The Frank Stallone Signature Roundtable

The most recent meeting of the Losanjealous Board of Directors took place at Frankie and Johnnie’s Pizza, west Sunset Strip. If you’ve never been to Frankie and Johnnie’s, you should know that all manner of celebs and pseudo-celebs have markered up the walls with quasi-witty aphorisms about pizza accompanied by quasi-legible signatures. While you sit and longingly caress Mandy Moore’s name, a sign near the cash register keeps the peace by advising “DO NOT SIGN THE WALL WITHOUT PERMISSION.”

We scour the walls now over beers and penne pizza, searching for the most absurdly foolish name in sight. Who’s been here?!?

“Dog the Bounty Hunter, solid entry” …

“Who the hell’s this dude with ‘Girls Gone Wild’ scrawled under his name?” …

“Hey man – over here. That’s Frank Stallone, man.” …

“Where?” …

“Get the hell ou…THAT IS FRANK STALLONE.” …

“How the hell would you even know Frank Stallone is in your establishment?”…

“Hey speaking of. Whatever happened to that Frank Stallone Across America tour travelogue we were supposedly getting?” …

“No idea…I think that tour didn’t happen at all. Like the guy sent out an e-mail the day the tour was slated to begin, saying that he guesses it didn’t actually begin. He thinks Frank Stallone may have made the whole thing up.” …

“That’s just too perfect for words.”

“14 cities. It was supposed to start in Jersey – wait, Manhattan – ending in Reno” …

“How do you suppose he got his name up on the wall…Did he come in and tell people who he was? ‘Cause you’ve pretty much gotta let people know you are Frank Stallone” …

“He looks over to the girl at the cash register. He asks to sign like so…(air-script hand motion traditionally indicating patron is asking for check). Few minutes later the waitress says: ‘I looked over at him and he motioned for the check, so I nodded. When I walked to the table with his check, he was signing the wall!’ …

“Naw naw man. This is how it went down. Whisper campaign throughout the place. Stallone is nowhere in sight but you hear these rumblings. These mumblings. ‘Stallone is in the house! STALLONE is in the establishment. He’s here!’ Floor manager without verifying immediatly greenlights it. ‘Get Mister Stallone a magic marker, pronto’ …They deliver the marker to the person in the dark jacket near the wall. When the person turns away from the wall, it’s Frank Stallone to everybody’s shock. “Thank You Very Much. From Frank Stallone.” …

“He could actually own the place, it is Frankie and Johnnie’s”…

“Hell no if he owned this place it would be called Frank Stallone and Johnnie’s…

“I don’t understand why Frank Stallone dotted the “i” twice, and Dog the Bounty Hunter addresses Frankie as ‘Franco’. These things, I do not understand” …

“I think I could add ‘& La Verne’ next to Mandy Moore” …

Previously on Frank Stallone:
Stallone: Does His Pudding Make You Beefier?
Stallone to Punch, Sign Books At Grove Barnes and Gravy