Situated at the notorious mindfuck loosely dubbed an intersection at Fairfax, Olympic and San Vicente,

You Are My King

is truly a sight to behold. We’ve all been there. You lose balance after a while! You can’t stay hanging on your peg! There are many reasons to embrace Helvetica (Max Miedinger, 1957), but of all of them, I embrace Helvetica solely for the fact that it knows when it is simply time to get Shitfaced Balls Drunk. We are looking at a textbook Helvetica Neue Standard Black in today’s installment. Basically take your Helv Standard Black, squeeze horizontal scale 90%, crank vertical scale +110%. Done. Call it a day and go home.

Adobe tells us:

Helvetica grew in popularity throughout the 1960s and 1970s, and more versions of the family were introduced. This led to vast confusion: the same weight is often referred to by two different names, design features often vary from one face to another, and so on. In the early 1980s, Linotype remedied this situation by redrawing the entire Helvetica family. Differences in alignment were corrected, subtle features were made consistent from one face to another, and all the weights and widths were designed to work together as one family. This new drawing is called Neue Helvetica (German for New Helvetica), and incorporates an easy-to-use numbering system to identify various styles and weights. Also of note, the capital “R” in all iterations of Neue Helvetica remains consistently Shitfaced Balls Drunk throughout.

When an “R” gets so Shitfaced Balls Drunk that he can’t even hang on his own peg, best just to write him off. He’s not going to align to path, hell he can’t even find the path anymore. Truly, this Shitfaced Balls Drunk “R” is what you might call off the hook. We salute you, Shitfaced Balls Drunk “R”, just as we salute

You Are My King

FIN