Wesley Snipes is being sentenced for tax evasion today. He faces up to three years in jail and a massive fine. Will he do time?

In the defendant Wesley Snipes, the court is presented with a wealthy, famous and inveterate tax scofflaw. If ever a tax offender was deserving of being held accountable to the maximum extent for his criminal wrongdoing, Snipes is that defendant. (Govt sentencing rec via CNN)

ITEM: All Tomorrow’s Parties is promoting the first My Bloody Valentine shows in London this June. (Daily Swarm via BV)

ITEM: MBV will headline the ATP Festival in upstate New York in September. (ibid.)

ITEM: ATP promoters have recently teamed with Pitchfork for “Don’t Look Back” nights at the Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago. Said nights feature bands such as Public Enemy, Mission of Burma and Sonic Youth performing entire albums. (ibid; P4k)

ITEM: P4k’s Friday, July 18 lineup:

Pitchfork Music Festival and All Tomorrow’s Parties present “Don’t Look Back”
Public Enemy performing It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
Mission of Burma performing Vs.
+ one more to be announced (P4k)

Somebody over at Pitchfork either doesn’t seem to think this’ll happen, or is playing coy. I say do the math. Take it away, but responsibly so.

***UPDATE, 4.25: While I am (arguably foolishly) adamant that surprises could still happen, the third Friday lineup has now been revealed: SEBADOH performing Bubble and Scrape

Are you as tired of Coachella speculation as I’ve intended for you to be yet? If not give me time, but if so, take comfort in the fact that we’ve a 100% Coachella-free baconwrapped hot dog article hitting the stands later today.

RIGHT NOW, THOUGH: Today’s rampant speCoachellulation: Flight of the Conchords. They’re scheduled for an instore appearance at Amoeba Records on April 24 - the day before the festival - yet their official Los Angeles gigs aren’t until the end of May - at the Orpheum - a Goldenvoice venue. Do the math. Having seen Tenacious D appear between the Strokes and the Foo Fighters in Indio back in ‘02, I’m responsibly predicting a similar surprise this year. Discuss.

The hole-in-the-poster which at one time led to rampant very little speculation as to what new headliner might fill its gap has now been officially shored up over at Coachella.com, with the unpronounceable-in-any-tongue symbol of Prince pointing menacingly now toward the surname of Friday’s headliner. (Is that thing loaded?) Behold!:

Long the lone hold out for a complete Jane’s reunion, Eric Avery has relented and will re-join the band for a special NME awards show to be held at the El Rey a week from today, April 23. They are receiving the NME’s prestigious Godlike Genius Award that has been previously awarded to the likes of The Clash, New Order, Primal Scream and Manic Street Preachers. With this news coming on the heels of yesterday’s Mötley Crüe tour news, the nation’s eyeliner supply is sure to take a devestating hit, so be advised to stock up now, ladies.

Given the timing of the announcement, it would hardly be irresponsible to speculate that Jane’s Addiction could possibly play Coachella, which begins the very next night. In fact, it would irresponsible to not speculate this eventuality, given the circumstantial evidience. So, being the responsible types that we are, we are in fact speculating here regarding the medium-to-high probability that the reunited Jane’s Addiction may likely perform at Coachella possibly.