By DF - Monday December 14th 2009 |

Prologue. Marina Del Rey CourtYard Marriott, Sandalwood Conference Room. We start in the midst of a heated tete-a-tete between Losanjealous jefe LaVerne Casagrande and mercurial writer DF.
DF: Jesus God, do I have to, LaVerne?
LC: Look, DF, our readership among the youth demographic is plummeting. All the research shows that young people want fantasy—Larry Potter, or the Middle Ages crap acne-ridden teenage misfits go for, or that unfathomably creepy vampire thing aimed at oversexed tweeny girls. We need to address this market, so we want you to write this month’s derby coverage in the style of one of those teen-fantasy genres.
DF: No way, LaVerne. That sounds retarded, and I’m not going to compromise my authorial integrity for a cheap commercial ploy.
LC: Well, what if we sweetened the deal by offering you a coupon for thirty-five cents off a Tommy’s chiliburger?
Yea, Lords and Ladies of the merrie village of Los Angeles! Let the Bard DF tell you a tale! Tis a tale of brave wheeled damsels who wage battle at yon Doll Factory. Hardy of spirit and fleet of skate, these ladies circumnavigate ye olde banked track, laughing the face of Dame Fortune (and her irascible cousin, Lady Brokenleg, who DF found to be a real bitch) in search of glory, fame, and sweet, sweet victory. Read on, and you shall hear the story of a bout so scintillating that ‘twould cause even the stoutest knight to defecate in his suit of armor, and the veil of the daintiest maiden to burst into flames and reduce her to a naught but a heap of ash.
»continue reading DF Sells Out: LA Derby Dolls Championship Bout @ the Doll Factory, 12/5/09



