Have you ever wondered what might occur were the Losanjealous editorial staff to overindulge in sake while inside a museum? It keeps me up at night, too. Find out this May.

Fellow boozehounds and fans of lowriders, rejoice. Every year, the Little Tokyo Service Center throws a big fundraising party featuring an inordinate number of sakes for the imbibing and foodstuffs for the eating, all within the confines of a decidedly non-Asian-centric museum of note. Case in point: Last year’s gala featured Iron Chef Morimoto and Star Wars memorabilia at the Expo Center downtown. The year before that, the group invaded the Museum of Neon Art. This year’s event, entitled La Vida Sake, will take place May 22 (Thursday) at the Petersen Automotive Museum on Wilshire. More specifically it will take place during the lowrider exhibit, and while we typically take our lowriders with tequila, we’re exuberant for a valid excuse to collectively shift gears to sake for the evening. Plus, we have no choice but to applaud the LTSC for managing to neatly encapsulate the essential ingredients and flavors comprising Los Angeles, our fair city, within this one event: fund raising, alcohol, small portions, numerous cars and Wilshire Boulevard will all be simmered in a melting pot of cultural influences with serious Latino and Asian leanings. Voila!
»continue reading Win Tickets To La Vida Sake Now

Cochon de Lait

Only in New Orleans does the line “my friend shat his pants today” win you the favor of locals and the cathartic epiphany of a weekend well-indulged in festival foodlines. Both of these were the result of my 8th journey to the New Orleans Jazzfest last weekend. Marking the finish line in this manner is all too easy – it is truly the landmarks along the journey that provide inspiration for a future generation of festival goers.

A quick note on logistics: although you may think that a redeye flight from Cali to Atlanta to Baton Rouge followed by an economy car rental to New Orleans with mid-weekend dropoff to enable a frantically dispatched return taxi ride to a missed shuttle and fortunate backup Greyhound bus back to Baton Rouge with return flight to Atlanta and Cali is your BEST LOW COST option for Jazzfest travel, my recent experience informs me you may want to reconsider. The taxi ride is a bit overpriced.

To set the virtual table before you, imagine arriving at the Jazzfest site – a sprawling carnival-meets- NASCAR fanbase- meets-hipster 30something mess of people tangled across a landmass that resembles the grounds of a nightmarish Renaissance fair gone music conscious. You know the scene. Music charges the air from all directions as you trudge your way through a turkey leg graveyard from one stage to the next.

But lift yourself out of the drifting herds and take a bird’s eye view on this confederacy of dunces: you will see that at the very center of the festival, not unlike a diseased and atherosclerosized heart, lie the objects of our fancy…the unmistakable Jazzfest food stalls. With several locations maliciously situated as far from the portoshitters as possible, these food stalls are a glimpse into God’s pantry. If God is a jumbo-sized, grease-mongering, spicy assblast-inducing Cajun, that is. Here is but a glimpse of the foodstuffs that sizzle, steam and squish behind those celestial curtains:

»continue reading Shitpantstastic: New Orleans J”ass”fest 2008

Full food report will be forthcoming. For now, the photos do the talking.

While most people were making lists of what bands they couldn’t miss, texting friends in hopes of getting on the guest list for various invitation-only pool parties, and planning their skimpy wardrobes, I was thinking about how much festival food I could realistically consume in the three days I would be at Coachella.

Now, you’d think that a person who, with the help of an equally culianarily adventurous friend, invented and consumed something called a “McNuggitini” (no, seriously) would be able to eat all sorts of deep fried and heart-attack-be-damned treats and walk away with a spring in her step and a smile on her face, right? I pride myself on having no “food guilt” and not being one of those girls that obsesses about each and every calorie, and I promise you’ll never see me order a salad when what I really want is a burger…life’s too short not to enjoy it. But! Festival foods, you’re were a worthy adversary, and I hate to admit defeat, but I think I’ve been bested.

Sure, the weekend started off sugary. But in my defense, I needed a little energy boost for the drive, and I recently swore off coffee. Alright, fine…I’m also madly in love with Piña Colada Slurpies. After that, though, I was determined to show Festival Foods who was boss by opting for a somewhat healthier choice, a veggie burger:
»continue reading Coachella Festival 2008: The Weekend in Food

No, I did not make it out today. I waited in Marina Del Rey all day as planned, Sandalwood Conference Room, Courtyard Marriott. Eventually the truck arrived, carrying our two new conference tables. Hey, somebody’s gotta handle the nuts and bolts. Fuck off. Still, the wait and unfortunate LES SAVY FAV dodge actually afforded me the opportunity to check out that Free Blood / Death Set / Yeasayer / No Age show inside that freaky Eastern Bloc ballroom on Melrose (photos TK). Thanks Sean, that shit was tight and I don’t mean that in a security way. Amazing bands, clientele, locale…what do you want from me. If I couldn’t be in a dusty field in the desert, well, this was the closest second.

Meantime I get this missive from Victor. We’ve got photogs running all over Indio, yet what’s the sole photo I’m greeted with? Pork nachos. Behold:

From: Victor
Class: Personal
Sent: Apr 25, 2008 8:52 PM
Subject: Pork topped nachos. Invented right here right now.

Speechless. See you out there bright and early, Saturday. Fuckers.

How would you respond to this question:

“There is a grilled cheese tournament this weekend. Any interest in covering/judging it?”

If your response would make you sound like something of a lunatic, I think we’d be good friends. It was in the name of journalism (and a deep love of butter, bread, and mostly, cheese) that I attended the “The 1st 6th Annual National Grilled Cheese Invitational” last Saturday, April 19th. It was located in Griffith Park, and after getting lost in the park for 20 minutes (the promised signs directing attendees to the exact spot were nonexistent), a run-in with what would be the first of many eccentric grilled cheese competitors, and almost getting into a brawl with another car-load of equally hungry attendees over a coveted parking spot (my switchblade comb scared them off, and we were victorious), we made it to the Crystal Springs Picnic Grove just as the sun was starting to show its pretty face.

Q. Why is this grilled cheese chef different from all other grilled cheese chefs?
A. Because he took two vans, cut them in half, and then welded them together to make one giant van…awesome
»continue reading Losanjealous Visits The 1st 6th Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational

Note: Please welcome Georgia into the fold. Georgia, our latest food guinea pig critic, embodies the precise elements we yearn for in a writer here at Losanjealous: namely, questionable gastronomic sensibilities and a longing for adventure. Enough chatter, on with the goods. -ed

You don’t plan on eating a bacon wrapped hot dog for dinner…you just don’t. Upon settling in to a quite night in front of the television, you don’t answer your honey’s question of “What do you feel like having for dinner?” with “Ohhh, I dunno…I’m kinda in the mood for greasy street food of questionable health code standards. What about you?”

In fact, I think it would be sacrilegious to eat a bacon wrapped hot dog (aka b-wrapped hot dog, hot dog wrapped in bacon, and “whatever is emitting that delicious smell outside [insert dive bar or music venue] after last-call”) anywhere but standing next to the cart that sold you your meat-wrapped-in-meat delicacy, or in your car.

I have found myself outside said dive bars and music venues after last call on many, many occasions. I’ve been hungry the majority of these instances, and have even uttered an audible “Mmmmm” when confronted with the smell of pig fat and onions frying in a puddle of grease. But, for reasons too numerous to list, I had never had a bacon wrapped hot dog. Not even a bite!!! Can you believe it?
»continue reading The First Bacon Wrapped Hot Dog

1) Rachael Ray’s party had the best food, hands down and, of course, like all day parties, it was free.
2) The line was fairly long–up to an hour.
3) Notable bands in lineup included The Raveonettes and The Stills.
4) Unfortunately, it also included her husband’s (a lawyer by day) band, aptly named The Cringe.

UPDATE:

The now-legendary Rachael Ray SXSW 2008 BBQ Menu:

- Seven-Layer Mini Beef Sliders
- Baby Back Pork Ribs w/ Apricot Jelly BBQ Glaze*
- Vegeterian Mac ‘n Cheese Suizas
- Bourbon-Orange Skillet BBQ Chicken w/ Cornbread Topper

*Sung’s fav

News comes from Eater today that a Mcdonald’s in Hacienda Heights has undergone the chain’s first transition (more to follow) into what they hope will now be a more relaxed, Feng Shui’d, Zen-like beef-and-cheese-purchase- inducing atmosphere, inside and out. To be sure, years of serving up beef and those beef-extract-inclusive french fries under the shadow of the Heights’ Hsi Lai (pictured), the nation’s largest Buddhist temple, have had a marked effect on the Hacienda’s hamburger-serving outpost. Mcdonald’s Corporation, bodhisattva to the world’s beef-eating masses if you will, has had a (presumed) longstanding tradition of operating under the Buddhist tenet The greatest quality is seeking to serve others (Atisha, 11th cen.) Let this then be further testament to the awakened purity of the Board of Directors’ collective selfless souls.

Related: My favorite Mcdonald’s site to date remains a true paean to the (Heights-inclusive) SG Valley: http://www.i-am-asian.com/

» Only in SoCal: The Country’s First Feng Shui McDonald’s (Eater)

We would like to extend a heartfelt “thank you” to our readers, contributors, advertisers and - especially - our publicity spammers with a lovely dual-colored bouquet of beets on this day of days. We just can’t beet you. INSTRUCTIONS: (1) Right-click image. Save to desktop. Print on color printer. (2) Affix to cardstock. (3) Write personalized note on back. (4) Stuff into tiny envelope. (5) Make the dog lick the envelope. (6) Give to classmate. (7) Be mine?

IF I were to ask you–and I’m not saying that I will ask you, but I’m just speaking hypothetically here–which ubiquitous steakhouse chain restaurant is presently owned by an Australia-based private equity firm, you would–after initially saying, “Why the hell are you asking that? Keep your eyes on the road, you idiot”–likely guess “Uh, Outback,” right? Because nothing quite says “Down Under” like Outback Steakhouse, right? BUT you would be wrong, dead wrong–as wrong as you have ever been about anything in your miserable life. (Outback, ironically, is owned by Florida-based OSI Restaurant Partners, LLC.)

No, it’s SIZZLER. SIZZLER–beloved comfortable well-lit temple of budget friendly surf & turf, Double Malibu Chicken, endless* shrimp, “salad bars” that serve up sweet swirls of soft-serve, and, last but not least, famous cheese toast, physics-defyingly soft and yielding on one side–yet crisp and crunchy on the other (how do they do it?!)–has in fact been under Australian ownership since 2005.

But this can–and must–change. News comes that the Australian Pacific Equity Partners has put Sizzler on the sales block.

Let the campaign begin here. Sizzler–founded right here in Culver City in 1958 by Del and Helen Johnson–must come back home and once again be owned by a proper States-based company, as it should be. God bless Sizzler and God bless America.

Daniel Hernandez has written a very informative and interesting article chronicling the daily woes of a now-legal hot dog vendor and her illegal peers over at LA Weekly. Go check it out. (via Eater)

FURTHER BACON
» Probably still my favorite Flickr group ( MSFT: please keep it after buying Yahoo - thx)
» Google finds 68 results for “baconwrapped” on our site in 0.03 seconds

As both self-appointed arbiters of all things L.A. and freezer section frequenters, we were on a collision course for a reckoning with L.A. Minis. And, last week, collide we did.
»continue reading Losanjealous Freezer Section: L.A. Minis

Blah blah blah, readers this, readers that, not us not you but we, clever turn of phrase, witty aphorism, get out the vote. Who had the best cup of coffee in Los Angeles during calendar year 2007? Vote below! Confused? We asked this verysame question not long ago; refer to this page for inspiration.

UPDATE, 1/08: Polls closed; results now online.
»continue reading Reader Picks ‘07: Your Favorite Cup of Coffee

We’ve a wealth of material to get through before year’s end, to be sure. Thus far we’ve asked for your take on the best individual concert, festival, breakfast and parking spot, and you have responded accordingly. While those polls remain open and incredibly active, at this time we’d like to find out what you consider your favorite taco in Los Angeles. Feel free to go granular and categorize by type as well as purveyor, i.e. “asada @ estrella - HP location #3 - but not that damn pastor” … Multiple votes are allowed so vote now, twice more this afternoon, and two dozen times after this evening’s tacos.

UPDATE, 1/02/08: Polls closed; results now online.
»continue reading Reader Picks ‘07: Your Favorite Taco