Where in the World is Bill DeMarco???
That’s what we want to know.
He might be dead. He might be alive. One thing’s for sure: your opinion matters to us!
In our effort to bring you the most interesting possible content, Losanjealous scientists have composed this survey/aptitude test. Your responses will determine whether we continue bringing you the delightful adventures of Bill DeMarco. . .or can him. He wouldn’t have it any other way probably!
So take two minutes to complete the survey and answer the questions as if someone was pointing a gun at you on a ski-lift.
Call it homage. Call it democracy. Just don’t call it late for brunch!
Bon appetit!
How much did you enjoy Bill DeMarco’s Los Angeles?
a) a lot
b) some
c) kind of
d) n’t
e) who?
Were you offended by anything? If so, what?
a) references to sex
b) references to science
c) boringness
d) innuendo
e) low budget
Do you think you get more or less exercise than Bill?
a) more
b) less
How big do you think Bill’s dick is?
a) 12 inches
b) 9 inches
c) 17 inches
d) 35 inches
Who would you like to see Bill meet in the future?
a) Penn & Teller
b) Judy Tenuta
c) Richard Jeni
d) Paula Poundstone
e) Sinbad
What is your favorite thing Bill ever said?
a) “What do you want for breakfast?” (said over a phone)
b) “What do you want for breakfast?” (said after nudging your shoulder)
c) “What do you want for breakfast?” (said after reading someone’s newspaper and sliding it back into the plastic sleeve and putting it back on their porch)
d) “Works for me.”
e) “Nice jeans. Where’d you get them? Gays ‘R’ Us?”
If Bill painted his car a different color, what color should it be?
a) Umber
b) Ryegrass
c) Paradox
d) He should do that advertising stuff with the stickers
e) Tooth
What do you think is Bill’s favorite movie?
a) Rattle & Hum
b) Stop Making Sense
c) Pink Floyd’s The Wall
d) Eddie and the Cruisers
e) Sign o’ the Times
What are the ingredients of a “Café DeMarco�
a) Cointreau, lime juice, coffee
b) Cointreau, lemon juice, bitters, coffee
c) Crème de menthe, lemon juice, ground coffee beans, salt, agave
d) Bombay gin, gold flakes, sliver of boar tusk, glycerin, coffee
e) Coffee, half-and-half
What is the APR on Bill’s popular PerfectSmart card?
a) 66.8%
b) 45.2%
c) 41.19%
d) 40.19%
e) only 29.36%
Would you like it if Bill were not dead?
a) yes
b) no
Now it’s your turn. Has Bill completed his mission for the Losanjealous nation? Or does he have. . .unfinished business? Only his reader(s) know(s) for sure. Leave your answers in some kind of format in the Comments section. Take control of Bill’s destiny. And ours. And yours.
Remember: ski-lift.
