Victor has left the office for the night. This (thankfully) post from 8:28 p.m. will be his last ‘Last of ‘Last of 2006.’” Let us look back on it with the usual polite indifference.
You guys started early tonight, didn’t you? Better not leave any goddamned bottles on the server this year. -Ed.
It is T-minus 3 hours, 31 minutes and Ryan has gone offline and embarked on his voyage to 2007. Sadly, this will be the last of his ‘Last of 2006’s. Let us look back fondly on The ‘Last Runyon of 2006,’ posted at 6:49 p.m. today.
The year ends precisely as it began: Sweating the dregs off a greasy hangover high atop Runyon. A wheeze; ascension. I’m Coltrane. Higher! I can do this. This is nothing.
In between the two lie some 363 days. I would re-live more than a few of them again, exactly as they went down the first time. No changes. No complaints.
Fortified with giant volume of Céline and
Awaiting thee mandatory magic ingredients:
Black coffee
The biscuit with its requisite herbed gravy
A couple eggs
And those scallion-flecked potatoes that’ll make your eyes water if you sit at the counter.
Hello, Will. Hello, Colette. Let’s do this again next year.
Special bonus photo: Millie’s Staple Post
4th @ Broadway
4:00pm PST
The familiar wafty scents of dog, bacon, onion, jalapeno permeate the curbside circus…
I can remember it as if it were yesterday.
In fact it was indeed yesterday.
So long 2006. You tasted great.
Happy New Year, Monterey Park, 1956
I hope you like yellow! Swedish monkeys tell us what year is ending and what year is beginning. Our smiling bartender pours a cocktail. There is a small open container of cigarettes in front of him and a pack of L&M’s where the Formica counter meets the wall.
Katie Kellogg wears horn-rimmed glasses, sling-back Cinderella slippers, red lips, red nails and rouge. She’s pulled up her plain-Jane party dress revealing some leg. In her left hand: her thigh. In her right: a mass produced clear green glass with a reindeer motif. At the bottom of that fancy glass: a perky pair of little plastic breasts! Happy New Year!
Here’s to you and your best new year yet!
Charles Phoenix
Visit Charles’ site or join his Slide of the Week Mailing List.
All I’d wanted was to get to the top of Micheltorena, and these assholes kept crowding me. Well, what to do. Shopping carts have just as much right to common stairwells and sidewalks as pedestrians, let’s face it. Some 35 carts passed me during the trek up, most of them shuffle-hopping up the hill. Eight were making their way towards Sunset. I heard mention of Dusty’s and something about El 7 Mares, but who knows where the fuckers were headed.
Christmas tree so tiny
New plywood tops and men who smoke
I sit here now
Counting transients filths and shifts
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
Where’d four go?
Ah. there he is.
Five plays a video game
Six engages in shady transactions, while
Seven just cusses a lot.
Eat yon erstwhile masterpiece
And watch as its detritus
Falls – plop! – onto my shoe
which somehow remains dim in unforgiving light.
WALK OF FAMER: Parkyakarkus
ENVIRONMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS: Star is situated in the driveway of a shady parking lot that charges $25.00 and is full of potholes
LOS ANGELES (Losanjealous) ::
Losanjealous has just received notice that the creeptastic LA Marathon Mural on the 10 Freeway near National is Still There at press time, 12/28/2006.
Expected by drivers every single day of its existence to have been either mercifully whitewashed or fully covered by the rampant MOMO-inspired graffiti which drapes it like so much ivy, Year 2026 (Kent Twitchell, 1990 R. Fauve, 1994) has once again surprised the entire city with extraordinary resilience in what may yet prove to be the longest-running marathon in existence. Tune in tomorrow for another update.
One of many, 3rd @ Fairfax. What could he mean? Anyone?
Visit our concert calendar for a full show list, links to buy tickets and our top picks.
PICK OF THE WEEK: Flaming Lips @ USC Galen Center
Goddammit, what a great year. If I could pick any band to cap it off at a New Year’s Eve party it would be, without question, the Flaming Lips. Balloons, confetti, singing nuns, animals dancing with Santas, man-sized hamster-balls, fake blood…a Lips concert is the ultimate childrens party for adults. And Giant Village isn’t running the show this year so the event won’t be cancelled at the last minute and the bands will get paid.
THIS WEEK’S TICKET GIVEAWAYS
 OOHLAS [Listen] The Echo Friday, December 29 [ ENTER TO WIN ] |
 FLAMING LIPS [Listen] USC Galen Center Sunday, New Year’s Eve [ ENTER TO WIN ] |
 CHAVEZ [Listen] Spaceland Sunday, New Year’s Eve [ ENTER TO WIN ] |
 POP LEVI [Listen] The Echo Sunday, New Year’s Eve [ ENTER TO WIN ] |
please include your full name when entering
HEADS UP
Prefuse 73 @ The Airliner Wed 12/27
Brian Wilson @ Malibu Performing Arts Center Mon 1/29 & Wed 1/31
Paul Weller @ Avalon Mon 2/5 (third show added)
Sebadoh @ Troubadour Fri 3/9
Books @ Malibu Performing Arts Center Sun 4/22
TUESDAY
Bright Light Fever @ Safari Sam’s
»continue reading Losanjealous Concert Picks: December 26 – 31
Alright, here’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Of course we weren’t going to let you down for New Year’s. So how should we give these to you? One thing’s certain, we wouldn’t ask you loyal readers to whore yourselves out for us. At least not during the holidays. Plus DeMarco’s banked enough accumulated whoring to keep us satisfied til at least Groundhog’s Day. So how about this then:
The Flaming Lips were recently honored with the dedication of their very own street, Flaming Lips Alley, in their native OKC.
Using this news as the premise, your task is to come up with a Los Angeles version of the dedication of a street for a Los Angeles band/singer/songwriter, in a particular Los Angeles neighborhood.
Send an e-mail to us at NYE-contest@losanjealous.com with the following:
1) The Los Angeles band/artist
2) The Los Angeles street/neighborhood
3) The new street name
4) Your full name
Entries will be judged on the appropriateness and creativity on the combination of band/artist + old street/neighborhood + new street name. Good luck.
Contest has ended. Thanks to all that entered. Feel free to keep listing your ideas for L.A. band/street name ideas in the comments.
HOLLYWOOD (Losanjealous) :: Friday’s Grove Xmas-ness rocketed just before the buzzer, ultimately surpassing the believed-to-be unbreakable Xmas level reached in 2004. Xmas levels are expected to fluctuate during off-Xmas hours , ultimately peaking at 4pm Saturday, Pacific Standard Time, before petering into a somewhat normalized Xmas is fucking over flatline.
Left: Xmas Seen At All-Time-Fucking High
Christmas Morning, Santa Ana, CA 1959
Who is the creative design genius that was able to get their half-flocked Christmas tree to blend into the wallpaper? That is not an easy effect to achieve! This Slide was marked “Janet’s first look at Santa’s Gifts.†The life-like, wide-blue eyed plastic toddler in full make up, formally dressed, rubber-faced, stuffed plushie man-dog and a deluxe dollhouse with all the trimmings are all wonderful gifts. But what I want to know is which one sent a signal to her brain that then sent a signal to her hands to reach down and give herself a reverse Melvin?
HAPPY HOLIDAZE!
Charles Phoenix
Visit Charles’ site or join his Slide of the Week Mailing List.
Happy Christmas (War Is Over). A shot of the band after the jump.
»continue reading Spaceland on Ice: Los Abandoned @ Pershing, 12/21/06
There’s something in the air. ‘Tis the magic season wee Angelenos, boys and girls alike, wait for all year. Finally the morning arrives. After a fitful sleep they rise extra early, fresh-faced and twinkly-eyed. They grab a cup of joe and a smoke, get strapped into their carseats and are unceremoniously hauled by mom and dad over to Hancock Park to stare in amazement at the House of Christmas® David™s.
Let us take a few moments to side-by-side the changes in the annual decorum, then…
»continue reading House of Christmas® David™s: A Two-Year Analysis
Dear Daily News,
It’s not you. It’s me. But our relationship has to stop. I can’t have you showing up at my doorstep at four o’clock each morning. I told my fiancee our relationship was over, and she’s getting upset.
Please don’t think I haven’t tried, Daily News. I did.
I remember the chilly day we met last year. A burly man with a name tag that read “Bud” called out to me. Daily News, he said, $24 for 12 months.
“And it comes with a $10 gift card,” said Bud. “So cheap, you don’t even have to read it.”
I remember laughing, Daily News. But then I felt bad that someone would sell you so short. You are clearly worth far more, and I wonder if that has affected your self-esteem.
I appreciated your local coverage and your jaunty red and blue masthead. I think your sports columnists are superior to those of the LA Times, and I like the fact that I can read you in 25 minutes, the time it takes for my Metrolink train to whisk me downtown.
But no more. We had three newspapers at the time: the LA Times, the NY Times and the Daily News. We were overwhelmed. Stacks of newsprint gathered in our home like an illustration in a Shel Silverstein poem.
»continue reading The Daily Dump
The man-in-the-middle for the pre-game huddle.
Good form on his free throw shooting up to this point. But everything after this freeze frame could use a little work.
»continue reading UCLA’s Lorenzo Mata: In Pictures
Victor’s subtle masterpiece The Grove Parking Structure, 12/20/05 became a zeitgeist of its age, heralding the hopelessness of the congestion at the corner of Third and Fairfax while providing the viewer with unequivocal proof that Victor himself was a part of the problem, attempting entry into aforementioned at the time of capture . . .
UPDATE: Having learned nothing from last year’s battle, Victor returned to the site to face the beast again. He photographed this 2006 version at 6:39 p.m. today.
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