COSTCO CULVER CITY
By MFV - Tuesday January 30th 2007 |
Tweet |
Costco Warehouse No. 479 is located on 13463 Washington Blvd., Lat: 33.99116 (N 33°59.470′) (N 33°59’28.2″) (WGS 84 datum) Lon:-118.44612 (W118°26.767′) (W118°26’46.0″). It boasts a large paddle inductive and Avcon conductive EV charging station three sizes too small to accommodate the West Side Prius population, and has a large fossil fuel pump station for members (ten cents off per gallon). You can find parking by driving into oncoming flows of traffic and honking (like a jerk, if possible).
Enjoy a delicious hot dog, polish sausage, chicken Caesar or slice of pizza before you ever become a member. And once you become a member, go inside or just loiter among the shopping carts. The secret? Options.
Costco Culver City is large and inviting, too large to be appreciated by anyone or anything. Like the girls at Spearmint Rhino, the high shelves clamor for your dollars by dancing and wriggling on poles set above the promenade. Behold, jewels and history books, three pound bags of Doritos, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. It’s all for the taking. One minute you’re hanging nose-to-nose with a pair of socks, and the next, there’s some dude jumping out at you with a toothpick of jalapeno sausage. I told you it was different. COSTCO BURBANK? Sausage guy sucked.
Now if you’re daring, here’s something you can do. Make your way cautiously past the entrance hucksters and their digital camera devices, avoiding eye contact at all times, to the appliances. You’ll catch yourself muttering, “If only I had that 50 inch Sony HDTV, I’d use it for a computer monitor!” Try it. If you run quickly into the mirror aisle, you can watch yourself subvocalize this statement before the buzz wears off.
Eventually, you will pour into a bigger defragmented retail-run-together chamber that defies analysis.
The COSTCO CULVER CITY security personnel traverse the parking lot in golf carts and are very friendly and well-traveled. I once offered my spare cigar to a cue ball headed SECURITAS worker and he gave me a hand-rolled Perdomo of chocolate-flavored tobacco grown in Nicaragua, which he produced from his security jacket. True!
PARTING GLANCE: Costco Culver City shepherds Hollywood Video, Subway, and Starbucks No. 665 like a big ram protecting its ewes.
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: a stern look or impassive wave of the hand may fool the doorman, but you need at least a Gold Member Card to buy anything.
Whelp. That’s Costco Culver City. See it from space. OO
Typical yellow journalism, MFV. We’ve got sausage guys over here that do triple backflips for a sip of Pepsi. Jeece.
you forgot to mention the chicken bake. how on earth can you refer to costco and not mention the chicken bake? Your journalistic integrity is on the line here buddy.
And uh, Costco Optical…? Even I go there, and I’m a store. You’re slipping, ace…
i don’t think you were direct enough in explaining just how horrible that parking lot is. there’s an albertson’s (that’s the big roof on the right of the photo) in addition to all that other stuff (as well as an in-n-out burger, verizon and some bank). there are only two entrances/exits and they both spill onto washington. i used to live a few blocks away and i would never, never drive there. walk, skateboard, bike … but never car. it still makes me shiver thinking about it.
Let’s forget Costco. Happy Birthday to Ron [REDACTED]. (Thank you, Plaxo.)
I seem to like all of MFV’s posts. This is my local Costco (im not a member) and sometimes I go along with friends. I just give them cash for whatever I want to buy, which usually is a lot more than I think it will be while I go along sneeringly. The checkers look at me like an inner city kid that some westside yuppie took along for “how white people do things” day or something– and i’m white! So, if you don’t want to be looked at like a 2nd class citizen I suggest you settle up your bill with your friend outside of the store. Or plunk down for a membership. My philosophy: pay $100 a year to end up spending $300 every trip on shit you dont need? Paying to blow your money; we’re living in the future people.
Andy, since you are local to that area, you should write up Antica Pizzaria!