Photo Op: The Dungeons and Dragons House
By Ryan - Tuesday December 06th 2005 |
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This one is almost too easy. I mean, the building actually makes fun of itself without me having to write anything witty. Fine, I’ll take a stab. Hello, we are 20 Westminster, Venice Beach. The name of our building is ‘El Bordello Alexandra’ (You really do need to click in to the close-ups: one, two). Our landlord is the dungeonmaster from the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. The laundry is in a gilded cage on the roof bedecked with jewels and encrusted with red rubies, blue hearts, yellow moons and purple horseshoes. To enter the laundry room you must roll a nine or higher and forfeit 20 stamina points. We are all mildly psychic. We all have cats that are psychic. The guy at the end of the hall has a pet dragon. The guy at the end of the hall on two is a dragon. We are situated two doors away from the Morrison Apartments where Jim allegedly wrote a few Doors tunes and partied on the roof [photo]. We all wear armor to bed, excepting dungeonmaster.
I used to live in this neighborhood. One street over, to be precise. When I first moved around the corner from these jokers the building looked relatively normal, but it had already begun to show warning signs of the Dragon within. The lot next door was valued at nearly $2 million. From what I understand, current appraisals now have that lot at less than $350k due to egregious centralized dragonfactor. This brings up a great question: Where would you rather live, 20 Westminster or the House of David™s? Don’t answer that. Assume that 20 Westminster happens upon House of David™s on the Fields of Azeroth. 20 Westminster boasts 15 strength, 21 stamina, 28 intelligence and 27 magicks. House of David™s claims 26 strength, 22 stamina, 14 intelligence and 24 magicks. Who wins?!??? Roll, damn you.
Bonus Photos
Time for Edgemar to (literally) roll out the yearly Shopping Cart Christmas Tree™. Nothing says Christmas like the color grey. Gehry might actually let you add a bit of color for the sake of the holidays, guys. Just don’t make it look too polished. Use Best Buy carts or something.
Life is a bowl of cherries at the Galley
Feed the robots
I wonder if the House of David mourned the recent loss of the Statue Shack…
Neither house makes their saving throw versus crushing blow.
Oh my. That’s a place alright. I don’t even know what to say. Yes, I do…I’m glad I didn’t run into it when I was over there the other day. I would have had to stand on the sidewalk and laugh for 5 or 10 minutes.
You have unintentionally revealed your hidden nerd past. Nobody could make that many gratuitous Dungeons & Dragons references without being a close personal friend of Gary Gygax.
There are many decent, respectable folk who have 20-sided dice somewhere in their past–sometimes, the not-too-distant past. (Me, it’s been at least 8 years, but I’m 23.)
[...] There’s something in the air. ‘Tis the magic season wee Angelenos, boys and girls alike, wait for all year. Finally the morning arrives. After a fitful sleep they rise extra early, fresh-faced and twinkly-eyed. They grab a cup of joe and a smoke, get strapped into their carseat and are unceremoniously hauled by mom and dad over to Hancock Park to stare in amazement at the House of Christmas® David™s. Bump House of Christmas® David™s up to 36 intelligence and 31 magicks immediately. ‘Tis the season. 20 Westminster stands no chance. [...]
actually, this house symbolises to me the very
best la can offer – commitment to art, even kitsch
art, and every building in the world should be as
expressive.
[...] El Bordello Alexandra Venice Beach is home to many things. Dragon decor is but one. This apartment complex on Westminster grew increasingly more and more foolish during the 2.72 years in which I lived [...]
[...] wanted to live in a D&D house? Don’t give up hope. Everything is possible and some delusional landlord has proved [...]
I am the owners nephew and this just shows that people just love to bash what they dont understand. you guys think you can make an apartment building look cooler than this? also about that lot being worth 2 mil and now its like 30 k thats just fuckin stupid to say. I’ve seen the lot, its not such a bad lot to begin with. If it depreciated, its almost impossible that it could have gone that low. 30 K?! What are you a retard, or you think we are retards? This is venice beach, theres no way that lot could be 30 k. also, el bordello alexandra never depreciated. when Tony bought the apartment building it cost him 500 k now the apartment is worth over 2.5 mil. when he first bought it, the building was very rundown. when his crew knocked down the walls to put new ones up and to put filler inside, they found really old documents stating prices for sex. Hence the name. Tony wanted to make this apartment building an art piece for venice. He got local artists to paint the mural/portraits, and the gargoyles are a very important part of history, they were meant to protect the people inhabiting the place they guarded. also you can make fun of him all you want but hes the one who’s getting rich. for the 2 bedroom up top he charges 3k a month.
Thanks for the backstory Andrew – the tip about the sex prices is fantastic. But please, find a sense of humor! If I didn’t appreciate your uncle’s astoundingly, unbelievably goofy-looking building on some level, I wouldn’t have written about it.
Even Norwood Young has a sense of humor, and I’ve written about his house more times than I care to remember. Finally, I wasn’t suggesting your uncle’s lot had decreased in value: I suggested he’s probably devaluing the neighbors’ lots.
[...] OLDEN TIMES: THE PRE-CENTAUR YEARS » Photo Op: The Dungeons and Dragons House [...]
[...] just an apartment building on Westminster, in Venice Beach, CA Here’s some websites about it: Photo Op: The Dungeons and Dragons House Intense [...]
I was just at Venice Beach and was amazed by this house. I guess “normal” people who wear button-up shirts and khaki shorts will make fun of it, but anyone who can appreciate gothic art will love it. And I bet even the ones who think it looks stupid took pictures of it. Even with all the weirdos and craziness of Venice Beach this house stands out, which is what I’m sure the owner intended. I think it’s bad-ass and would love to live there. 3 grand a month is a little steep for me, but seems like a bargain to live right on Venice Beach.