Readers! Did you snooze on the free acoustic Kooks gig at Canter’s Kibitz Room last night? Fear not; we’ve got your back with this handy, printable step-by-step instruction sheet as to how to recreate the gig in your very own studio apartment. Behold:

1. Hang a few dozen 8×10 framed live classic rock photos on the walls of your apartment. Go heavy on Aerosmith, if possible.
2. Purchase a pastrami on rye from Canter’s deli, to go. While in the area, stop by Liquor Time Liquor (7873 Santa Monica Blvd at Fairfax) and purchase a large bottle (1.75 L) of Jack Daniels “Old No. 7″ Tennessee whiskey.
3. Place the pastrami sandwich on the floor of your apartment. Douse it with the whiskey. Spare no whiskey. Liberally pour the entire contents of the bottle over the sandwich. Next, grind the sandwich thoroughly into the floor and spread it as far as you possibly can. Use a broom or a mop to ensure even distribution. When finished, scoop whatever food particles remain, if any, into the garbage. Mop up any remaining whiskey with a dry mop so as to preserve the scent. If your floor is carpeted: Skip the mop.
4. Wait outside the front door of your apartment for five minutes. Eventually allow yourself inside (after checking your ID to verify you are 21 or older).
5. Invite six friends over. This will be the ambiguous “friends of the band, UK label reps and management” group, so they’ll need to already be in the venue (your living room) before the show starts. They should all have British accents. Give them carnival tickets. They will, during the course of the show, trade these carnival tickets to you for free alcoholic beverages, so make sure you have something on hand for which to serve them. NOTE: They’re Brits. Don’t expect a tip.
6. Invite 12 more friends over. These are the Los Angeles fans. Each fan should have a minimum of one camera or recording device on his or her person. There were probably some 75 people at the actual gig, but you’re building this replica to scale. That is, unless you want to do the sandwich-and-whiskey trick six more times.
7. Collectively watch this video submitted by one of our readers.

Voila! You’ve just recreated The Kooks: Live In Los Angeles: A Free Acoustic Set At Canter’s Kibitz Room. Pat yourself on the back, get your hands on one of those carnival tickets and trade it in to yourself for a well-deserved cocktail.

HEADS UP
Kooks @ Canter’s Kibitz Room Tues 5/20

Believe it: The Kooks will be playing the venerable, pastrami-infused Kibitz Room at Canter’s Deli next Tuesday, a day after their sold out Wiltern gig. Longtime readers may recall I’ve confessed to spending way too much time in the Kibitz Room over the years. As such there’s a good chance you might not believe me at this point. Here’s the official word:

To start their tour on a different note, The Kooks will be taking to the streets. The band will be hitting various undisclosed locations in LA next Tuesday May 20th to film a Sidewalk Sets session, playing acoustically to both fans and passer-bys. The day will culminate in an intimate acoustic show in the Kibitz Room at Canter’s Deli, located at 419 North Fairfax Avenue.

Full announcement after the jump…

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