Where in the World is Bill DeMarco???
That’s what we want to know.
He might be dead. He might be alive. One thing’s for sure: your opinion matters to us!
In our effort to bring you the most interesting possible content, Losanjealous scientists have composed this survey/aptitude test. Your responses will determine whether we continue bringing you the delightful adventures of Bill DeMarco. . .or can him. He wouldn’t have it any other way probably!
So take two minutes to complete the survey and answer the questions as if someone was pointing a gun at you on a ski-lift.
Call it homage. Call it democracy. Just don’t call it late for brunch!
Bon appetit!
How much did you enjoy Bill DeMarco’s Los Angeles?
a) a lot
b) some
c) kind of
d) n’t
e) who?
Were you offended by anything? If so, what?
a) references to sex
b) references to science
c) boringness
d) innuendo
e) low budget
Do you think you get more or less exercise than Bill?
a) more
b) less
How big do you think Bill’s dick is?
a) 12 inches
b) 9 inches
c) 17 inches
d) 35 inches
Who would you like to see Bill meet in the future?
a) Penn & Teller
b) Judy Tenuta
c) Richard Jeni
d) Paula Poundstone
e) Sinbad
What is your favorite thing Bill ever said?
a) “What do you want for breakfast?” (said over a phone)
b) “What do you want for breakfast?” (said after nudging your shoulder)
c) “What do you want for breakfast?” (said after reading someone’s newspaper and sliding it back into the plastic sleeve and putting it back on their porch)
d) “Works for me.”
e) “Nice jeans. Where’d you get them? Gays ‘R’ Us?”
If Bill painted his car a different color, what color should it be?
a) Umber
b) Ryegrass
c) Paradox
d) He should do that advertising stuff with the stickers
e) Tooth
What do you think is Bill’s favorite movie?
a) Rattle & Hum
b) Stop Making Sense
c) Pink Floyd’s The Wall
d) Eddie and the Cruisers
e) Sign o’ the Times
What are the ingredients of a “Café DeMarco�
a) Cointreau, lime juice, coffee
b) Cointreau, lemon juice, bitters, coffee
c) Crème de menthe, lemon juice, ground coffee beans, salt, agave
d) Bombay gin, gold flakes, sliver of boar tusk, glycerin, coffee
e) Coffee, half-and-half
What is the APR on Bill’s popular PerfectSmart card?
a) 66.8%
b) 45.2%
c) 41.19%
d) 40.19%
e) only 29.36%
Would you like it if Bill were not dead?
a) yes
b) no
Now it’s your turn. Has Bill completed his mission for the Losanjealous nation? Or does he have. . .unfinished business? Only his reader(s) know(s) for sure. Leave your answers in some kind of format in the Comments section. Take control of Bill’s destiny. And ours. And yours.
Remember: ski-lift.
Judy Tenuta. Please?
How much did you enjoy Bill DeMarco’s Los Angeles?
a) a lot
(except for that Chantal bullsh*t)
Were you offended by anything? If so, what?
e) low budget
Do you think you get more or less exercise than Bill?
a) more
Actually, probably less (if you count his Tai-Chi classes). But I could still take you, DeMarco!
How big do you think Bill’s dick is?
c) 17 inches
At least. (DeMarco, we’ve had our disagreements, but I know you got a Samurai dick!)
Who would you like to see Bill meet in the future?
e) Sinbad
Phucking Sinbad, man! Oh, that would be phucking the sh*t. But take pix, Bill!!!!!
What is your favorite thing Bill ever said?
e) “Nice jeans. Where’d you get them? Gays ‘R’ Us?â€
DeMarco, man, that’s why I can’t hate you, man, cause of lines like that. HA HA HA HA HA. So phucking funny!!! I’m gonna use that on some of my boyz!
If Bill painted his car a different color, what color should it be?
Is this a trick question, ’cause I think he should get a new car. And it should be midnight blue, whatever it is. I’ll throw in some dough.
What do you think is Bill’s favorite movie?
e) Sign o’ the Times (But only because this one is the only option that seemed possible. My real guess would be Purple Rain. That movie is awesome. And totally DeMarco!)
What are the ingredients of a “Café DeMarco�
e) Coffee, half-and-half
What is the APR on Bill’s popular PerfectSmart card?
b) 45.2%
‘Cause you a hustla, BDM!
Would you like it if Bill were not dead?
b) YES!
How much did you enjoy Bill DeMarco’s Los Angeles?
a) a lot – sad to see it go, actually.
Were you offended by anything? If so, what?
The jokes I was too stupid to understand offended me.
Do you think you get more or less exercise than Bill?
a) more
How big do you think Bill’s dick is?
c) 17 inches
Who would you like to see Bill meet in the future?
a) Penn & Teller
e) Sinbad
Can’t decide… I’d lean toward Sinbad only because Penn & Teller might be pricks to Bill or something.
What is your favorite thing Bill ever said?
e) “Nice jeans. Where’d you get them? Gays ‘R’ Us?â€
If Bill painted his car a different color, what color should it be?
e) Tooth
What do you think is Bill’s favorite movie?
b) Stop Making Sense
What are the ingredients of a “Café DeMarco�
c) Crème de menthe, lemon juice, ground coffee beans, salt, agave. It sounds delicious.
What is the APR on Bill’s popular PerfectSmart card?
c) 41.19%
Would you like it if Bill were not dead?
a) Hell yes.
Tooth.
The end.
How much did you enjoy Bill DeMarco’s Los Angeles?
a) a lot
Were you offended by anything? If so, what?
a) references to sex
I was a little put off when i told me I needed to brush my teeth before i kissed him in the am
Do you think you get more or less exercise than Bill?
a) more
How big do you think Bill’s dick is?
d) 35 inches
however i don’t know what the hell was up with his pubic haircut.
Who would you like to see Bill meet in the future?
f) (write in) I would like him to meet Dennis Hastert in the octagon.
What is your favorite thing Bill ever said?
b) “What do you want for breakfast?†(said after nudging your shoulder)- pre teethbrushing
If Bill painted his car a different color, what color should it be?
I’m going to have to write in chartreuse
What do you think is Bill’s favorite movie?
I thought it was heaven can wait
What are the ingredients of a “Café DeMarco�
e) Coffee, half-and-half
What is the APR on Bill’s popular PerfectSmart card?
a) 66.8%
Would you like it if Bill were not dead?
a) yes &
b) no
I personally would like to see his work posthumously. I mean he could be like tupac but without the 35 inch dick.