Under $10: Golden Burger, Long Beach

WHERE DID YOU ORDER THIS MONSTROSITY?
Golden Burger
2301 East 4th Street, Long Beach, CA

HOW MUCH WAS IT?
Less than $5 ($4.45 + bacon? something like that)

HOW WAS THE PROTEIN?

Cardiotastic: Thin pounded smoky patties grilled to perfection; crispy, intimidating, plentiful well-done bacon

HOW WAS THE PRODUCE?
Tomato slices were thick, plentiful, huge, bland. (Full disclosure, I grow my own so I’m spoiled.) Pickle was fine. Onions were fine. Shredded lettuce was out of control, portion-wise: the coleslaw-aping addition produced a constant dribble all over anything and everything directly underneath this monstrosity, throughout the proceedings. I would go so far as to postulate that my final uneaten 2″ scrap of bun may in fact still be leaking lettuce in the dumpster.

HOW WAS THE CHEESE?
Melted and drenched (see for yourself)

AND THE JUICEFACTOR?
A full 2.72 oz of “burger juice drip” created a massive, somewhat embarrassing wading pool on the table. Adjacent to this, a more concentrated 0.9 oz of “special sauce drip” created a cute and vaguely orange kiddie pool. Somewhat interestingly, the two pools neither coagulated nor combined. I blame the dividing line of lost lettuce.

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