The DF Interview: Charlie Fisher of “The Pilot’s Season”

charlie-fo-real

Sarah Silverman. David Cross. Isla Fisher. Andy Dick. Kathy Griffin. Sam Seder. The crème de la improv circuit. Someday, DF may interview some or all of these people. Today, though, he will interview someone who has met all of them instead: Charles “Charlie” Fisher.

It’s often said of writers that their resumes are so long that they cannot be summarized with anything approaching brevity. This is not true of Charlie, but DF is still not going to summarize his resume here because it would be a pain in the ass. Suffice to say that Charlie is many things: sender of emails, resident of the greater LA area, seafood aficionado, and (most saliently for our current purposes) screenwriter who has worked with several celebrities.

This week, Charlie’s magnum opus, The Pilot’s Season, had its online debut on mydamnchannel.com, after an earlier run in 2004 with the now-defunct Trio network. Today, DF converses with this megawatt supernova of a writing genius in an interview exclusive to Losanjealous. Let’s watch!!!

DF: Charles K. Fisher. Chuck. Charlie Brown. Columbo. Fishy. The Fisher King.

CF: …

DF: Did you write The Fisher King?

CF: No.

DF: Have you seen The Fisher King?

CF: No.

DF: Neither have I.

Later.

DF: Well, I certainly understand the point you’re making, Charlie, but I think that reading of The Brothers Karamazov is intellectually jejune at best. Anyway, on her show, Sarah Silverman is always talking about her rack like she’s Dolly goddamned Parton, but from what I can see from the hundred or so internet photos I’ve downloaded, I don’t think she’s got anything bigger than a B-cup going on. What do you think?

CF: I’m—

DF: Because I have it in my notes that while you were filming Whose Caboose? (the film prequel to the miniseries The Pilot’s Season) you and Sarah were an item.

CF: No, that was actually Sam Seder, who played Max Rabin in Who’s the Caboose? and Pilot Season, not me.

DF: Oh, right. You must have been the one dating her sister, Laura, around that time, eh?

CF: No, that was H. Jon Benjamin, the actor who played Ken Fold.

DF: Didn’t you sleep with any of the actresses?

CF: No, I’m happily married.

DF: Well, that clearly didn’t slow down your co-workers. Sounds like they were having a full-on orgy up in there. Didn’t you at least bang the girl who did the makeup?

CF: If you had looked at the credits you’d see we didn’t have a makeup person.

DF: This is fucking bullshit.

Later.

DF: Now Charlie, I don’t want to start gushing all over you here, but the early figures for The Pilot’s Season on mydamnchannel.com are very positive.

CF: Yes, actually, they are. And the show is called Pilot Season, by the way, not The Pilot’s

DF: Yeah, whatever. So the latest count indicates that your show has been seen by literally dozens of people since its online debut earlier this week.

CF: Actually, it’s gotten nearly 200,000 views in only three days.

DF: Right, that’s what I said. Dozens, plural. Many, many, many dozens.

Later.

CF: No, DF, I don’t think Isla Fisher will go out with you. She’s already married to Sasha Baron Cohen. They have a kid.

DF: Wait, she reproduced with Borat? She prefers that weird hairy freak to DF?

CF: I don’t think that’s what—

DF: How about Sarah Silverman? She’s in DF’s range, eh?

CF: I really don’t think so.

DF: Will you ask her if she’ll go out with me?

CF: …

DF: What if I pay you?

CF: How much?

Later.

DF: I think what makes The Pilot’s Season so special is the sense of tragedy that haunts every moment. My favorite scene is when Kathy Griffin is about to die of boob cancer, and she still musters the spiritual courage to say, “Oh, Andy Dick, every pilot has their season, but you must live each day for the moment.” How did you think up awesome dialogue like that?

CF: Are we talking about the same show? Pilot Season is a parody of Hollywood. Plus, Kathy Griffin wasn’t even in Pilot Season, she was in Who’s the Caboose? And she was doing comedy in it, not tragedy. And she was very funny.

DF: I know. That’s what I’m saying—that line was freaking hilarious.

CF: I don’t think you’ve actually seen Pilot Season.

DF: What’s Pilot Season?

CF: …

DF: All right, I’ve had it with your hippie crap. This interview is over!

DF rips off his microphone, throws it at CF, and stalks angrily out of the room.

End.

Photo & credit: Fisher at ease in his hilltop Glendale estate. (C) 2009 Charlie Fisher. All rights reserved.