Let’s see… Pie to the fourteenth, divided by Avocadro’s number, carry the hypotenuse… Oh, hello, readers! You interrupted DF as he was doing some serious number-crunching in advance of tonight’s derby contest. You see, readers, DF is a man of knowledge and learning, not some lily-livered, lunchpail-toting lummox who doesn’t even know the difference between Alfred Einstein and … some other good scientists. And he’s now going to take a purely empirical, hard-headed approach to this eve’s bout between LADD all-star outfit the Ri-Ettes and West Coast flat-track elite ensemble Team Legit.

DF at the Doll Factory, anticipating game onset. His excitement level is at 7.8 heartbeats per second, as this promises to be a particularly intense matchup (and also likely because he’s had six five-hour energys in the last hour). The Ri-ettes have loads of talent and more banked-track experience, but Legit’s got the fleetest and hardest-hitting of all the WFDTA skaters on their side, and recent matchups suggest that the best flat-track skaters aren’t too fazed by making the transition to skating on the slant. Let’s see, if you calculate the amount of adrenaline in the air (discounted by the fog of Axe Body Spray in which DF always travels), divide by the net volume of the Doll Factory, and interpolate thusly, you get a match that’s 99% likely to be awesome as shit (+/- 1% error rate). It’s on.

»continue reading Science! Team Legit v. LADD Ri-ettes, 3/27/2010 @ the Doll Factory

Dear Prof. Losanjealous:

I was in my biology class and I fell asleep because it was so boring. My teacher was showing slides. But then I woke up and saw something that looked like a Cheesy Bites pizza. Then he changed the slide. Can you tell me what I was looking at?

Sincerely,
Henry Gomez
8th grade
Thomas Starr King Middle School

»continue reading It’s ScienceTyme! With Prof. Losanjealous