Photo Op: The Dungeons and Dragons House
This one is almost too easy. I mean, the building actually makes fun of itself without me having to write anything witty. Fine, I’ll take a stab. Hello, we are 20 Westminster, Venice Beach. The name of our building is ’El Bordello Alexandra’ (You really do need to click in to the close-ups: one, two). Our landlord is the dungeonmaster from the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. The laundry is in a gilded cage on the roof bedecked with jewels and encrusted with red rubies, blue hearts, yellow moons and purple horseshoes. To enter the laundry room you must roll a nine or higher and forfeit 20 stamina points. We are all mildly psychic. We all have cats that are psychic. The guy at the end of the hall has a pet dragon. The guy at the end of the hall on two is a dragon. We are situated two doors away from the Morrison Apartments where Jim allegedly wrote a few Doors tunes and partied on the roof [photo]. We all wear armor to bed, excepting dungeonmaster.
I used to live in this neighborhood. One street over, to be precise. When I first moved around the corner from these jokers the building looked relatively normal, but it had already begun to show warning signs of the Dragon within. The lot next door was valued at nearly $2 million. From what I understand, current appraisals now have that lot at less than $350k due to egregious centralized dragonfactor. This brings up a great question: Where would you rather live, 20 Westminster or the House of David™s? Don’t answer that. Assume that 20 Westminster happens upon House of David™s on the Fields of Azeroth. 20 Westminster boasts 15 strength, 21 stamina, 28 intelligence and 27 magicks. House of David™s claims 26 strength, 22 stamina, 14 intelligence and 24 magicks. Who wins?!??? Roll, damn you.
Time for Edgemar to (literally) roll out the yearly Shopping Cart Christmas Tree™. Nothing says Christmas like the color grey. Gehry might actually let you add a bit of color for the sake of the holidays, guys. Just don’t make it look too polished. Use Best Buy carts or something.
Life is a bowl of cherries at the Galley
Feed the robots