Can’t get enough of that trademark Losanjealous Sass™? Take heart, denizen: Our full South by Southwest 2007 repository is now online. You’ll find free food recaps, art discussions, general foolishness and tons of great photos by Jeannette and Jenn that you probably haven’t seen yet. If you get bored, take a peek.

Of note: We’re still adding content to the page, so don’t consider it a finished product at this point in time. This is just our polite way of saying, “We know you are sick and fucking tired of hearing about Austin already, and although we haven’t finished decompressing and writing about it, we’ll keep it out of your face.”

Here’s your link to the goods.

Covina Bowl, Covina, 1955

This is the moment of ignition. A small, controlled flame is sucked in a post lunch cigarette pursed between the red lips of a space age suburban matron. Her black and white tweed suit is as sensible as it is smart. And that double rose head ornament is as unexpected as it is outstanding.
»continue reading Charles Phoenix’s Slide of the Week: Covina Bowl, Covina, 1955

Two lines out the door
Which one is P-we? (That’s Her!)
Harmonic poundings

SPECIAL BONUS SENRYU:

Echo’s night of Zen
Boredoms chick with friends in tow
Thrill Jockey label

Luscious Jackson gal
Waxed about The Days of Yore
I yawned more than once

The Losanjealous Benevolent Society gathers a weekly list of strange happenings and fun events in LA–the more ridiculous, the better. Visit our events calendar for the full list. And if you’re organizing or know of an event you think belongs on the list, send us info at tips@losanjealous.com.

FRIDAY

Cadillac Beach (Limited Edition) @ Machine Project
Cadillac Beach (Limited Edition) is a musical installation consisting of manipulated whale recordings, custom built sound systems and three Cadillac Escalades. Nearby tiny seagulls sing out of used styrofoam coffee cups, transplanting an oceanic experience to the sidewalk and the gallery. Through Sat 3/31.

Golden West USA Table Tennis Tournament
Santa Monica College - which has had a long and interesting history in the world of Ping-Pong - will host the Golden West USA Table Tennis Tournament. The tournament will also feature a short ceremony celebrating the 36th anniversary of U.S.-China “Ping-Pong Diplomacy” that opened the doors for diplomatic relations between the two countries in 1971. Through Sun 4/1.

»continue reading Losanjealous Benevolent Society Events: March 30 - April 5

My friends, we are in a serious giveaway gravy here at the at HQ of late. It must be the spring weather. If you didn’t win those coveted TV on the Radio / Noisettes tickets Victor threw at you a couple of days ago, see how this grabs you:

We’re sending two people to the Greek to watch Sonic Youth perform their seminal album Daydream Nation in its entirety this July. Daydream Nation, here at the Greek! Holy sweet semi-precious striped pantalones dipped in a butter toffee and rolled in pecans. That’s all I can say, truly.

The Pitch
Write a brief story as to why you deserve this prize more than any other Sonic Youth fan out there. Make us laugh. Make us cry. Make us laugh while crying. Entertain us. Send your submission to sonicyouth@losanjealous.com, taking care to include your full name and applicable contact information (e-mail preferred). All submissions will be considered by our judges, regardless of length. In other words, content is king.

The Reward
The winning entry will receive one pair of tickets and two limited edition posters made for the show date at the Greek Theatre on July 20th. (!!!!!)

The Deadline
Your entry is due no later than April 15, 2007 at midnight. Unlike the IRS, we offer no extensions.

Not feeling lucky?
Buy your tickets from Ticketmaster today (presale password: DAYDREAM).
Public on-sale begins this Saturday at 10am. Purchase tickets here.

GOOD LUCK!

32 Balls: $2
15 minutes: $10
30 minutes: $17
60 minutes: $30
90 minutes: $45
Smashing a line drive through the back window: $100 (and worth every cent)

Baseball Central
1858 S. La Cienega Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90035
(310) 559-9782

Like a Phoenix he rises suddenly, staring agelessly at San Vicente and La Brea.

I am Shack!
Attention, Traffic!
Attention, Los Angeles!
Attention…World!
Especially Attention, Out-Of-Control SUVs:
Fuck You! For I am Shack! And
This Be Mine Place In The World!
To This, I Am Resigned!
To This, I Am Committed!

Parris Patton never learned to play the piano. But it wouldn’t befit the artist to just take lessons and be done with it. No sir. To work through his aggression, Parris found it necessary to freeze an antique piano inside of a 13-ton block of ice, spend an entire day and evening hacking away at it with a number of sharp metal implements, and aimed to send it off to piano heaven by setting the traumatized instrument ablaze, appropriately dubbing the project “Because I Can’t Be Beethoven.”

Naturally, witnessing such a ridiculous and completely unnecessary endeavor seemed a good way to spend my Saturday night.
»continue reading “Because I Can’t Be Beethoven” @ Dangerous Curve

You sat there, and waited.
When were we going to try it? Maybe tomorrow.
You sat there, and waited.
The leaves turned green to brown then back to green again.
You sat there, and waited.
We’d look up at the sign and chuckle about future memories.

You waited no more.

Good bye Cuchi Cuchi, you waited patiently for us on the corner of Hollywood and Edgemont, but we took for granted the fickle nature that is fine dining in Los Angeles. You will be missed.

A moment of silence please.
…

Cuchi Cuchi
?-2007

Nice little midweek giveaway we have here–a pair of tickets to check out the Noisettes when they open for TV On The Radio this Friday, 3/30 at the Henry Fonda.

Noisettes are a punky U.K. trio on the rise, making their U.S debut on the TVOTR tour. They rock and are quite possibly the best of the current crop of bands with names ending in “-ettes.” (Apologies to the lovely Pipettes and LA’s own Ettes.)

Their record is out on 4/17 and they’ll be back here for Coachella, so here’s a chance to really get the jump on them early. Check out a video here and a streaming track here.

Contest entry is closed. Winners will be notified shortly, so watch your e-mail if you entered. If you’re a winner, we’ll need you to reply with your address immediately to get these tickets out to you.

I just moved to LA and I need a living room. Nothing fancy, preferably in the Mid-Wilshire area near the Red Line. I’m responsible, don’t smoke, and I play the flute (at reasonable hours). References available upon request.

Situated just off the Virgil/Silverlake/Temple/Beverly mindfuck, has wisely chosen a reversed, all-caps bold on its brown façade. Specifically, they’ve opted for Lithos Black for the English speakers. You may recall Lithos, designed by the inimitable Carol Twombly (yes that Carol Twombly…Myriad, anyone?) for Adobe in 1989, as being the system font widely misunderstood (and misused) as Something Junglish throughout the 1990s.

Lithos = Jungle Safari? This is simply not the case, font lovers. The font is as Greek as they come. So why is it considered a jungle font? Blame Universal Studios’ Jurassic Park vessel, if you want to start pointing fingers. This is Lithos. And this is Neuland, a very similar typeface with very similar Grecian overtones. The 1993 marketing blitz for Jurassic Park plastered the movie’s name in Neuland onto every possible item that wasn’t nailed down, if you’ll recall, and the aftermath of said brand pummelling found poor Lithos lumped in with the Neuland crowd, for good. For all its noble beginnings Lithos was, frankly, too damned similar to Neuland to be discerned as a separate face by the layman.
»continue reading Fontwatch: Coffee Garden (Symbols) Sanjang: A Lithos Discussion (In Brief)

I was given the task of seeing The Joffrey Ballet through modern eyes. And I’m not going to lie, I intended to bag on it no matter how good it was, because I don’t usually go in for ballet.

But some IDIOT at the LA Times did that for me.

So let me come to Joffrey’s defense.

“Les Presages” was their first act, and to be honest, typical of a ballet about society and villainy and all that. Nice costumes and dancing, but for my money, they could have been ice skating — I wasn’t too interested. I was, however, interested in John Gluckman, a very limber and theatrical talent who played Aquaman’s Evil Brother. (I don’t know who he was supposed to be.) He ate up the floor with unpredictable karate kicking elegance and expert timing. And my girlfriend said he had a nice body.
»continue reading Joffrey Ballet, 3/22-24/07, Music Center

Past my initial disappointment that there were no new tie designs for fall 2007, Fashion Week LA has been interesting to say the least. In the fashion world, LA has been relegated to be the bastard red-headed step child.; despite our tantrums we only get bemused scoffs and patronizing pats on the heads.

Kicking off fashion week was Gen Art’s New Garde show at Ivar Studios in Hollywood. Gen Art has been the vanguard of emerging fashion talent, and this time around was no exception. Showing their wares were three up and coming talents Alms, Mintee and Hazel Brown. Giving a synopsis of the fashion front will be Ensign Lisa. Ensign Lisa is a new recruit in my fleet, as her skills to take a burlap sack and wear it like a Galliano gown are know the Empire over.

Enter Ensign Lisa:
»continue reading Fashion Week LA 2007: Gen Art’s New Garde