The Great Book of Los Angeles Locksmith Shacks is nearing completion, but our photography is still lacking. You can help! Have a photo of a Los Angeles-based locksmith shack to share? Send it to me, or upload it to the Los Angeles Locksmith Shack group on Flickr today. My five favorite submissions within the next two weeks will all receive one random, all-new cd (nothing cruddy - scout’s honor) from the Losanjealous music library. You will also be notified of compensation options, should your submission eventually be chosen for offline publication. Godspeed.

» What is a Locksmith Shack?
» Where might I find a Locksmith Shack?
» Locksmith Shacks: Are they dangerous?

Coachella Prince-inclusive poster watching. I’m in the thick of it, man. I’m waist deep in that shit. When Prince was first announced we had the gaping hole. Next, we had the hole shored up with a loaded Prince symbol pointing at the Johnson. Today, the third official Prince-inclusive Coachella poster spotted over at Coachella.com has all three headliners right up there at the top, where they belong. But wait! What’s this? Prince gets his unpronouncable-in-any-tongue symbol, Roger gets a “Dark Side of the Moon” preface, yet Jack gets diddly-squat above his name? I’m Jack Johnson, I’m laid back, no preface needed? Say it isn’t so. I would like to see a tiny pair of reversed white cartoon flip-flops above the name, please. That, or “Playing His Hit Songs from the Curious George Soundtrack” would look mighty fine up top as well. Your choice and you still have time to squeeze out one more poster before Friday, guys. Let’s do this. (BONUS TIP: Jack goes to the left. The other two headliners rotate to the right and then you have all three headliners actually under their respective performance dates…)

» DEVELOPING: Coachella Poster-Makers Shore Up Gaping Hole
» Coachella Website Unveils New Lineup Poster With Prince, Gaping Hole

My thanks to Sung, whose eagle eye found today’s iteration

I do not know when the Centaur first arrived in Venice Beach. I do know that He is there now, and He is on the rooftop. To be sure, we’ve a not inconsiderable number of large-scale additions newly assembled and clamoring for the unsuspecting pedestrian’s eyeball atop El Bordello Alexandra. Witness: an additional fleet of gargoyles (now with more evil!); a ridiculous-looking Neptune with a merman’s body, trident and two chained beasts approximating dolphins; a pair of uncomfortably large devils threatening to encroach on the neighbor’s roof, a few scattered knights-in-armor…they are all so much noise, for the life-sized*, heavily-armed, Son-of-God-faced and abs-of-bronze inclusive Centaur is the clearcut breadwinner, and at this point it is evident the owner is now merely trying to one-up himself, having laid to waste all external competition long ago. A daunting task, but I feel confident in saying the body of work at 20 Westminster is far from finished.

Your Centaur closeup after the jump. (Four arrows!)
»continue reading El Bordello Alexandra Now Has A Centaur

PROPERTY ADDRESS
5225 Figueroa Mountain Rd , Los Olivos, CA 93441

OUTSTANDING DEBT
$24,525,906.61

STATUS
Foreclosure. Auction Pending

FACILITIES INCLUDED
Mansion (equipped), Lake Neverland, Flamingo Island Train Station, Zip Line, Michael Jackson Museum, Britto Art Exhibit, Nature Preserve, Basketball Court, Teepee Village, Bumper Cars, Movie Theatre, Amphitheatre, Club Kiss (empty), Massage Therapy Center (empty), Aviary (empty), Petting Zoo (empty), Serpentarium (empty). McConnell’s franchise on site (empty). Expansive 2,800 acre property. Mansion equipped with infrared security device(s).

ASKING PRICE
Property auction originally slated for March 19 has now been postponed to May 14. »continue reading Help Us Buy Neverland Ranch On May 14

PROPERTY ADDRESS
5225 Figueroa Mountain Rd , Los Olivos, CA 93441

OUTSTANDING DEBT
$24,525,906.61

STATUS
Foreclosure. Auction Pending

FACILITIES INCLUDED
Mansion (equipped), Lake Neverland, Flamingo Island Train Station, Zip Line, Michael Jackson Museum, Britto Art Exhibit, Nature Preserve, Basketball Court, Teepee Village, Bumper Cars, Movie Theatre, Amphitheatre, Club Kiss (empty), Massage Therapy Center (empty), Aviary (empty), Petting Zoo (empty), Serpentarium (empty). McConnell’s franchise on site (empty). Expansive 2,800 acre property. Mansion equipped with infrared security device(s).

ASKING PRICE
Property will go to auction March 19 if outstanding balance is not met. All sponsors and donating parties assisting Losanjealous in acquiring the grounds (in what will be a watershed moment on many levels) will be given an engraved brick in the Losanjealous “Brick of Fame” walk, and two (2) coupons which may be redeemed for a free sundae at McConnell’s on-site (with purchase of one sundae at full price). Phonetxt: Sandalwood Conference Room for more information, or just meet us at the north door of the Santa Barbara County Courthouse, 1100 Anacapa St. in Santa Barbara at 1pm on March 19.

T at Neverland by Jeannette

MORE PLEADING AND MJ ON LJ
» Mr. T Visitor Guide: Neverland Ranch Intervention
» Weekend Getaways: The Neverland Ranch
» Help Us Buy The Capitol Records Tower

News comes from Eater today that a Mcdonald’s in Hacienda Heights has undergone the chain’s first transition (more to follow) into what they hope will now be a more relaxed, Feng Shui’d, Zen-like beef-and-cheese-purchase- inducing atmosphere, inside and out. To be sure, years of serving up beef and those beef-extract-inclusive french fries under the shadow of the Heights’ Hsi Lai (pictured), the nation’s largest Buddhist temple, have had a marked effect on the Hacienda’s hamburger-serving outpost. Mcdonald’s Corporation, bodhisattva to the world’s beef-eating masses if you will, has had a (presumed) longstanding tradition of operating under the Buddhist tenet The greatest quality is seeking to serve others (Atisha, 11th cen.) Let this then be further testament to the awakened purity of the Board of Directors’ collective selfless souls.

Related: My favorite Mcdonald’s site to date remains a true paean to the (Heights-inclusive) SG Valley: http://www.i-am-asian.com/

» Only in SoCal: The Country’s First Feng Shui McDonald’s (Eater)

IF I were to ask you–and I’m not saying that I will ask you, but I’m just speaking hypothetically here–which ubiquitous steakhouse chain restaurant is presently owned by an Australia-based private equity firm, you would–after initially saying, “Why the hell are you asking that? Keep your eyes on the road, you idiot”–likely guess “Uh, Outback,” right? Because nothing quite says “Down Under” like Outback Steakhouse, right? BUT you would be wrong, dead wrong–as wrong as you have ever been about anything in your miserable life. (Outback, ironically, is owned by Florida-based OSI Restaurant Partners, LLC.)

No, it’s SIZZLER. SIZZLER–beloved comfortable well-lit temple of budget friendly surf & turf, Double Malibu Chicken, endless* shrimp, “salad bars” that serve up sweet swirls of soft-serve, and, last but not least, famous cheese toast, physics-defyingly soft and yielding on one side–yet crisp and crunchy on the other (how do they do it?!)–has in fact been under Australian ownership since 2005.

But this can–and must–change. News comes that the Australian Pacific Equity Partners has put Sizzler on the sales block.

Let the campaign begin here. Sizzler–founded right here in Culver City in 1958 by Del and Helen Johnson–must come back home and once again be owned by a proper States-based company, as it should be. God bless Sizzler and God bless America.

Everybody’s favorite singing, blinking, Jetsons-era downtown public art installation deserves a tribute today. Yes? Yes! Please feel free to add your personal ode to Los Angeles’ very own Triforium in the comment section.

Triforium! - A Senryū

I play silly tunes
A homeless man defecates
Temple at Main Street.

FURTHER READING
(wikipedia) (blogdowntown) (eecue) (ruth wallach) (curbed)

Lest he be unceremoniously stricken from the internets like so much background noise, Losanjealous provides these topical, in-the-moment screen captures of Man With Dollhouse On His Head, originally streamed live by Los Angeles’ own TMZ.com at approximately 440pm Pacific Standard Time today.

Loitering aimlessly, the house-hatted gentleman captured the TMZ camera crew’s attention as they prepared to stream numerous choice legal and non-legal words and phrases (”children” “visitation” “not a victory” et al) accompanied by the video image of one Mark Vincent Kaplan, attorney to Kevin Federline, presumably outside of a courthouse.

While it is unclear at press time precisely what the local news organization hoped to glean from the legal and non-legal words spoken by Mr. Federline’s attorney (accompanied by his video image), it remains perfectly clear to the crew on hand - and, broader, the TMZ-viewing world at large - that one man did in fact have a children’s dollhouse strapped to the top of his head for a period of time today.

Source: TMZ

The razing of Kowboyz, a formerly dingy, poorly-lit shack offering overpriced used western wear, boots-as-far-as-the-eye-can-see and a robust serving of Lynchian vibes for anyone brave enough to stumble through its brightly-painted door at 8050 Beverly, occurred yesterday morning. (citysearch) (yelp) (LA Weekly)

After the jump: Kowboyz’ Last Stand.
»continue reading “Kowboyz” Finally Blessed With Merciful Razing

While it is not without some regret we mark the closing of yet another shuttered record shop–albeit in this case, just one outlet of a behemoth chain–this thread is not for maudlin memories, but for Losanjealenos to post updates on the current percent of markdowns and the state of the remaining product as the Sunset Megastore approaches it’s February closure.

We may or may not admit it, but the %-off n influences what we may or may not take home on a sliding scale: i.e., The higher the markdown = the lower our standards = increased willingness to take home some dubious product to plug some gaps in our collections. Of course complicating this is the variable that the longer you hold out on pulling the trigger on a buy, waiting for a higher markdown, the more likely your product is going to be snapped up by others.

The below handy table can help guide your purchases, with an aim to help you snap up what you’re after before the shelves are bare.

Is the current cultural emphasis toward environmental responsibility here to stay, or just a Gore-ified fad? Will we ever be able to breathe clean air in the city of angels or will we be mired in an ever-increasing cloud of CO? BP, the international oil company, shows where they stand on the ecological divide with the creation of the first LEED certified gas station in the country. And where else did they choose to setup shop other than our own car loving, petroleum guzzling, auto-status capital of the world. Wait a second–an oil company touting green architecture and sustainability? Isn’t that like Martha Stewart giving investment advice you may ask? Isn’t that like the Yankees helping the Dodgers (Oh wait–that actually happened.) Before you make up your mind, let’s give BP some credit for spending part of their gazillion profit dollars on a good cause, be it the environment or boost in public relations. Losanjealous took a tour of the premises–code named “Helios House”–to learn more about BP’s efforts.
»continue reading Helios House: Gas Station of the Future?

Of all the content on this website, few posts generate as many passionately eloquent arguments as the individual articles regarding Westside Rentals. Every renter in the city has formed a distinct opinion about the local rental behemoth and Losanjealous has, for better or worse, become the de facto dumping ground for said opinions. (”They’re useless!” “They’re the greatest!” “That last commenter was a plant from WSR!” “Stop calling me a plant because I am totally legit!” “Like hell you are!” And so forth.)

So be it, then. Today we look at one of the company’s nefarious advertising vessels: The Westside Rentals Hearse. Join us as we scrutinize the vehicle’s advertising messages, line-by-line, after the jump.
»continue reading The Westside Rentals Hearse: A Line-By-Line Study

Beck and his wife, Marrisa Ribisi, have purchased a Hancock Park home for $6,750,000. The eclectic rapper/singer, age 37, co-writer of the 90’s alterna-hit “Loser,” apparently is a notable “house flipper”, as reported by the Berg Properties blog. The detailed blog post also points out that TV’s Ross from Friends (David Schwimmer) is now his neighbor, as well as the glaring inaccuracy by the Hot Properties column of placing the home in “West L.A.” when in fact it is in Hancock Park. Whether or not this was intended to preserve Beck’s privacy, was a political ploy to claim Beck as a “Westsider,” or the writer actually considers Hancock Park as “West L.A.”, ultimately can’t be known. Which ever the case, hopefully, with one of LA’s art icons now taking up a Midtown residence in a Hancock Park location, the whole Westside/Eastside debate can be put to rest finally. When it really comes down to it, people mostly buy where they can afford, period.

With a masthead stylistically reminiscent of veteran neighblog Franklin Avenue, the Higland Park-based York Boulevard made a modest entrance into the neighborhood blog realm earlier this month. I was introduced to the site after being forwarded an article entitled Top 10 Street Food Vendors. The site offers a brief mission statement, uncredited to any author:

YORK BLVD. is a blog dedicated to Highland Park and it’s residents. The North East is the best part of L.A. and we’re here to spread the love.

It is always refreshing to find a dedicated, hyper-localized blog in Los Angeles. Here’s hoping the efforts eventually grow into something authoritative regarding Highland Park.

Regarding that aforementioned street vendor list, however: Though it is comforting to see façade favorite Rambo’s Tacos and sporadically available vampiros vendor Tacos Sinaloa get respective nods, I am personally puzzled as to the placement of Estrella in the top slot. Why does everybody like this place so much? »continue reading Northeast Welcomes New Taco-Infused Blog