
Have you ever wondered what might happen, were the Losanjealous editorial staff to consume way too much sake in a museum? Find out this May.
Fellow boozehounds and fans of lowriders, rejoice. Every year, the Little Tokyo Service Center throws a big fundraising party featuring an inordinate number of sakes for the imbibing and foodstuffs for the eating. Last year’s gala featured Iron Chef Morimoto and Star Wars memorabilia at the Expo Center downtown; the year before that, the group invaded the Museum of Neon Art. This year’s event, entitled La Vida Sake, takes place May 22 (Thursday) at the Petersen Automotive Museum on Wilshire. More specifically it takes place during the lowrider exhibit, and while we typically take our lowriders with tequila, we’re glad for the excuse to shift gears to sake for the evening. Plus, we have no choice but to applaud the LTSC for managing to truly encapsulate the essential ingredients comprising Los Angeles, our fair city, within this event: fund raising, alcohol, small portions, numerous cars, Wilshire Boulevard and a melting pot of cultural influences with serious Latino and Asian leanings. Voila!
»continue reading Win Tickets To La Vida Sake Now
PICK OF THE WEEK
Willoughby
Western States Motel
Dr. Dog
The Billionaires
Hotel Cafe
Tues May 13
Info
THIS WEEK’S TICKET GIVEAWAYS
KateNash Wed May 14 Henry Fonda Info [ENTER] |
TheProclaimers Fri May 16 El Rey Info [ENTER] |
Kate WalshQuincy Coleman Brandi Shearer Amoeba Tour Fri May 16 | Roxy Info | [ENTER] |
Earlimartw/ Vauxhaul Broadcast Sat May 17 Echoplex | Info [ENTER] |
Tally HallDe Novo Dahl Low Vs Diamond Sun May 18 El Rey | Info [ENTER] |
El Perro Del MarLykke Li Anna Ternheim Mon May 19 El Rey | Info [ENTER] |
HEADS UP
Metallica @ The Wiltern Wed 5/14
Aimee Mann @ Largo (First show new Largo location: 366 N. La Cienega) Mon 6/2
Rolling Blackouts @ Charlie O’s Thu 6/5
Islands @ Henry Fonda Tue 6/17
Coldplay @ MGM Grand Hotel, Las Vegas (Tickets On Sale 5/17 10 am) Sat 7/19
Ojos Rojos @ Good Hurt Sat 5/24
Times New Viking w/ Abe Vigoda @ The Smell Mon 6/16
Times New Viking @ The Echo Sun 6/15
Fink w/ Jaymay @ Troubadour Wed 6/18
Hard Summer Music Festival @ Shrine Expo Center (N.E.R.D, MSTRKRFT, Spank Rock, Kid Sister, A-Trak, Steve Aoki, The Bloody Beetroots, Kill The Noize & more) Sat 7/19
Steely Dan @ Nokia Theater Wed 7/23
The Swell Season w/ Iron & Wine @ Greek Theatre Sat 10/4
Hieroglyphics, Blue Scholars, Knobody @ El Rey (Freshly Dipped Tour) Sat 7/12
My Bloody Valentine @ Santa Monica Civic Auditorium Thu 10/2
My Bloody Valentine @ Santa Monica Civic Auditorium Wed 10/1
Stereolab @ Henry Fonda Thu 10/23
Madonna @ Dodger Stadium Thu 11/6
MONDAY
Film School w/ Everest @ Viper Room
Mezzanine Owls, Black Kites, Eagle & Talon, We Barbarians @ Spaceland (Mondays in May free residency)
Poi Dog Pondering @ Troubadour (ENTER TO WIN TICKETS)
Princeton w/ Le Switch, Division Day, The Henry Clay People @ The Echo (Aquarium Drunkard presents Mondays in May residency–free)
Tuesday, 5/13 - Sunday, 5/18 Picks Below…
May 12-16 is Bike to Work Week, and it looks like the weather here will be accommodating as usual. So take this opportunity to leave behind L.A.’s bumper-to-bumper traffic and get on the side of the greasy, dirty road — permanently if possible. It’s easier than you might think.
Every week for me is bike-to-work week, because I have done the unthinkable and decided to live without a car in Los Angeles. I’ve biked sporadically for a few years, but since my Honda went to compact heaven in January, I’ve adjusted to a new reality: riding to work every day whether I feel like it or not, biking to grab dinner when I’m so hungry I can’t see straight, and tempting fate on the way home from bars/parties. The past few months have been eye-opening, and the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that only about 2% of drivers know what to do when they encounter a bike. I have been car-doored, honked at, sneered at. One morning I almost wiped out a squirrel, which really entertained a woman driving in the opposite direction. I’ve been mentally filing away run-ins with idiotic drivers and other dangers, and I’ll be checking in here with some tales as well as detailing the latest reasons for swearing at motorists.
»continue reading In Celebration of “Bike To Work” Week

OBJECTIVE
Purchase large piñata for upcoming birthday party
GEOGRAPHIC DIRECTIVE / MISSION-CRITICAL ADVICE
Purchase said piñata in piñata district loosely centered around Olympic and Central. Do not get sidetracked by fresh fruit, nuts, chapulines, unappetizingly-piled meters of donglike chorizo or, worst of all, the ever-popular taco truck cleverly buried within the piñata stalls
BUDGET
$12
»continue reading An Afternoon At The Piñata District

HEADS UP AND BANGING
Metallica @ The Wiltern Wed 5/14
This Just In: Metallica will play the Wiltern this Wednesday, the latest installment in what is fast becoming a trend of aging musicians expecting exorbitant fees in intimate Los Angeles venues:
(Los Angeles, CA May 10, 2008) :: Silverlake Conservatory of Music will be celebrated with an extraordinary evening of musical entertainment taking place Wednesday, May 14 at The Wiltern (3790 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010). Metallica will appear with Scars On Broadway, the opening band fronted by Daron Malakian and drummer John Dolmayan from the band System of a Down.

While even San Jose has 2 dates listed, Coldplay have curiously left any Los Angeles area appearances off their initial “Viva La Vida” tour announcement. Of course they will play Los Angeles, as there is lots of cash to be made from performing in this market. That gap in the sched between Phoenix on 7/12 and Vegas on 7/19 bodes well for at least 2, maybe even 3 shows. Maybe even a secret club show thrown in some place.
Given an apparent preference for playing nearly exclusively at corporately-branded outsized barns on this tour (i.e., “Jobbing.com Arena”–nice one, Phoenix) it would seem that Staples Center and Honda Center are the local obvious choices. Usually it’s annoying when O.C. venue gets an exclusive “LA area” stop for a big tour, but somehow it would be appropriate for these guys, as it was for The Boss.
COLDPLAY - “VIVA LA VIDA” NORTH AMERICAN TOUR DATES
Date/City/Venue/Public Tickets On Sale Date
6/29 Philadelphia, PA Wachovia Center 5/16
7/2 Washington, DC Verizon Center 5/17
7/3 Hartford, CT XL Center 5/17
7/5 Detroit, MI The Palace of Auburn Hills 5/17
7/6 Cleveland, OH Quicken Loans Arena 5/17
7/8 St. Paul, MN Xcel Energy Center 5/17
7/9 Kansas City, MO Sprint Center 5/17
7/10 Oklahoma City, OK Ford Center 5/16
7/12 Phoenix, AZ Jobbing.com Arena 5/17
7/13 - 7/18 - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
7/19 Las Vegas, NV MGM Grand Garden Arena 5/17
7/21 Sacramento, CA ARCO Arena
7/24 San Jose, CA HP Pavilion
7/25 San Jose, CA HP Pavilion
7/27 Pemberton, BC Pemberton Festival
7/29 Edmonton, AB Rexall Place
7/30 Calgary, AB Pengrowth Saddledome
8/1 Winnipeg, MB MTS Centre
8/3 Omaha, NE Qwest Center
8/4 Chicago, IL United Center
10/20 Montreal, QC Bell Centre
10/21 Ottawa, ON Scotiabank Place
10/26 East Rutherford, NJ Izod Center
10/29 Toronto, ON Air Canada Centre
10/30 Toronto, ON Air Canada Centre
11/3 Boston, MA TD Banknorth Garden
11/7 Orlando, FL Amway Arena
11/8 Miami, FL American Airlines Arena
11/11 Atlanta, GA Philips Arena
11/18 Houston, TX Toyota Center
11/19 Dallas, TX American Airlines Center
11/21 Denver, CO Pepsi Center Arena
11/22 Salt Lake City, UT Energy Solutions Arena
Mysterious, sporadic, categorically unreliable as a weekend guide - not unlike your cat in that aspect - the Losanjealous Benevolent Society compiles strange happenings and fun events in LA; the more bizarre, the better. If you’re organizing or know of an event you think belongs on the list, send the info to tips@losanjealous.com.
Today’s installment gets one entry and one entry only. No plans Saturday? Please for the love of God somebody go do this and blog it for us. It could be great. It could also be terrible. We are counting on you to tell us which.
SATURDAY
Midnight Madness Scavenger Hunt (Sans Michael J Fox) @ Hollywood & Highland
A high-tech, scavenger-hunt-esque game around the Hollywood neighborhood followed by a screening of the 1980 Disney cult-classic “Midnight Madness.” The game is going to have players navigating the area using a mobile device that feeds them missions, asking them to find clues, solve puzzles, interact with secret agents, and create funny pictures and videos. The photos and videos will be screened at the Egyptian with the audience voting on the best ones, followed by the screening of Midnight Madness, and then a Q&A with the film’s co-director, David Wechter.
What: A high-tech, real-life adventure game in and around Hollywood & Highland
When: Sat 10 May. Meet at 3 PM for registration. Game is 3:45-5:45, awards ceremony at 7:30, movie at 8.
Where: The Egyptian Theatre; 6712 Hollywood BoulevardTickets are $32 General Admission; $30 Student/Senior and $28 Cinematheque Members. Film only tickets are also available; however, anybody opting to watch the film without going on the scavenger hunt will no longer be allowed to read Losanjealous.
AND A SUBTLE REMINDER
My Bloody Valentine tickets go on sale Saturday morning. Godspeed.
The full-on downpour during Stevie Wonder’s headlining slot…the morning thunderstorm that kept us waiting for hours inside a dark house in the ninth ward…the musicians you’ve never heard of that unfailingly blow your mind…the food, the ridiculous overconsumption of that food you just can’t quite replicate anywhere else…truly, the weekend was full of all of the reasons that have kept me returning to New Orleans for its annual Jazz & Heritage Festival the last thirteen years in a row. I haven’t stopped since my first taste; they must be doing something right. Rough timeline goes a little like this:

Cochon de Lait
Only in New Orleans does the line “my friend shat his pants today” win you the favor of locals and the cathartic epiphany of a weekend well-indulged in festival foodlines. Both of these were the result of my 8th journey to the New Orleans Jazzfest last weekend. Marking the finish line in this manner is all too easy – it is truly the landmarks along the journey that provide inspiration for a future generation of festival goers.
A quick note on logistics: although you may think that a redeye flight from Cali to Atlanta to Baton Rouge followed by an economy car rental to New Orleans with mid-weekend dropoff to enable a frantically dispatched return taxi ride to a missed shuttle and fortunate backup Greyhound bus back to Baton Rouge with return flight to Atlanta and Cali is your BEST LOW COST option for Jazzfest travel, my recent experience informs me you may want to reconsider. The taxi ride is a bit overpriced.
To set the virtual table before you, imagine arriving at the Jazzfest site – a sprawling carnival-meets- NASCAR fanbase- meets-hipster 30something mess of people tangled across a landmass that resembles the grounds of a nightmarish Renaissance fair gone music conscious. You know the scene. Music charges the air from all directions as you trudge your way through a turkey leg graveyard from one stage to the next.
But lift yourself out of the drifting herds and take a bird’s eye view on this confederacy of dunces: you will see that at the very center of the festival, not unlike a diseased and atherosclerosized heart, lie the objects of our fancy…the unmistakable Jazzfest food stalls. With several locations maliciously situated as far from the portoshitters as possible, these food stalls are a glimpse into God’s pantry. If God is a jumbo-sized, grease-mongering, spicy assblast-inducing Cajun, that is. Here is but a glimpse of the foodstuffs that sizzle, steam and squish behind those celestial curtains:
»continue reading Shitpantstastic: New Orleans J”ass”fest 2008

Full food report will be forthcoming. For now, the photos do the talking.

HEADS UP AND SHOPPING
Hot Hot Heat @ The Grove just outside Crate and Barrel Thu 5/8
In a not altogether unpuzzling turn of events, Hot Hot Heat will play a free show at everybody’s favorite Vegas-sized mall The Grove™, tomorrow evening, for the Canadian Board of Tourism. We’re told the show kicks off at 745 pm (Serena Ryder opens) with British Columbia’s own Hot Hot Heat purportedly taking stage sometime after (HHH’s official website has the show starting at 630pm, further adding to our overall confusion about the affair). Go Canada! You have been duly advised.
Hot Hot Heat @ The Greek by Sung
SHEER GROVE
» The Grove™ Luxuriously Cushy Shade-Enabling Devices
» Grove To Self: Today’s iPhone Clusterfuck Goal In Full-On OutFuckingPerform Status
» Time Capsule: The Grove Parking Structure: One Year Ago Today
» The Grove Parking Structure, 12/20/05
» After Hours Grove Xmas-Ness Surges Into ‘Holy Fucking Shit’ Territory
» Stallone To Punch, Sign Books At Grove Barnes and Gravy

3.05pm. Hollywood, CA. Come on girl, that’s it! Faster! Break through the pack! Oh, hello. You’ve caught DF in the middle of his second-favorite derby, that of the Kentucky-and-horse-racing variety. Isn’t the commonality of vocabulary one invokes in rooting for both forms of derby strikingly similar? What an amusing coincidence. Anyway, DF isn’t worried about the race’s outcome because he convinced some ignorant sucker/bookie to take a bet that no horse will be shot on the track immediately after the race. After all, what are the odds that some sick freak would do that?
Thirty seconds later. God dammit. DF makes his way over to the bar for his thirteenth mint julep. Losing $1000 is a painful way to learn that horse assassination is apparently standard in thoroughbred racing. I don’t like that sport anymore. But I do, as Losanjealous readers know well, love me some roller derby. And fortunately, there’s a bout on tap tonite and DF is, per usual, on the guest list.
6.55pm. Hi-Fi, Losanjealous, CA. DF arrives at the Doll Factory in bourbon-soaked seersucker, reeking of muddled mint. I ascend to the media skybox, where plentiful free booze awaits in icy cold buckets (seriously, whoever facilitated this largesse, I love you). There’s particular buzz in the air tonight because this isn’t just a league game, it’s a battle royale for Southern California banked-track roller derby supremacy pitting the LA Ri-ettes, a select team of LADD’s top skaters against the less creatively named San Diego Derby Doll All-stars.
»continue reading SoCal Smackdown: LA and San Diego Derby Dolls @ The Doll Factory, 5/3/08

Kate
The
Kate Walsh
Earlimart
Tally Hall
El Perro Del Mar








































































































































