Michael Cooper: “[Expletive] UCLA”, Apologizes

Of course Coop gets a lifetime pass for his service to the Showtime Lakers, but in calling this out, we’re just looking out for John Wooden, who doesn’t need his 99-year-old ears soiled with this potty talk.

ESPN prints it as:

“My opening statement is [expletive] UCLA,” Cooper said to the assembled media.

Our minds ran wild over the 7 Dirty Words, turning over the possibilities. “Shit UCLA”? Etc. (We had just seen In The Loop, so concocting innovative new swears have been a big part of the killing the day here.)

Daily News print it as:

After USC beat UCLA 70-63 at the Galen Center, Cooper said: “My opening statement is (bleep) UCLA.”

While some might prefer the onomatopoetic “(bleep)” over “[expletive]”, it still doesn’t get help decipher what exactly was said.

But leave it to Dime Magazine to be like Vanna White and turn over the right letter and all but kill the mystery from the quote:

“My opening statement is, f*** UCLA,” Cooper said to kick off his post-game press conference on Sunday.

Daily News has the full text of his apology:

“I want to offer my sincerest apology to you, your players and your university for the inappropriate comment I made after our game on Sunday,” Cooper wrote. “There is no excuse for it, and I realize it is outside the bounds of good sportsmanship.”