Albert ‘Honeybaked’ Hams Jr: A Side-By-Side Primer

Albert Hams Jr

I hung around
On the planet mabel
She tried to stand
But she was not able

Holy bittersweetastic semi-precious candy-striped fancypants and the like, does anything sound better than Hams Jr covering Frank Black? Don’t answer. The answer is NO. Break me off a piece of that again dad, that was a stone cold solid you slipped me. Twice.

I caught Hams Jr at the Ritz Theatre in Austin, during south by southwest. Caught him again last Monday night at the House of Blues. Live And Direct From The Sunset Strip! Home to the juice! The razzle! The dazzle! That palpable “industry-heavy” vibe smacks me even before I walk in the back door. Cringe-inducing? Not tonight. It’s House of Blues time. Almost bragging, I’d told [redacted] from [redacted label], “House of Blues, man. Last time I was here was nearly seven years ago. They wheeled John Lee Hooker out onto the stage in a wheelchair and prodded him with a cane until he stood up. He died a month later. I have no regrets with that track record.”

John Lee is a tough act to follow, no two ways about it Hams, but you treated me right. Yes you did, sir. Questionably informative side-by-side comparison of two Albert Hammond, Jr gigs after the jump.

Hams Jr @ The Ritz, Austin, SXSW, March 2007 Hams Jr @ The House of Blues, Sunset Strip, May 2007
Published set time: 1:00am
Actual set time: 1:45am
Published set time: 10:15pm
Actual set time: 10:15pm
Visual: Har Mar is in the house and up in the action Visual: Eyes focused onstage for duration to avoid any potential Har Mar sighting whatsoever
Partial recreation of next morning’s txtmsg log, courtesy Cingular Wireless:

Victor: Bald dude from Office completely surrounded by hotties!
Alicia: Where?
Ron: Across street @ amy winehouse. Walkmn singr infront of me.
Me: You’ll never get back in, fool!
Jeannette: (to Alicia) Playing spin the bottle with The Cops. Please come.
Me: (to Alicia) Hams Jr, Ritz
Alicia: Just came inside where are you guys?
Jeannette: (to ???)Whgch? (sic)
Me: Back bar, surrounded by Midnight Movies

Partial recreation of next morning’s txtmsg log, courtesy Cingular Wireless:

The night is surprisingly txtmsg-free and thusly a cause for unabashed celebration!!!

Things overheard:

Belligerent marketing director from [redacted] magazine:
(shouted in ear)
Do you have any blow!?

[Redacted] from [Redacted label]:
Oh my gawd we gotta get the fuck outta here! I just stole the SXSW Hams Jr Wall Plaque!!

Things overheard:

Guy #1:
Play ’It Never Rains In Southern California!’

In closing, I recently realized something about the chorus of “In Transit”, one of my favorite songs off the Hams Jr solo album. Once you get past the Strokes-heavy intro, the chorus shares the same key, same tempo, same time signature and same chord progression as “Some Guys Have All The Luck” by one Rod Stewart. Scientifically verifiable. Hams, Baby: If you must bite classic progression chops you could do far, far worse than the 80s Rod canon. Approved.

rod not the mod

Some Guys Have All The Luck