Urban Camping in Los Angeles

the price is night!

We have, in this urban wilderness we call Los Angeles, several campgrounds where the price is night. People craft makeshift lean-tos right on the sidewalk, building temporary safehavens against the wild and the biting cold with the materials they have at their disposal.
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As with many national parks some locations are preferred over others, and availability is strictly on a first-come, first-serve basis. Such is the case here at the corner of Fairfax and Beverly. 2007 is the alleged last run of Bob Barker, after all, and the outlying campgrounds are bursting at the seams, night after neverending night. Today we’ll take a closer look at two specific campgrounds adjacent to the Columbia Broadcasting System, or ’The Eye’ to the layman…

Campground One:WaMu Creek. North of Beverly, east of Fairfax at Fairfax. Year-round availability. No running water. No electricity. No RVs. No boats. No septic. Tents and boxes only. Metro shelter subject to availability. No reservations.

Campground Two: CBS Flats. South of Beverly, east of Fairfax at Fairfax.
Barker-dependent availability. No running water. No electricity. No RVs. No boats. No septic. Tents and boxes only. Metro shelter subject to availability. No reservations. Queue strictly enforced by peer system.

Night after night both campgrounds spill over, unable to accommodate the deluge of hopefuls. But just who are these campers? What are they like? What are their hobbies? What are their dreams? Let us take a moment to side-by-side the traits and characteristics of a typical inhabitant of each of the two campgrounds. One waits for a game show taping; one waits for a drink and a lucky break. At the end of the day, maybe they’re not so different. We are, after all, only human and when night falls, we all commune with mother nature in similar fashion…

South of Beverly: CBS Flats:
The Seasonal Camper, or ’Snowbird’
North of Beverly: WaMu Creek:
The Year-Round Camper
Plays cards Smokes
Plays Scrabble Drinks
Plays Yahtzee Smokes. Then drinks.
Stares at passers-by with longing, hopeful eyes Stares at passers-by with longing, hopeful eyes
Wears sweatshirt adorned with glitter Wears sweatshirt adorned with glitter, topped with grime
Has not had shower today. Hopes to remedy situation in hotel soon. Has not had shower today. Does not hope to remedy any situation. What situation.
Leaves campground with flashlight and takes nature trail back to hotel to pee. Stands up to pee.
Unable to stop mumbling about ’Bob’ Unable to stop mumbling about ’Bob’
Considers practicality of buying one of the ’Make Your Own TPIR Tshirt’ kits from bagel shop on Fairfax. Said kit is comprised of one Hanes Beefy-T and three felt markers. Would consider buying quart of beer, if had any goddam money today
Knows exact price of one case of Kal Kan™ cat food Knows exact price of one case of Kal Kan™ cat food

the price is night
CBS Flats, 1am, 5/21/2007