

Recently we sent a writer and a photographer to a Los Angeles Derby Dolls event to see what the hell was going on. A week-and-a-half later with no review in my inbox, it is now time to resort to that oldest of journalism hat tricks, Roller Derby Madlibs. For those of you who have never heard of Madlibs (not this Madlib), I pity you because it means you’ve probaby never driven a great distance in the back seat of a steamy car in the 1970s. Be that as it may, Madlibs is a word game. You’re given a largely completed story, but there are a few missing words indicated by “blank lines.” Each line gets its own set of brief, quasi-vague instructions. The object is to turn to the person next to you to fill in the blanks. “Give me a noun. Now give me a verb. Now an adverb. Ah fuck. Shit. Sorry I meant adjective. Ok now a plural noun. Now a body part…” Ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Once all of the blanks are filled, your story is complete. You read the story out loud. Occasionally, hilarity ensues.

For the story below, our Losanjealous Derby Dolls photographer [Kdrive] filled in the blanks for me, completely out of context. The words he supplied are in bold italics. Here we go:
»continue reading Roller Derby Madlibs