Celeb Centre Opens Its Doors To You In Exchange For $17 And Your Home Address
Come on, fess up…how many times have you been sitting there at the Bourgeois Pig or that sushi joint on Franklin, gazing across the street at the Addams-Family-Mansion-looking Scientology Celebrity Centre, fixating particularly on the scrolly penmanship on the words ’Celebrity Centre’ and thinking…Why is it ’Centre’ and not ’Center’? Just what in the Hubbard Almighty goes on in there!? Are there tunnels to it? Mayhap express tunnels from the Magic Castle and Disneyland Castle? Do Mcdonald’s execs qualify as celebrities? How do I get in, for the love of Hubbard!!!????
I’m pleased to announce this Wednesday you’ll have the chance to not only peep the interior but get motivated, Tony Robbins-style, for your new career in voiceovers at Nancy Cartwright’s voiceover seminar. For a meagre $17 you’ll also get a hefty L. Ron Hubbard Charcoal-Starting Booklet for your next backyard BBQ. Hey, $17 wouldn’t even get you LACC parking at Tony Robbins. This is a bargain and then some.
If anybody goes to this event, please comment back with details. I’d go myself but Wednesday is actually one of five-to-six days a week I’ve committed to exploring uncharted dive bars in greater Los Angeles. You understand my dilemma.