Losanjealous Book Festival Picks: April 28-29
You’ve probably heard that the set times have been announced for this weekend’s big event. I am referring, of course, to the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books, taking place at UCLA over Saturday and Sunday. Below, you will find our editorial picks for which discussion panels you should attend. Match these up against the program guide and you will know where to be and at what time. –Ed.
Saturday 
10:00 am
The Great American Novel:
What Font To Use?
10:30 am
Is The Novel Dead?
11:00 am
Is The Author Dead?
11:30 am
Is The Reader Dead?
12:00 pm
Book Fair Panels: Proper Placement of Microphones and Water Bottles
1:00 pm
Short Stories: How Short Is Too Short?
2:00 pm
How to Write Good
2:30 pm
Q&A with Thomas Pynchon
3:00 pm
Spell Check: Pros and Cons
3:30 pm
Book Fair Panels: How to Monopolize the Q&A portion with Your Inane Questions
4:00 pm
How to Adapt Your Unwritten Novel into Your Unwritten Screenplay
Sunday
11:00 am
David Foster Wallace: On Brevity
11:30 am
Dianetics for Kids
12:00 pm
Writing Books vs. Reading Books: The Debate Rages On
12:30 pm
Hot Books to Be Seen Pretending to Read This Summer
1:00 pm
Finnegan’s Wake for Housewives
1:30 pm
The Da Vinci Code: Best. Book. Ever.
2:00 pm
How to Write “L.A. Fictionâ€: Sunshine, Traffic, Superficiality, Hollywood, blah, blah, blah…
2:30 pm
Christopher Hitchens: Asshole or Dickhead?
3:00 pm
End of Harry Potter: How to Cope
3:30 pm
Iraqi Fiction: Tales of Victory
4:00 pm
Book Jacket Headshots: Getting Your Serious But Sexy Pose Down
Brand Recognition for Toddlers
Target Tent
All day, Saturday and Sunday
I believe these discussion panels are on another list:
Saturday
10:09am
“How To Walk Out Of A Writing Discussion Group Like You’re Better Than They Are”
5:00pm
“Writing To Hit On Chicks: An Introclusion”
Sunday
4:32pm
“Wearing Black”
Saturday
9:00 am
Steve Wasserman In Conversation With Himself
(Special panel; lasts all weekend)
The Great American Novel should be printed in Aaron Cometbus’ scrawly handwritten font. That, or Pastor of Muppets. I’m not picky.
Nice…
Interesting…