A to Z Starts with P

It’s 11:24 pm on Sunday night, and the Patrón hangover has just now worn off. I put the 3121 CD back on; attempting to work up a black enough sweat to recap last night’s partying at Prince’s house.

Yes. That Prince. The Purple One.

So in honor of Prince’s creative usage of the English language and singular letters, I’ve chosen to review the night’s events with an A-to-Z list.

A- Attention to detail: 3121 purple doormats, 3121 cocktail napkins, 3121 outfits for the wait staff, purple entry carpet, purple-chalked pool cues…

B- Bathroom antics: My goal was to text as many people as possible from Prince’s bathroom. Not only did I manage that, but I also got this pic of Prince’s mirrored bathroom and the Baby Wipes a thoughtful Purple One set out for his sweaty partygoers. (And I’ll admit it. I looked through all of the drawers and cabinets in the bathroom, finding very little of interest except these weird ball things and a purple hand towel.)

C- Celeb-sandwich: We provided a lovely, yet slightly jaded filling for the bread made from David Duchovny, Angela Basset, Sharon Stone, Hugh Dancy and a guy in a metallic purple leather jacket who we thought was Kenny Rogers.

D- Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough: A fierce cover played by the Purple One… made me question whether Michael was really the right man for the job.

E- Elevators: Safely hidden from Sherwanied bouncers, we snapped some schweet shots in one of Prince’s elevators. With the fusion of purple, O(+> and heart mirrors, I felt loved.

F- Floor stage: The “stage” was level with the floor (okay, it was the floor). Stupid floor stage. I spent ¾ of the concert looking at Mulder and the back of my friend’s head. I couldn’t see a damn thing. I did catch a couple glimpses of the twin backup singers/dancers. The crowd was evenly split between people who were really into it and people who were really into being at Prince’s house. Fortunately, the floor-stage set up probably prevented the Purple One from seeing that only half of the crowd was waving their hands in the air. (Though the number of people singing to “Kiss” was irritatingly out of control.)

G- Glade candles: During the concert, the thick raspberry (beret?) scent, mixed with the smell of sweat and swanky booze nearly did my head in. Plus, my shoes were really, really uncomfortable.

H- Hair design: What Prince experience would be complete without a carefully styled coiffure? And to top it off, when he came back to the concert room to mess around on the drum kit, his hair design was covered by a silk scarf. Always use protection.

I- Ice: Prince wasn’t wearing nearly enough. Though my ?th drink of the evening (in this stylish blue plastic cup- how colloquial) sure had plenty. Ahem.

J- Jokes: Who knew the Purple One was so darned funny? In addition to mocking the Lakers and talking about his “crib” (in seriousness), he commented that one of the audience members was “working up a mixed sweat”. Zing!

K- Kleptos: Who wouldn’t pocket this wicked cocktail napkin?? Technically, taking home a free napkin isn’t really stealing. Neither is taking home one of the cocktail glasses (wasn’t me!). Still, I think stuffing Prince’s purple hand towel down the back of your pants is both ungrateful and uncalled for. (And yes, guy in the suit, I saw you do it while you were talking to me. The bathroom was mirrored…)

L- Liner notes: You know all those pictures in the 3121 liner notes? Yeah, that’s totally the house. I moseyed through pages 3-6, 15-16, 25-26, and the cover.

M- “Method” brand hand soap: It’s from Target. Enough said.

N- Napkin note: At one point in the wee hours of the morning, we decided that we should write a thank-you note to the Purple One. Lacking both a pen and paper, we borrowed a cocktail napkin, and magically found a pen in the bathroom (it’s a house of magic, I tell you). We sneakily hid it behind one of the framed photos of his dancers in the room on page 3-4 of the liner notes… so now some cleaning lady will find a crumpled napkin that reads “Prince- Thanks for the good times & memories… I’ll never forget it… You rule. Loved your hat. Love, Kim, KA & Lauren” and promptly throw it away. It’s the thought that counts.

O- Open Bar: Patrón was the (sponsored?) drink of the evening, though I didn’t make proper use of the free expensive alcohol until later on. The bartenders (all ladies in classy 3121 attire) were incredibly nice, generous and helpful, and we proceeded to dump the entire contents of our wallets into their tip bowls. I also managed to drink my body weight (plus the combined weight of the entire Losanjealous staff) in Patron and gin. Cheers.

P- Patrón/Purple/Prince: All of these have pretty much been covered, but I must say that Patron is delicious, there was purple everywhere (purple carpet, purple elevator, purple pool table and on and on) and Prince wore an amazing white bodysuit/cowboy hat/giant sunglasses combo. (P could also stand for the unplayed Pussy Control… my favorite Prince song, besides Bat Dance.)

Q- Quixotic: I’m not going to lie. I only know this word because of LiveJournal’s moods. But I looked it up, and I’m pretty sure it’s applicable to Prince.

R- Race for food: We left at 5 am, absolutely starving and in need of some overpriced, pretentious food, so of course, we head for Mel’s, which happened to be full of post-Prince-partygoers. (My severe hunger was partially caused by the fact that I hadn’t eaten anything prior, in hopes of drinking champagne out of glasses with chocolate handles… chocolate handles that I would’ve eaten, despite my social etiquette.)

S- Swag: After accidentally getting off the Princelevator on the wrong floor, we found ourselves outside of the house. Heading back to the front, we walked past the heavily guarded swag table. Ginormous round purple velvet boxes beckoned us… but the guys with earpieces made us go away.

T- Target: More or less, the sole source of my wardrobe. Though fiscally wise, it left me feeling somewhat unswanky. But my shoes were kickass. Bangladesh.

U- Upholstery: I’ll give you one guess as to the color of nearly every piece of fabric in the house (if confused, please see entry for “P”). This pillow was one of my faves.

V- Van: We pulled up in a busted Nissan (with an unpainted hood, bumper and side panel), passed the keys to the valet, and sauntered to the end of the line. Our names were checked and we stood shivering in the cold until a giant gray camper-type minivan backed down the driveway, and the doors opened. Confused and impressed, we climbed in, sat gingerly on the ridiculously plush leather seats, and were driven to the doorway approximately 8 feet away. At this point, I knew it was going to be a wicked night.

W- Wasted: My state of existence for the entire night/morning. Also what I kept writing in text messages (“I’m wasted at Prince’s house!” “I’m wasted in Prince’s bathroom!” etc, etc). Oddly enough, the number of celebrity sightings increased hand-in-hand with level of intoxication, so I just kept on drinking, hoping to find Carrot Top.

X- X-treme: I tried really hard not to cop out on this one by using a word that doesn’t start with X, but Prince does it, so why can’t I? To be x-act, this was the most x-citingly x-treme thing I’ve ever, ever done. Without x-ception.

Y- “Y’all like my crib?”: Which is what the Purple One asked us all between songs. I didn’t need to wait for “three” to scream like a white lady.

Z- Zero: As in, the number of cooler things I could’ve done on a Saturday night.

To recap:
Things gained: bragging rights
Things lost: some dignity
Things stolen: 3 “3121” cocktail napkins, a cocktail glass
Things witnessed stolen: a purple hand towel from the bathroom
Celebs seen/head butted/talked to/sweated on by: David Duchovny, Hugh Dancy, Angela Basset, Sharon Stone, Jude Law, Michelle Branch/Vanessa Carlton (I think?), Kenny Rogers (?), Elvis Costello (?), lots of people I whose names I don’t know, The Purple One
Songs played by Prince that I can remember: 3121, Black Sweat, Purple Rain, Lolita, Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough, What Have You Done For Me Lately, Play That Funky Music White Boy, Kiss, Satisfied, another song with a lot of screaming
Number of drinks drunk: No fucking clue. Though they were all either Patrón or gin and tonics, I do remember that.
Number of people I texted from the bathroom: 5 (including my two friends who were there with me).
Hilarious jokes made by the Purple One: 2
Number of references to Prince lyrics made in this article: 6

Final conclusion: You were right, Prince–3121 WAS where the purple party b.