#19: The Starbucks in a strip mall at the intersection of Ventura and Kester in Sherman Oaks.

Ha! I told you I was going east of the 405. But I didnt tell you how far east. Or north. . . .

This sweet little corner Starbucks sits in a strip mall two blocks east of the legendary 405 freeway. And they make good coffee. Great coffee. I order my ushz–a Tall Iced Americano, extra roomy. Its icey, its. . .dancey. Can I say that? Today I can. The weird thing is every time I order a Tall Iced Americano I have this mental image of a dead CIA agent in Colombia. Which reminds me to get back to work on my screenplay. Doesnt affect the flavor though. And the spacing of the store is good. Better than good. Bordering on very good. I spot a big arm chair by the window and park my butt. 45 minutes later I’m out the door.

This is all kind of off the record but after coffee I stroll around the rest of the mall. A little recon you might say. Nails, cell phones, sunless tanning, the ushz. Anything you need at your fingertips. This is America, after all. One place intrigues me: Madame Urania Fortune Teller. I’m a gambler. I go inside. I give the secretary $15 and follow her into the back room. She sits down and says, I am Madame Urania, What do you wish to know? I say, Is there danger in my future? She says, Let me consult the cards.

She lays them out in the form of a crucifix. She studies every pentacle, every cup.

The cards say you’re kind of a dick.

I unfold my hands. May I? I inquire. She nods. I take the cards and shape them into the silhouette of a hand giving the finger.

Now what do they say? I intone with my most imperious smirk.

There is danger in your future.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

First of all, it’s great to be writing for Losanjealous again. Who knew a sprained ankle would take 8 months to heal? Certainly not my chiropractor. Anyway, for all my well-wishers I offer a hearty “Whassup”

Where was I. Oh yeah. I was rating the 50 best Starbucks stores in LA. There’s been a lot of sturm and drang about my prejudices for Westside Starbucks. Listen folks, I’m putting myself out there. And I’m not about to back down now. You got a better list, show me. Maraca-roll please. . .

Number 20: The Starbucks kiosk in the Ralph’s on Olympic just past Century City.

You want controversy. Here’s your controversy. You may say, “There you go again, DeMarco. Another Westside Starbucks. And it’s not even a real Starbucks. It’s a kiosk.” Listen, before you roll out the car battery and alligator clips let me say one thing: Good coffee is good coffee. And whatever they’re doing at this booth in this Ralph’s with these Iced Americanos, they should keep doing it. Because it works.

The layout isn’t bad either. (”DeMarco are you crazy, it’s a booth.” Hey I expect that from my readers, but from my editor???) You get your coffee, wander around the foyer area, check out the produce, rent a carpet steamer. It’s good. Get in. Get out.

And the Americanos. . .cool, jazzy, flirtatious. And filled two fingers short of the brim so you can add at least ten bags of Splenda. Who me? No, wouldn’t be caught dead with the stuff. . .

There you have it folks. ‘Nuff said.

Next week: Bill DeMarco goes east of the 405–and lives to have a Frappucino.