Manwhore Named Best Los Angeles Rock Band
Last week the 15th Annual Los Angeles Music Awards were, uh, awarded. And the winner of Los Angeles Rock Artist of the Year went to (drumroll) … … … Where the hell’s my drumroll? You didn’t say “please.”–Ed. OK. Drumroll. PLEASE. That’s better.–Ed. (actual drumroll) … MANWHORE. That’s right, MANWHORE is L.A.’s best rock band, according to the Los Angeles Music Awards. Those not familiar with the best rock band in the entertainment capital of the world can visit their website here. Who needs MySpace with HTML skills like that? While you’re there, be sure to sample their hit single “Cake and Cock.”
Lest you doubt the credentials of these “LAMAs” to go around annoiting “bests,” here’s a look at their origins from their website, so you know they’re legit:
The Los Angeles Music Awards were founded in 1991 by Alfred C. Bowman after nearly ten years of successfully operating a small limousine and entertainment company that catered mostly to music industry professionals. From 1982 until 1992, Bowman’s clients included Motley Crue, Ozzy Osbourne, Ratt, Dokken, Bon Jovi, Prince, Madonna, and a host of other celebrities from film and television. Having acted as owner operator of a small fleet of limo’s, Bowman often attended awards shows as part of his clientele’s destinations. For nearly ten years, Bowman attended the Grammy’s, Oscars, AMA’s and other special events as both limo driver and most of the time, a seat filler. By studying these large scale productions first hand, Bowman learned how to structure an awards event.
So catch Manwhore at the Joint or Whisky before they blow up, leap to the national arena circuit and it becomes impossible to see them up close. Just remember it was losanjealous that hipped you to them.
Runners up Jazzalea must be PISSED.
They’ve got nuthin’ on MOJO RIB
http://www.mojorib.com/
Funny that Manwhore and Mojo Rib’s websites both open with angry manifesto-ish babble about the need for rejuvenation of rock n’ roll. Mojo Rib uses a particularly witty metaphor–go see. What these cluesless dolts don’t get is that rock n’ roll is alive and well with out them — they are just not good enough to join the club. Queens of Stone Age, System of a Down, Foos, Mars Volta–the list of local hard rock band successes is long. Maybe if they took shit seriously, gave up the junior high jokes (starting with those shitty band names) and actually studied the scene, they might play to more than the same 75 co-workers and friends on the Strip shithole circuit.
Dear Manwho,
So glad that the Manwhore name is so, “High school” that you’ve decided to steal half of it and hide your pathetic identity with the bands name. And by the way the facts are The Whiskey was 250+ people, it wasn’t a circuit, and it’s all about Cake and Cock. Do everyone a favor, take off your eyeliner and your nail polish, get an identity and go put some more food in your mamma’s dish.
-Signed by,
“LA MUSIC AWARD WINNERS FOR BEST ROCK BAND IN LOS ANGELES” – Manwhore
I GO TO EVERY SHOW. THESE FUCKERS ROCK! CALL ME A GROUPIE, CALL ME WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT I ALONG WITH THEIR 300 SOME LOYAL “FOLLOWERS” DON’T LIKE TO BE LABELED. SO, IF YOU YOU PUT YOUR HAND IN YOUR POCKET AND FIND BALLS…COME OUT AND SEE THEIR SHOW…FUCKERS.
To MANWHO–
I had planned to defend my decision to profile MANWHORE and rebutt your charges against LA’s #1 rock band. But it seems now that the MANWHORE themselves (wassup dudes!) and one of their many followers have come forward to put you in your place.
INGRID’S comment above says it all. Especially the part about the putting of hands in pockets to find balls. Or, in your case, Manwho, NOT find balls, as it is balls that you clearly lack!
Rock on MANWHORE! Cake and Cock for everyone!
Wow – interesting thread here. Haven’t seen manwhore myself, but I did enjoy the cake and cock number from their website. I would definitely pony up for a ticket if they get the chance to open for Manowar on a sort of Man-o-War/Whore tour. At that point I immediately put hand in pocket, find balls and go straight to the show. Respective managers, talk to me. Let’s make this happen. Losanjealous can sponsor.
I still think those School of Rock kids should have won. Their costumes were adorable.
Manwhore: Let’s set aside our differences and be real for a sec. Do you truly believe you are going anywhere with that band name and those songs? Of course not. Those LA awards are a joke and so are you guys. I can remove my eyeliner and nail polish anytime but your band will always suck shit. For a musician, playing the Whisky in 2005 is the equivalent of appearing on public access for an actor. And that’s Whisky with no “e”. But spelling is the least of your problems. Please do us a favor and stop already.
Manwhore Groupie: I appreciate you think these fuckers rock. You are wrong, but you are entitled to have bad taste. Proud refusal to be “labeled” is the last refuge of those who cannot fit in.
Losanjealous: Your site is cool, so why the fuck would you waste any space on these turkeys? Try covering some local bands worth a damn: The Blood Arm or Lion Fever for example.
Oh and I said your band name is JUNIOR high level humor. The average 9th grader these days has a more developed sense of humor than you guys.
Dear Manwho:
You’re right, let’s put our differences aside. After all, we put our pants on the same way you do, one leg at a time. The only difference is, when our pants are on, we win LA Music awards.
As far as us not being, “good enough to join the club.” Fuck the club. Rock n Roll is not about clubs or categories that you and the guy in the cubicle next to you put together.
If you’re not in a band then we will consider this conversation closed. There is no point in dicussing this with someone who has no idea of what they are talking about. After all, just because you’ve seen Platoon doesn’t mean you no what war is like.
However….If you are in a band (And I pray to god you are) then get your shit together and let’s play. You name the time, place, and the date, and we’ll settle this. Loser has to wear the the other bands t-shirt during their next show and the winner will be decided by the number of people drawn.
-Signed by,
“LA MUSIC AWARD WINNERS FOR BEST ROCK BAND IN LOS ANGELES” – Manwhore
P.S. Your mom is scratchin at the door, go let her out.
Tirthankar Poddar holds the record for having sex with 1500 women on January 3rd 2005.He is a singer for a rock band called VAYU
LOL
You said cock.
Manwho,
You make fun of Manwhore’s name and then suggest that we should listen to bands named The Blood Arm or Lion Fever. Those terds bought some poetry magnets, threw them on the fridge and came up with names that are as bad as your breath. Don’t be a jerk just because Manwhore won an award. Let them play because they like to do it. Also, please shut up.
Manwho:
Since when did “studying the scene” of rock and roll on the strip has to do with trying to take yourself seriously. Yeah, they could be System of a Down, but for two reason they’re not: 1) they have about a quarter of the anger as SOAD, and 2) they have no interest in being SOAD. I know these guys, have seen them live, and by far the ManWhore experience is nothing but a good time. You want to make fun of cake and cock? Then why do 250 people go see them all the time they perform to see cake and cock? Because it’s a fun time.
You are allowed to take yourself seriously. I’m sure with that attitude you have become the best pizza delivery man in Hollywood and even maybe found a few dates on the internet. The idea is to have your cock on your front end rather than have it shoved up your back end. And, by the way, you delievered my pizza last time in 33 minutes. I want my $3 refund.
Dear Manwhore and Manwhore Fans:
I am amused to see this fire still burning some months later. Obviously, you and your fans seek out the lone piece of press your band received and return to it again and again. Reading through these comments, it seems that you guys will ramble on about anything besides the quality of the music itself. The name calling is particularly witty. I’m not offended, but I want to just point out that most of what I wrote was a comment on the product, not the personnel, but now the gloves come off. And I will now proceed to show you why Manwhore is the worst fucking band, possibly ever.
As much as I’d love an 80′s style Battle of the Bands, I am not in a band, but I have the usual industry connections and know the scene. More importantly, I am a member of the paying public that goes to shows and buys CDs regularly. I get a lot of demos thrown my way. I can tell you there are 19 year old kids in Calabasas doing more interesting things than Manwhore. Wrap your head around that for a second. OK, let’s move on.
First off, a clarification on the whole band name thing, as your fans seem to be fixated on that issue. My point was not that a band name can’t be nonsensical in order to be successful–god knows Hootie and the Blowfish is about the worst fucking name ever–but that your band name CANNOT HAVE THE WORD “WHORE” in it. Any idiot should know that. Got it? I somehow don’t see Best Buy making up one of those divider cards with MANWHORE on it. But you guys are not aiming for Best Buy, you will no doubt reply, rebels that you are.
So you guys “are not about the scene,” rock n’ roll is “not a club,” don’t have anything to do with “taking yourself seriously,” and it’s all just about “having a good time.” This defense of benign intentions (if it is one at all) is really weak. If you don’t take it seriously, then please keep it in your Van Nuys apartment. Bottom line: You don’t subject paying audiences to something you don’t take seriously. Unless that audience is only your friends, family and co-workers. In which case, they are just humoring you.
So you played to 250. (And it doesn’t look like you’re playing much these days at all.) But regardless, you can play to 25,000 in Madison Square Garden and your music will still be unintelligent, cliché rock. Do you see how you can’t make a direct correlation between numbers and quality? The list of shitty entertainment that draws millions of fans is long. I’ll spare you.
Let’s look at a recent local band success story, She Wants Revenge. I personally can’t stand them, but they are a textbook example of how it helps to know the current scene in order to make it. Last year, while you might have been playing to 250 at the Whisky, they were playing to 25 at the Silverlake Lounge. On paper, you guys might have seemed like the more successful band back then. But they had a plan. They were honing their shit, focusing on a specific audience with a specific genre sound. I think you know the rest. They are currently playing 1,000 seaters and festivals across the states.
As I said earlier, this criticism is not a personal thing. The musical product you offer is shit, but I’d have no problem with you guys moving a sofa for me. I’d even offer you a beer for your troubles. Just do us a favor: Hang up the guitars and raise your kids right. You missed your shot, but that’s OK, most do.
Now that’s a mouthful, Manwho! I think you already know the losanjealous pro-Manwhore position (hell, that’s why I wrote the original story in the first place), so I won’t debate you over this. But you do make some points here I am sure our readers will want to weigh in on. I hope you don’t mind, but I have copied your entire comment to a new posting. The debate can now rage on here:
http://www.losanjealous.com/2006/02/02/manwho-responds-to-manwhore-and-their-fans/
Absolutely hilarious. Yeah, The Blood Arm!
As far as bands that have won LA Weekly awards, try The Prix (Class of 2005) and Rolling Blackouts (Best Rock Band). Can find the CityBeat awards…
http://www.myspace.com/theprix
http://www.myspace.com/rollingblackouts
Sorry Manwhore. You guys are definetly doin’ your thang, but you’re askin’ to be ridiculed.
TO,
DEAR SIR,
I AM AAKASH GUPTA MY AGE IS 12 YEARS FROM AGRA (INDIA).I WANT TO JOIN YOUR GROUP IN PLAYING GUITAR AS I AM LEARNING GUITAR FROM 5 YEARS.I HAVE DONE MANY PROGRAMS IN INDIA WHICH WAS VERY APPRECIATED.WHAT ARE THE REQUIREMENTS TO JOIN YOUR GROUP.
WAITING OF YOUR REPLY. THANK YOU.
Aakash, can I interest you in an internship?
2Blue aka Tirthankar Poddar,vocalist of Zedde raped my wife and fathered my kid.I’m so thankful to him since I am impotent.
2Blue aka Tirthankar Poddar,vocalist of Zedde
raped me 4 times before ejaculating on Claver. (2Blue is gay as you all know)
Call me at [REDACTED] or [REDACTED] to book a night with me. Charges: $100 / night
The song Cake and Cock was awesome. I loved the playfulness of the song as well as having a beat you can jam out to. As for all the haters out there, keep on hatin’ because for the mere fact that you have to try and discourage the bands relevance just shows the jealousy of your own defeat…. Sucks to be you, but I’m sure the band loves the free publicity.