Losanjealous Want Ads: Your Identity
WANTED: Legitimate identity and contact information for overseas business transaction
PURPOSE: Identity will be used to eventually split assload holy shitload of money with one col. Paul Bryant currently serving time in Germany for prisoner abuse
TIMELINE: Post-haste (assumed)
ASSURANCES: All the possible risk has been foreseen and taken care of.
Typically we receive these solicitations from the Nigerian sector and/or Goodness Damian, and more often than not we pay it little mind. However this one looks to be completely legit.
Subject: For your consideration, please.
From: “col. Paul Byrant” [redacted@yahoo.com]
Reply-to: “col. Paul Byrant” [redacted@yahoo.com]
To: tips @losanjealous.com
Date: Jun 2, 2007 3:39 AM
Subject: For your consideration, please.Dear Sir,
I have managed to sneak out this email to you from my confinement here in one of our military bases in Germany.My name is Col.Paul Byrant of The US Army. I was based in Iraq until recently,I was sent back to Germany because of the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal in which I was unfortunately implicated. I am still under House Arrest,pending the outcome of investigation.
During my sojourn in Iraq, I was able to successfully smuggle US$ 31.27m out of Iraq to a location in Europe. I reckoned that being a soldier I would not be in the best position to give a satisfactory account of how I came about such an amount of money.I could therefore not conclude the proccess of securing the money before I was apprehended as I was at a loss about into which account one could pay it and that is where your assistance comes in.
I have resolved to share the total sum with you in the fairest ratio that we shall both agree on as settlement for your own part of the deal.
Please,ponder over this and feed me back as I am in dire need of your assistance at this time.Please, send me your private contact info. in order to facilitate an easier and more private correspondence between us.
I must assure you that this will not expose you to any risk as all the possible risk has been foreseen and taken care of. I must also remind you that transaction of this magnitude and nature is to be handled carefully in order for both of us to be well protected. I shall send you more details as soon as I hear from you.I implore you to really consider this offer and feed me back. Also let me know how you wish to be settled for your role in the business.Please,reply to;[redacted@yahoo.com]. I await your response with much optimism.
Thanks in advance,
Best Regards
Paul Byrant(Col.)
If the above sounds like you, please remit credentials and applicable past grift history (success/failure ratio, length of time served, # times sucker-punched in alleys, references [parole officers, gang leaders, etc]) to TheGoodLife@losanjealous.com today. Let Losanjealous connect the dots between your identity and col. Paul Bryant today.
Your identity.
Our middleman skills.
col. Paul Bryant’s successfully smuggled $31.27m USD.
One winning combination.
Nice try, but too late, for I have already contacted Col. Paul Byrant. That $31.27 mil is all mine.
(Funny thing is, someone walking out of Iraq with $30+ mil is not all that far-fetched considering the Billions in U.S. cash that has been unaccounted for over there.)
Time out: was it Col.Paul Bryant?
…or col. Paul Bryant?
Need to know.
Neither–it was Col. Paul Byrant (note clever intentional r/y transposition to throw off the trail). But be it Byrant or Bryant, that $31.27 mil is mine.
jesus I didn’t even notice that.
it’s ok though: I started talking to this guy at noon today and he doesn’t appear to give a shit that I’ve been calling him by the wrong name all day. Still confident I can beat you to the $31.27m USD.
This kinda reminds me of an URGENT MASSAGE FROM MR GEORGE KOUMA that I recently received.
Now, I’m not too familiar with massages. Read into that what you will. But one thing I’m sure of is that “urgent” massages are illegal.
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