Reader Monica sends in a fine capture of the exquisitely-tiled Poppins @ sunset and vine…

i’m ready to accept a cowboy mosaic a la catholic church, but there’s something very weird about julie andrews/mary poppins in mosaic. this thing is part of two wall pieces outside the washington mutual on sunset and vine. i can’t even start on the majesty that is the stained glass art that composes the whole entrance/door/middle wall, which looks like it’s depicting some sort of oppression/escape era, and i think i spotted an angry whale and a monster in the scrambling glass pieces, all very Not in the Biblical Sense but Very in the Biblical Sense. So here you go – Mary Poppins in the Biblical Sense.

Kudos Monica for not only isolating Mary, but also reminding us where Hollywood was born: WaMu at the corner of Sunset and Vine. Snippet from USC’s ever-reliable Ruth Wallach after the jump.
»continue reading In Praise of Mosaic Mary Poppins

Construction notices are up in the vacant storefront at the NE corner of Pico/WW Blvds, telegraphing an impending retail launch. The space—if I recall correctly, originally a Good Guys A/V joint and then, briefly, just before its current dusty state, a hasty incarnation of Comp USA— is being primed for the opening of a new Guitar Center location. It will be interesting to watch how this store takes root in the area and what, if any, effect it will have on nearby music shops.
»continue reading Guitar Center Coming to the Westside

24th/Wilsh, Santa Monica:::
Non-subtle reminder: Your weekly nonsense is due no later than midnight, thursday. You’ve all done a great job of collectively blowing up the inbox thus far. Let’s not slow the pace at such a late hour.

Los Angeles! The cityscape is peppered with frontage oddities, to be sure. Façaddities. You got that big record stack in tinseltown. You got a whole swath Normandie-style dwellings from the 1920s that could only be described as castle-rific, mid-city. You got houses on stilts built right into the sides of the damn hills. You got that nefarious Addams Family-looking thing up on Franklin. You got locksmith shacks. You got statue shacks. You got shacks, man. What I’m trying to say. You got mixed media: Yesterday I drove past a taco truck in Highland Park situated underneath a very old, very heavy permanently-fixed sign advertising the verysame taco truck squatting beneath it. You’ve no longer got Clifton’s Pacific Seas, but Brookdale on Broadway keeps the memory alive. You got the Marina Del Rey Courtyard Marriot (8 state-of-the-art meeting rooms), and you got Oki-Dog. Oddities man. They’re out there.

Curbed LA recently did a bang-up job of tracking down the ugliest building in Los Angeles, and we thank them for it. However a few facades have transcended their earthly kin and entered that hallowed, highest echelon of facadeness: Goofiness. Let’s examine three champions now. One’s a house, two are apartments.

1) El Bordello Alexandra
Venice Beach is home to many things. Dragon decor is but one. This apartment complex on Westminster became increasingly foolish during the 2.72 years in which I lived around the corner. At present it’s a façaddity you would be hard pressed to top.

»continue reading Frontage Poll: The Goofiest Facade Of Them All

News comes today that city planners are seeking zoning changes to allow for 250 square-foot units to be built in and around Downtown.

Opponents are very vocal:

“I see it as creating a neighborhood where parking is horrendous and families are squeezing themselves into these units which are very small because they are affordable,” affordable housing developer Noreen McClendon said.

While a representative from a development firm that stands to gain financially from the passage of the zoning change, makes some good points:

“This is a landmark event. The people who care about downtown L.A. have been waiting for these ordinances for a long time,” said Dan Rosenfeld, a principal in the downtown development firm Urban Partners.

It was not clear how or why the number of 250 was arrived upon, nor were exact details on these square-foot units are not yet known. My personal speculation is these may be for those new slim, standing hyperbaric chambers or in fact spacious living quarters for a new breed of genetically engineered micro-beings. Either way, the rejuvenation of Downtown Los Angeles wins.

The Canadians discussed his future mere hours ago. Readers were actually shocked into silence. Today’s photo: The Last Remaining Shotgun Shack In Santa Monica™ sits quietly, awaiting his fate at the corner of 14th and Colorado.

The Canadian Coffee Break brings together some of the finest Canadian minds in Southern California every week for a topical, lively round-tablesque discussion over very dark coffee. Won’t you join us.

In this week’s installment, Santa Monica’s “Historic Shotgun Shack” finally wins approval to be preserved – and moved – adjacent to the Ocean Park branch of the Santa Monica Library, as reported by the Argonaut. From the paper:

Santa Monica’s last remaining intact shotgun house has been through a lot since it was built in the late 1890s at 2712 Second St. < snip >

At the council meeting, all but one of the several who spoke supported the relocation of the house to Norman Place and Second Street, a parking lot across from the Ocean Park Branch Library, which some call an “eyesore.” < snip >

“The parking lot is really trashy. It’s not well kept; it’s not well lit. It’s got trash bins on it. For years, the library and retail stores have been complaining about this lot. And here’s an opportunity to clean it up.”

How do the California Canadians feel about this turn of events? Keep reading…
»continue reading Canadian Coffee Break: Santa Monica’s Shotgun Shack

Los Angeles will finally get a half-way decent hotel now that world-class hotel The Ritz-Carlton has announced a Downtown location, their first proper LA city location, scheduled to open in less than three years in 2010. In other news, the year 2010 is less than three years away.

The timing of the Ritz annoucement can only be interpreted as a shot fired right across the the bow of Frank Gehry’s Grand Avenue project which released supercool CGI renderings of that competing mixed use development on the same day. Oh, it’s on. L.A. Live vs. Grand Avenue–choose your sides now.

From the press release:

The Ritz-Carlton, Los Angeles, a 123-room “all club” hotel will be situated on the upper floors of a 54-story tower which will also include 224 private condominiums, The Ritz-Carlton Residences at L.A. Live.

Current Ritz-Carlton Guest Room Features & Amenities we can surely expect at the upcoming Ritz-Carlton:

• Feather beds 400-thread count fine linens
• Upscale mini-bar with Opus One wine
• State-of-the-art flat screen television and DVD player
• High-speed Internet access

One can only imagine what “state of the art” will mean for TVs and DVD players in the year 2010. Probably some crazy 3-D IMAX shit beamed from your iPhone directly into your retinas.

While none of those supercool CGI artist renderings are yet available, this description was given:

The Ritz-Carlton, Los Angeles will feature a metal and glass curtain wall exterior, and will consist of both vision and non-vision glass units in colors of blue and green and patterns to create a distinctive profile in the downtown skyline.

Metal and glass curtain wall exteriors are so 2009, so let’s hope that they improve on this by the time they start to pour the cement.

Asked to comment on the news of the forthcoming hotel, which features $1000 a night suites, due to open in his neighborhood, current Downtown open-air resident, Jerry James “J.J.” Washington said, “Who put what (in the) whatnow where?”

Always looking out for a deal, I spotted this studio for rent near UCLA. A rare find for its upfront rent and lack of the standard Westside Rentals signage. I could not get in to see the unit. I put together a description based solely on what I could glean from peering through the windows and the environs, so it may not be entirely accurate. Happy apartment hunting!

0 BR, 0.85 BA. $1250/MO. COZY RUSTIC OLD WORLD CHARM. INC. HOTPLATE, SPOON & FORK. FLOORS. SHACK ADJ. STAIRS FOR EXTRA EXERCISE. DELIGHTFUL VW BUS OUT FRONT ALWAYS. FEMALE PREFERRED, PETITE ASIAN A PLUS. SINGLE MALE MGR ONSITE. NO DOGS, FISH OK. WALKING DISTANCE. UNHAUNTED, QUIET BUILDING. METER PARKING.

Costco Warehouse No. 479 is located on 13463 Washington Blvd., Lat: 33.99116 (N 33°59.470′) (N 33°59’28.2″) (WGS 84 datum) Lon:-118.44612 (W118°26.767′) (W118°26’46.0″). It boasts a large paddle inductive and Avcon conductive EV charging station three sizes too small to accommodate the West Side Prius population, and has a large fossil fuel pump station for members (ten cents off per gallon). You can find parking by driving into oncoming flows of traffic and honking (like a jerk, if possible).

Enjoy a delicious hot dog, polish sausage, chicken Caesar or slice of pizza before you ever become a member. And once you become a member, go inside or just loiter among the shopping carts. The secret? Options.

Costco Culver City is large and inviting, too large to be appreciated by anyone or anything. Like the girls at Spearmint Rhino, the high shelves clamor for your dollars by dancing and wriggling on poles set above the promenade. Behold, jewels and history books, three pound bags of Doritos, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. It’s all for the taking. One minute you’re hanging nose-to-nose with a pair of socks, and the next, there’s some dude jumping out at you with a toothpick of jalapeno sausage. I told you it was different. COSTCO BURBANK? Sausage guy sucked.

Now if you’re daring, here’s something you can do. Make your way cautiously past the entrance hucksters and their digital camera devices, avoiding eye contact at all times, to the appliances. You’ll catch yourself muttering, “If only I had that 50 inch Sony HDTV, I’d use it for a computer monitor!” Try it. If you run quickly into the mirror aisle, you can watch yourself subvocalize this statement before the buzz wears off.

Eventually, you will pour into a bigger defragmented retail-run-together chamber that defies analysis.

The COSTCO CULVER CITY security personnel traverse the parking lot in golf carts and are very friendly and well-traveled. I once offered my spare cigar to a cue ball headed SECURITAS worker and he gave me a hand-rolled Perdomo of chocolate-flavored tobacco grown in Nicaragua, which he produced from his security jacket. True!

PARTING GLANCE: Costco Culver City shepherds Hollywood Video, Subway, and Starbucks No. 665 like a big ram protecting its ewes.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: a stern look or impassive wave of the hand may fool the doorman, but you need at least a Gold Member Card to buy anything.

Whelp. That’s Costco Culver City. See it from space. OO

LOS ANGELES (Losanjealous) ::: Seething at the latest Sterling Eyesore™ featured so prominently in the LA Times? Take heart, Anjealeno: Marc Grobman has introduced a grassroots campaign aimed at the beautification of Donald Sterling’s unsightly real estate landmines:

Donald T. Sterling is a multi-billion dollar real estate mogul and the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers. He is an extremely wealthy man who controls large swaths of Los Angeles and, perhaps, does not know how his smallest decisions affect millions of people. I call on your support to help right an ongoing atrocity.

The Donald T. Sterling Corporation purchases millions of dollars worth of full-page ads in the Los Angeles Times. These ads appear throughout the publication and can pop-up anywhere unexpectedly.

Here’s the problem: The ads don’t follow even the most basic principles of graphic design. They blend a hodgepodge of un-related type-faces. The margins are reduced to an 1/8 of an inch, surrounded by clunky borders. The width of the type is stretched and squeezed to fit. The space is cluttered with very large type, leaving no room for the eye to rest and making it hard to read or scan the page. Basically, the ads are painful to see.

We urge you: For the sake of all things decent about fontography, picas and points, read the Foundation’s Mission Statement and lend what you can to the cause today. Fight the good fight.

One of our informants recently submitted the following to the corporate office:

Skipped out on classes at CSUN and stumbled on this. Thought you might like.

Big Boy Mailbox
10612 Baird Ave
Northridge, CA

Distance from The Big Boy Mailbox to Bob’s Big Boy in Burbank at 4211 Riverside Drive: 17.6 mi (about 21 mins during optimal conditions)

Don’t miss the closeup photo.

We do apologize.
The fact of the matter is that we needed the space for a future project.

Regards,
La Verne Casagrande

Citizens react! Coverage of our atrocious deed: one, two, three, four, five

Recently we reported that Norwood Young, proprietor and resident-in-chief of Hancock Park’s notorious Youngwood Court (also affectionately dubbed the House of David™s by city residents), will be prominently featured in an E! reality series titled “High Maintenance 90210.” Today, we offer tips as to how you may personally assist in the beautifying of the route to the fabled Hancock Park manse in the highest-maintenance-fashion possible. Behold: The Youngwood Court Route Beautification Project…
»continue reading The Youngwood Court Route Beautification Project