This just in:

Your dumb-shit/fuck president will be taking a break from his global fucking of shit in an upward direction in order to swoop into town and (shit-)fuck up our streets this evening, as if our streets aren’t already fucked shittily enough under normal conditions.

It is not clear at press time what purported official business shit Bush will fucking up while in town, but the shit that will be bonus-fucked as a side-effect is that Sepulveda from Wilshire to Sunset and Sunset across the north edge of the UCLA campus will be completely up shit-fuck creek starting at 4 pm today.

So if you are stuck in fucked-in-shit traffic on the 405, don’t even think about juping over to Sepulveda, because you’ll be even more fucked, and, quite possibly, you will be tried as a enemy combatant, what with the bills Congress is passing these days.

The good news is that the shit should be unfucked by 8 pm, when Bush leaves the area and returns to the fucking up of shit on a wider scale.