Have you heard? The MisShapes are coming! On Thursday, March 8 to LA, that is. Well not exactly LA, but Orange County. To Shark Club in Costa Mesa, to be exact. It’s only an hour and a half down the 405 on a weeknight–a small price to pay to be in their company, if you ask me!

If you live under a rock and don’t know who & what MisShapes is, they’re only the coolest DJs (The MisShapes) who throw the coolest weekly party in NYC (MisShapes). It only makes sense that LoveLeigh, Greg.K and the other guy are bringing their tunes and style to the coolest city in the OC. I’m sorry, but the style of the MisShapes kids makes our own Club Bang kids look like a bunch of Physics Club rejects!

Ladies especially should take note, for the event flyer promises:

An evening to tantalize and entice your restless soul, featuring an exclusive beauty lounge to pamper the ladies in the house

Even cooler still, the party is an exclusive event presented by Camel No. 9 cigarettes. If you live under a rock, Camel No. 9 cigarettes are only the coolest new cigarettes that all the kids are smoking these days. They’re light & luscious and come in this sexy black box with fuchsia and teal trim. So you can get your tickets to the big MisShapes Costa Mesa party through your local Camel rep. (You do know your local Camel rep., right? I have mine on speed-dial!)

UPDATE: It turns out that Shark Club’s website has printable tickets to the event, in case you want to skip the Camel rep. thing. (But do be sure to check out Camel No. 9 cigarettes!) Here’s the ticket for you to print:

On This Day in 1939, ‘Dord’ was discovered to be a made-up word in the dictionary. Unsurprisingly, traffic responded accordingly this morning by dording every major 10 freeway artery in sight. From the knowledgebase:

On July 31, 1931, Austin M. Patterson, Webster’s chemistry editor sent in a slip reading “D or d, cont./density.” This was intended to add “density” to the existing list of words that the letter “D” can abbreviate. The slip somehow went astray, and the phrase “D or d” was misinterpreted as a single, run-together word: dord. (This was a plausible mistake because headwords on slips were typed with spaces between the letters, making “D or d” look very much like “D o r d”.) A new slip was prepared for the printer and a part of speech assigned along with a pronunciation. The word got past proofreaders and appeared on page 771 of the dictionary around 1934.

Some years later…

On February 28, 1939, an editor noticed “dord” lacked an etymology and investigated. Soon an order was sent to the printer marked “plate change/imperative/urgent”. The word “dord” was excised and the definition of the adjacent entry “Dore furnace” was expanded from “A furnace for refining dore bullion” to “a furnace in which dore bullion is refined” to close up the space. Gove wrote that this was “probably too bad, for why shouldn’t dord mean ‘density’?”

Above: Residents seethe at morning gridlock and ponder ways to casually slip “dord” into a conversation today.

“It is so incredibly ’80’s in here!!!”

. . .is something Starry did not say the knight of February 21th, 2007. But it was, incredibly, 8:00pm as your Starriness stood outside freezing her buns off (which by the way look fabulous after six weeks of eating nothing but basil and steam.)

I know a lot of you are thinking, Starry what the hell are you doing showing up for anything before 4:15 am? Let me whip out my CrackBerry and regul8te:

Marie Claire Magazine Model Search Party

Wednesday Night @ Mood in Hollywood
Special Appearance by Beauty Editor: Didi Gluck

Yes, dear reader, that Didi Gluck. As in the Didi Gluck who predicted the must-have beauty product of 2004 was going to be “YSL Touche Eclat.” And what was your fashion-forward choice? I’m going to guess “toothpaste.” Starry was ready for any question Didi might ask. . .

D: What jeans are you wearing?
S: Paradise Eter9ity. Size fractal. $1,730 at Nordstrom.

D: Wow! They look great on you. You must hate eating!
S: Why aren’t we best friends?

D: Ha ha ha, soon! Tell us, Starry, what makes you so over the top???
S: Sweetheart. . .I’ve been over a lot of tops! What can I say? Rent’s on the first, chicos, make it LAA-aaast.

D: Ha ha ha etc. . .

Whew. It’s gonna be fresssssh. When it actually happens. Speaking of fresssssh, Starry makes an exception when those bad boyz write:
»continue reading Marie Claire in the Heezzee!!!

Above: Re-enactment soundstage. Professional actors. This is not ‘Samosa Mel’

When my mother found out I had finally taken the plunge and waxed my underarms and legs, her first question was, “Who did you go to?” When I told her I’d gone to the lady that works in the back of my local nail parlor, she was less than approving. The leg hairs ARE going a bit unevenly, but I’ve heard this is to be expected. When the conversation moved to bikini waxing, she told me that there is only one place in town to go: Sylvia at Sweet Dreams on Ventura Blvd. According to her, it’s the best ‘Brazilian’ in town.

I have avoided waxing this particular area for a few reasons. First of all, it’s a sensitive area. Slathering wax on one’s outer labia and yanking out all the hair doesn’t sound like a good time. Secondly, I don’t care for the look of a waxed crotch–it sort of creeps me out. Aesthetically, I am a strong supporter of the “70’s bush”.

There is one reason for waxing that I find rather compelling…hygiene. I’ve been told that the ‘Brazilian’–removing ALL the hair from ‘down there’– leaves you feeling unbelievably clean. Now, I am a bit of a clean freak and I’m a sucker for any product that claims to freshen my linens, kill germs anywhere and everywhere, remove odors from my carpet or pull pollution from my pores. Keeping a tidy snatch seems logical enough.
»continue reading Sweet Dreams: Wax On, Wax Off

PICK OF THE WEEK
March 3, 2007
Every once in awhile, the stars align and we Losanjealenos receive an embarrassment of riches of sure-to-be great shows all landing on a one night. This Saturday, 3/3/07, is one such occasion. From Nels Cline to Midlake to Malajube to Annuals to Digweed & MSTRKRFT to Dandy Warhols to Snow Patrol to Vic Chestnutt to Jack Elliott, you really can’t go wrong this Saturday.

ANNUALS [MySpace] @ Spaceland Saturday March 3 ENTER TO WIN	MALAJUBE [official site] @ Echo Saturday March 3 Contest entry closed; winners will be notifed shortly
Winners receive a pair of tickets. Please include your full name when entering.

Inspired by the promise of free Arby’s Curly Fries for America, Matt Kenseth defended his Auto Club 500 title Sunday at California Speedway.

And as outlined in their Matt’s Monday promotion, Arby’s will give away free medium Curly Fries on Monday.

“Matt has extra incentive to win for America,” said Chris Kuehn, Senior Vice President of National Marketing, Arby’s Restaurant Group, Inc. “We’re expecting a lot of Matt’s Monday celebrations and plan to give away plenty of Curly Fries.”

“I’ve been a fan of Arby’s since I was a kid and Curly Fries are a big favorite,” said Matt Kenseth. “This motivates me to bring it home for the fans.”

»continue reading Kenseth, Curly Fries Lovers Win at Auto Club 500

»continue reading Grizzly Bear @ Troubadour, 2/21/07

Above: Master of Ceremonies B. Fortuna keeps the crowd in stitches at the Kodak Theatre

I missed the Oscars last year due to being outside in nature. My mistake. This year I began preparing for the big event in advance. I turned the TV to HBO Zone West promptly at 3pm to follow all of the pre-Oscar action as it unfolded before my very eyes. Then I began liveblogging. Latest entries are at the bottom of the page. Refresh the page continually for the latest updates!

3pm
Holy shit why is Star Wars on. Kenobi just showed up and spooked the sandmen…

415pm
Fell fast asleep.

537pm
Woke up. The saga continues….

Hawaiian Punch, Fullerton, 1962

Six seniors have just returned home from a tour of the Hawaiian Punch factory. Each shows off a complimentary can of the fantasy fruit-flavored and colored virgin cocktail. One of them snagged two cans. He is the only one smiling. All but one wears the Hawaiian Punch factory souvenir hat in the normal position with the exception of Miss Floral Print, on the right, who sports her hat side saddle. Did one tourist call the others requesting that only blue, brown or white be worn for the exotic excursion? Color coordinating with friends for a day trip always makes the experience much better and far more memorable!
»continue reading Charles Phoenix’s Slide of the Week: Hawaiian Punch, Fullerton, 1962

The Losanjealous Benevolent Society gathers a weekly list of strange happenings and fun events in LA–the more ridiculous, the better. Visit our events calendar for the full list. And if you’re organizing or know of an event you think belongs on the list, send us info at tips@losanjealous.com.

FRIDAY

Dwarf Basketball
Rosemead High School is hosting a benefit basketball game. Come and see a celebrated team of dwarf basketball players team up against the faculty and staff from the high school.

Second Annual 67th Annual Fake Awards @ Fake Gallery
If you see only one awards show this season it’ll probably be the Oscars, but if you’re not doing anything on the Friday before the Oscars check out The Second Annual 67th Annual Fake Awards! Come see your favorite fake celebrities recieve fake awards for the fake movies of 2006! All attendees will recieve a fake gift bag worth the price of the bag. The Fake Awards! Fake Winners! Real Losers!

»continue reading Losanjealous Benevolent Society Events: Feb 23 - Mar 1

»continue reading Papercuts @ Troubadour, 2/21/07

I’ve been out-of-pocket after too many post Dub Club street-meat excursions….but I’m finally back making sure our loyal readers out there are not only well humored by our witty horseplay but informed on some of the best all-nightly happenings. Artists continually try to hide behind pseudonyms and alter egos but rest assured that we here at ‘losanjealous’ are on the job…abet part-time… Detroit inspired producer Mathew Dear (aka. Audion) is state-side at King King this Friday night. I could go on and on using words like innovator, luminary and shit like that. Just make sure you check it. I’ve never gotten the chance to give props to LA techno ultra stalwarts Droidbehaviour either but this Saturday night they present Prototype 909 for some hardcore old-school synth madness Believe it.. This weekend is going to be brilliant and finish it off by curling up and watching the Oscars on Sunday…checking into rehab with Britney on Monday…o.no.u.didn’t!

If this were an episode of Gray’s Anatomy, you’d find me waking up on a Saturday morning in bed with Dr. Yang or Dr. Torres or Preston Burke naked and screaming “SERIOUSLY?” at the camera while Dido or Psapp played over my Hallmark Card musings and my beeper blows up while we cut to Bailey screaming “Where is that stupid intern? I need her here STAT.”

Instead, Saturday morning finds me waking up face down on my couch in my boots with writing all over my arm and my dog sleeping on my legs. I have vague memories of someone driving my car home the night before and either I decided to go get an enormous tattoo of the Aurora Borealis above my right knee, or I may have been kicked in the leg by a donkey. My phone has been ringing repeatedly for the last 20 minutes and in my Meredith Gray moment, I sit up on the couch, knocking the dog to the ground and say “SERIOUSLY? How did I get so drunk last night? I only had 3 beers!” Instead of Dido, though, an infomercial with Erik Estrada encouraging me to buy land at a vacation resort in Wisconsin is BLARING from the TV.

61 missed calls…ugh. I answer. It’s LaVerne and she’s going apeshit because I changed the alarm code at the Losanjealous building. Apparently Ryan and Victor have already been detained by our own rent-a-cops for typing the wrong code in 6 times.
»continue reading Yo Majesty @ The Echo

Cast your mind back to the mid- to late-1980s, a time when all the big players were coked out of their minds. Ivan Boesky. Max Headroom. Tommy Lasorda. And not just celebs, either. My great-grandma was always on the blow. Ditto my fourth-grade teacher Mrs. Felsch. Even the standard poodle my parents got me when my other dog got run over by a dump truck. Everyone.

Now imagine that you’re a local SoCal electronics store with only five locations and you want to make a splash. What better way to do this than to hook yourself up with a local radio DJ whose manic style meshes perfectly with the cultural zeitgeist of the time?

This is the backstory of Federated, and more specifically of Fred Rated, who was the ad-spokesman brainchild of the aforementioned Eureka moment. Federated’s commercials were driven largely by their star, DJ-turned-telepersonality Shadoe Stevens. His Fred Rated character emanated a frenetic absurdity that was perfect for the whacked-out materialism of the age.
»continue reading L.A. Vintage Commercials: Fred Rated

Gui Rim: The Instruction Manual
3977 W 6th Street
Koreatown

1. Find self at corner of Western and 6th
2. With at least $14.99 plus tax and tip in pocket
3. Enter Gui Rim Korean BBQ Establishment
4. Traditional BBQ Eaters choose “Option A” for succulent bulgogi, galbi, tongue, pork belly, etc
5. Bourdain types choose “Option B” for heart, tripe, intestine, “all the other shit”
6. Type “A” and “B” choosers alike: enjoy respectable array of panchan, briefly
7. Eat as many plates of meat (and/or tripe) as humanly possible
8. Consider beer
9. Prepare system for immediate onset of postprandial sedation
10. Retire to couch
11. Sleep 4.5 hrs, repeat

This instruction manual is also available as a downloadable PDF which may be printed and taken to the restaurant if desired. Download the PDF here

Special Bonus Photo Section
Gui Rim: The Frontage | Gui Rim: The Unnecessary KimChi Close-up

Anybody notice what’s wrong with this picture? No?

Well, I don’t really know what Philly did to deserve this kind of abuse.

A picture of the Brooklyn Bridge at a Philly cheesesteak joint? The fucking WTC? In place of the Philadelphia skyline? Why don’t you just paint somebody pissing on the Liberty Bell in the bottom lefthand corner? Why don’t you have a graffiti-rendering of Benjamin Franklin with a ball gag? This is ridiculous. This is like going into a “Twin Cities Diner” and seeing a picture of the Quad City DJ’s. Or a South Philly taco truck called “San Diego Tacos” with a huge picture of the Hollywood sign on its side. If you can buy San Diego tourists in South Philly, can you imagine their outrage? Sadly, this reinforces many of the “what outside world?” stereotypes people have of Los Angelenos. Is Los Angeles truly destined to be the next “hermit kingdom”? Recent commenters of the month may pick up on that reference.

Of course, if the cheesesteaks were any good, I would certainly fix my tone. But the best steaks I’ve ever had in L.A. were at the Detour Fest. And, just like Luke Skyywalker: I Ain’t Bullshittin’. Its the same stand that was at Coachella, and it has the most authentic Philly-style steaks I’ve yet tasted in Socal. If they have a brick-and-mortar in L.A., someone please make it known. If you must, though:

Philly Steak
1551 Ocean Ave. (entrance on Colorado)
Santa Metallica, CA 90401
310/434-9668