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I Am Sick And Tired Of Hearing About My High Alkali Content

By - Wednesday September 17th 2008

viaduct complainsOh hey, gang. Whassup. Me? The uszhe. Witnessed an unusually sparse 27 taggings last weekend. I was urinated on, and around, some 34 times between Thursday and Monday. Defecated on twice. Saw two people set on fire (disclaimer: one may have been unintentional), 40 skateboarders, 214 bicyclists, 13 stray dogs, nine vomiting incidents, 11 illegal syringe-based transactions and 16 crack pipes utilized. Two cop cars keep sitting there at Santa Fe, staring at me and talking about God only knows. Where’s Wang Chung? It’s a bad moment straight out of To Live And Die. Meantime people constantly tell me I’m going to crumble when the next big one hits, due to my high alkali. High alkali this, high alkali that. “High alkali! Fix that shit! Historic!” Let me tell you something in no uncertain terms: I am sick and tired of hearing about my fucking high alkali content. Live and let bridge, I say. I don’t mention your bald spot.

Weekend plans? Let’s grab a drink soon! Or you can just come take a piss, spray some paint around & do some drugs. That works, too. Talk soon.




What now?

One Response to “I Am Sick And Tired Of Hearing About My High Alkali Content”

  1. Posted by orangehairboy 9/17/08 at 5:48 pm #

    Maybe people would stop talking smack about your alkali if you’d stop letting them shoot episodes of 24 on you every other week!


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