I’m in the parking lot of Woodland Hills Marriot trying to liveblog the Cher convention. Next time I will not accept an assignment without first class airfare and accommodations. I keep getting thrown out of the business center for jimmying the door and am reduced to stealing a wireless connection from “ELAYNHUNTCORRECTIONALFACILITY”. I CAN NOT work under these conditions. [INMATE 00489710=]SHAKE YA ASS WATCH YASELF. My inbox has been compromised by felons and I keep receiving mail for someone named Michael Tyler who is probably an unsavory chara [INMATE 00489710=]SHOW ME WHAT YOU’RE WORKING WITH and I’m trying to IM you but you’re not online and people keep sending me prayers and propositioning me, [INMATE 00489710=]SHARP! LIKE YOU PULLED ME OUT THE PENCIL SHARPENER BAD! LIKE THAT STUDENT IN THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE PUT RAPPERS IN COFFINS THEY DIVE LIKE DOLPHINS not to mention that i have a logjam of intern reviews. I keep trying to post Intern eecue’s review but wordpress keeps filling up with gibberish. Please post it for me if you can:

TACOS EL GAVILAN –

When I worked at the world’s largest skateboard company World Industries, I treated interns badly. [INMATE 00489710=] I CAME HERE WITH MY DICK IN MY HAND DON’T MAKE ME LEAVE HERE WITH MY FOOT IN YO’ ASS; BE COOL AND DON’T WORRY BOUT HOW I’M RIPPIN THIS SHIT to say if I am actually providing any worthwhile insight into the culinary
[INMATE 00489710=]SHAKE YA ASS WATCH YA SELF having fun and that is what counts right.

[MSG FWD: INMATE 00489710=] MYSTIKAL YOU MY HUUUSBAND! KEEP YO HEAD UP AND BE COOL. due to a combination of wedding
induced psychosis and near heat exhaustion, thanks to the giant roof top chiller that cools our building being on the fritz, I reneged, bitching about not wanting to drive more than a few miles from Downtown and requesting a different restaurant to review [INMATE 00489710=]If IT DON’T BUMP OFF IN THE CLUB YOU CAN’T ROCK
IF IT AIN’T 808 IN THE TRUNK IT AIN’T KNOCK
IF YOU ROUND OUR NECK OF THE WOODS YOU BETTER STOP
CUZ THE PEOPLE ON THE BLOCK GONNA SHOW YOU WHERE TO DROP, AHHHH

got blacklisted from writing anything for losanjealous [INMATE 00489710=]U THINK I’M TRICKIN? BITCH, I AIN’T TRIPPIN I’M BUYIN IF YOU GOT NICE CURVES FOR YOUR ICEBERG

Central and Washington, Perfect that is right near the crack spot I always hit [INMATE 00489710=] SHAKE YA ASS WATCH YASELF tell my fiance [INMATE 00489710=] SHAKE YA ASS WATCH YASELF my fiance my fiance my fiance my fiance I’m out [INMATE 00489710=]SOMEBODY TELL ME THE WOMAN COMPLAINING TALKING BOUT I’M TOO SEXUAL
BUT LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HER, BETCHA I COULD SEX THE HOE

a paper cup of Jamaica. Jamaica isn’t pronounced like the country where Bob Marley is from, although if you tried to order it like that I’m sure they would figure out what you
were talking about. I don’t really know what it is, and I’m sure I could figure out the ingredients after a quick wiki query [FWD: MSG: INMATE 00489710=]MYSTIKAL YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON. I HOPE YOU GET OUT SOON, SO I HEAR YOU RAP AGAIN. AND WHEN YOU COME OUT I’LL BE READY TO LISTEN TO SOME NEW STUFF.STAY SWEET AND BE ENCOURAGED.

I don’t think I have ever eaten cooked slices of a cow’s brain before.

I ordered one cabeza taco, one lengua taco, one pastor taco (boring I know) and one buche taco, which the lady at the counter said was pork, but I now realize that she didn’t say which part of the pig it came from. Did I mention that I’m Jewish? I am a Jew [INMATE 00489710=] DICK DON’T FAIL ME NOW (HUH! HUH!)

I ate the lengua taco first and it was great. Lengua is tongue and it is nice and tender, almost as tender as organ meat, but without the strong organ flavor. The tortillas were hand made and questionably fresh, but good and the onions, cilantro and salsa really hit the spot.

I then moved on to the brains. Cabeza, literally head in Spanish, is even more tender than the tongue, but had a slightly strange flavor. I am not sure if I will eat this again… it is almost too soft and slimy. The Buche didn’t have much flavor, I’m pretty sure it was pig intestine, which actually isn’t my favorite organ ** . [INMATE 00489710=] STOP THAT FUCKIN RUNNIN AND BRING THAT ASS OVER HERE

After I finished that I noticed I still had a little over a buck left so I went back and [INMATE 00489710=] I SAID ” WELL LET ME TALK YOU THROUGH IT, GET THE KY JELLY”

I was wondering how my insides would take to the new and unusual fare I consumed, but in the end everything came out just fine. All in all I enjoyed my trip to Tacos El Gavilan and the next time I am in the area I will probably go back, but maybe not. My fiance was pissed that I ate [INMATE 00489710=] DICK DON’T FAIL ME NOW (HUH! HUH!)

she thinks we only ever [INMATE 00489710=] DICK DON’T FAIL ME NOW (HUH! HUH!) and fine dining together and Mexican food is her favorite. Oh well I told her, you had to work and I had to go take pictures of stuff and stuff. Next time I’ll take her along with me if she doesn’t have to work and if I’ve already picked up my [FWD: MSG: INMATE 00489710=]MYSTIKAL MAN, STAND TALL YOU GUN COM OUT A BETTER PERSON. STAY STRONG BRUDDA WE ALL WIT YOU. PEACE 1

Tacos El Gavilan
1900 South Central Ave

Ryan,

I just sent it. Did it come through? We are going to have to [INMATE 00489710=] SHAKE YA ASS WATCH YASELF renegotiate the terms of my contract when I get back. These work conditions are not only unprofessional and unacceptable, but they do not allow me to showcase my journalistic professionalism and preparedness. [INMATE 00489710=] SHAKE YA ASS WATCH YASELF

I need to go inside now. They are about to auction off the Gypsies Tramps and Leaves blower.

Regards,
Jeannette

*Mystikal is currently serving time in Elayn Hunt Correctional Facility in St. Gabriel, Louisiana.

*Intern eecue is currently doin’ time downtown.