Bush to Take Break from Fucking Shit Up Globally to Fuck Shit Up Locally
This just in:
Your dumb-shit/fuck president will be taking a break from his global fucking of shit in an upward direction in order to swoop into town and (shit-)fuck up our streets this evening, as if our streets aren’t already fucked shittily enough under normal conditions.
It is not clear at press time what purported official business shit Bush will fucking up while in town, but the shit that will be bonus-fucked as a side-effect is that Sepulveda from Wilshire to Sunset and Sunset across the north edge of the UCLA campus will be completely up shit-fuck creek starting at 4 pm today.
So if you are stuck in fucked-in-shit traffic on the 405, don’t even think about juping over to Sepulveda, because you’ll be even more fucked, and, quite possibly, you will be tried as a enemy combatant, what with the bills Congress is passing these days.
The good news is that the shit should be unfucked by 8 pm, when Bush leaves the area and returns to the fucking up of shit on a wider scale.
TIME UNTIL LOCAL GLOBAL FUCKING UP OF SHIT ENDS THE GLOBE:

Um… somehow I think you’re going to be hard pressed to find someone to admit that Julie.
I, for one, forgot to set my Tivo while I was at the Clay Aiken concert and missed it.
Did anyone catch Bush fucking up Barbara Streisand’s concert last night?
> No, rather that the problem is a general lack of self-reliance, as well as an over-all sloth and cowardice amongst the populace to persue intellectual enlightenment, and the betterment of the society at large.
I personally blame postmodernism. The people who thought it up 30 years ago thought it was a cool new idea, but now that it’s actually been realized as a dominate philosophy for most americans, people are apathetic and disillusioned about the concept of intellectual enlightenment and the betterment of society at large.
+$0.02
(note to self – always check the preview of your post to make sure you haven’t fucked something up yourself…)
> No, rather that the problem is a general lack of self-reliance, as well as an over-all sloth and cowardice amongst the populace to persue intellectual enlightenment, and the betterment of the society at large.
> The social contract to which we have all acquiesced is what permitted the first “election”, no?
Well, technically, the social contract is a little different in different parts of the country. So quite a number of us didn’t understand that part of the social contract we were acquiescing to allowed lots of people in Florida to be removed illegally from the voter rolls just because they were black because where we lived, it, y’know, didn’t.
Just an example.
-fred
Mabus, I agree with whay you say, until you discard it all in the last line. The social contract to which we have all acquiesced is what permitted the first “election”, no?
“Democracy is the system where the people think they know what is best for them, and they deserve to get it good and hard”. – HL Mencken
No, rather that the problem is a general lack of self-reliance, as well as an over-all sloth and cowardice amongst the populace to persue intellectual enlightenment, and the betterment of the society at large.
Governments are nothing more then social contracts. The people are responsible for their own problems. Blaming the rulers already appointed by the grace of the people is a futile act of constantly exasperating hindsight, without learning from it. If a ruler is disagreeable to the people, he should never have been appointed in the first place.
Although, he did technically lose that first election, didn’t he?
Sherrie
Pray tell what is this “Onion” of which you speak?
HA! That headline was downright Onion-y of you guys.
Will this fuck up traffic on the 10 and all east/west boulevards?
What’s goof’up music and can I get some for $4.90? I passed on the glamour beer.
you are living in the best generation. i see you guys listening to your goof’up music, churning it up for trendy eateries, and making glamour out of cheap malt liquor at supermarkets. can’t you see that you are being distracted from reality. it’s people like you that push labor wages down and housing costs up. it’s all about consumption; not the bush king.
2012? Mmmm, sounds familiar….
Oh sweet jesus. Six years…
There you go, Katie.
Can we get a clock like this to count down until the end of the global fucking up of shit?
You’re all wrong here! Not only does Swingers have a parking lot that is not VONS, Bay Cities injects copius amounts of MSG into their generic meat products to make them seem halfway decent. Their food is shite I say. You’re better off parking at VONS and going to the Deli there. At least while your at it, pick up the cat food and batteries you keep forgetting about, you homicidal maniacs.
Btw…is that bastard still roaming the sunset strip???
my sister’s stuck at UCLA and can’t leave until they open the streets tonight at 8pm. isn’t this unlawful imprisonment? can we sue Bush?
good god, i love the godmother. With one of those giant dong pickles. Whole.
really you need the onions though.
Swingers West parking lot = Vons across the street. And get me a large Godmother w/ the works (spicy, no onions) at Bay Cities while you’re in the area.
Swingers West has a parking lot?
I say that the homicidal maniacs of today need to get their priorities straight.
HELP! I’m stranded by this Bush-shit in Santa Monica and I forgot my wallet today! I have $4.90 in my pocket. Do I have to get drunk on a 6 pk of Milwaukee’s Best in the parking lot of Swingers West to kill time?