French Kicks @ Troubadour: The Snack Bar Review

Last week I found myself at the Troubadour again, this time to see French Kicks and Scissors for Lefty. My review follows…

the public menu


  • There is a snack bar inside the Troubadour.
  • The snack bar is run by a man who can initially come across as angry or hostile.
  • The hostility may be a byproduct of standing inside a glass-walled snack bar and being stared at incredulously by indie rock-loving assholes every night of the week.
  • Do not be fooled. Mostly he is just bored.
  • The snack bar looks and operates very similarly to the bookstore you had in junior high school. But this joint also sells smokes.
  • The Troubadour is a non-smoking establishment.
  • Sometimes the angry&bored man gets to take a break. A different angry&bored man spells him on these nights. (See fig. 2 below)

The French Kicks Corn Dog Experience

  • There are giant bags of chips displayed on a shelf inside the snack bar. I asked my angry&bored man if we could purchase a giant bag of the chips. No dice. No sale.
  • I ordered the corn dog, a single-serve bag of Fiery Habanero Doritos™ (1g sat. fat) and two spiral notebooks.
  • The corn dog was dropped in oil and fried for a not inconsiderable period of time.
  • The corn dog was then removed from oil, heat-tested via the hand method and placed on the griddle. (!?)
  • The corn dog was flipped multiple times on the griddle and spanked down with a spatula.
  • Meanwhile the French Kicks were rocking out. They sounded good.
  • Eventually I got the corn dog in my hand. I slathered it with mustard. Then I spied it: BBQ Sauce. Top shelf, right kitchen wall. A must. “BBQ Sauce Please”
  • Angry&bored man was somewhat put off by this request but eventually acquiesced.
  • The dog which had been fried in a vat of oil, then patted down on a griddle, had a frozen core.

angry man snack bar