Someone in Los Angeles is Watching Because I Said So Right Now
The above unretouched screenshots, captured with cellphone, provide irrefutable proof that, in complete and utter defiance of logic and common sense, that someone, in Los Angeles, on Time Warner Digital Cable, is watching Because I Said So, the 2007 romantic comedy starring Mandy Moore and Diane Keaton, right now.
The plot of the early 2007 movie, such as I could make it out (I forced myself to watch in order to flesh out this news account) is as follows:
Diane Keaton (Annie Hall) is trying to set up her daughter Mandy Moore (A Walk To Remember), who is a pastry chef or caterer or something to do with food, with a guy because she (Mandy Moore) has had absolutely NO luck in love, and, early in the movie, even had sex with an uncirumcised (!) Black Guy (!!) she just just met (!!!), which serves to show in a not-at-all racist way just HOW sad she is when it comes to the guys. (Thankfully, though, they spare us the indignity of seeing the Black Guy and Mandy Moore in the same shot, only showing his feet through a doorway as he sleeps.) So the guy who Annie Hall is trying to her up with (using an online ad!) is a Nice Guy but just not the guy Mandy Moore finds for herself, who is also a Nice Guy, but is also an Arty Type, of which we are made aware because he has spiky hair and a cool tattoo on his hand. Meanwhile, Diane Keaton is falling in love with the dad from 7th Heaven and winds up getting married at the end and they all do a girly sing along at the wedding at the end. Oh I forgot: first, the Arty Guy bursts into Mandy Moore’s kitchen where she is teaching a cooking class and he’s all “But what if you want to make this recipe for two?” And they get back together. Then the students all applaud and are happy, including an older lesbian couple, who kiss, for added comic relief. The hot mama from Gilmore Girls is the Sensible Older Daughter who is a psychiatrist and some other actress is the Other Sister, I forget what her deal was.
NOW, before accusing your reporter of being Said Person in Los Angeles who is watching Because I Said So on Time Warner Digital Cable right now–obviously these images were captured on yours truly’s TV–I should clarify that Because I Said So appeared on my TV through the known phenomenon of QAM (quadrature amplitude modulation) tuner signal bleed-through. In a nutshell, my TV’s HD tuner on occasion pulls down the On Demand and Pay Per View broadcasts of other Time Warner Digital Cable subscribers on random channels in the 100s. Furthermore, you can even see those viewers fast-forwarding through the movies, which is always fun. (In case you were wondering, no, you aren’t the only one that skips right to Michelle Borth’s nude scenes in HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me.)
So, given the above, it is all the more distressing that someone in Los Angeles is watching Because I Said So ON DEMAND. Meaning, it is not being watched passively, say, on a lazy Saturday at 2 pm, on Lifetime, because you can’t get out of bed, hungover, maybe even still a little drunk, BUT that someone, in Los Angeles, is actively choosing to watch Because I Said So, right now, on Time Warner Digital Cable.