Bill DeMarco Reviews Some More Bands

Bill DeMarco’s LAMy editor calls me into his office. I’m unfazed.

“Reynaldo Casagrande, as I live and breathe.”

“That’s not my name and you have a new assignment.”

“Don’t tell me, I’m getting too close again? Too personal? Too involved?”

“Wrong. You’re not getting close enough.” He hands me a post-it. “We’ve got a great product tie-in and it involves you reviewing these bands next Wednesday night:”

Plus Minus Equals
The Cups of Coffee

Lawyers Who Used to Be in Rock Bands

“OK. What’s my angle.”

“You will see these bands at the Avalon and you will give them glowing reviews and then you will go backstage and interview The Cups of Coffee. You will tell them how much you liked their set, who are their musical influences, and will they sign some shirts and tote bags.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Are you still here?”

I don’t usually cotton to impudence but chief give running brave fine sachem so I do what the man says.

the bathroomAVALON THEATER
Wednesday, January 18th
9:11 pm

I’m not old enough to be getting too old for this shit. Then it hits me. The Cups of Coffee. I get it. What better guy to interview a band called The Cups of Coffee. Casagrande you jerkoff… How tantalizingly simple-minded. Okay. Okay. I’ll play your game bigshot. I go into the bathroom and rock myself out: tear off the sleeves, cut the tie in half, turn my socks into forearm gauntlets, ring my eyes with eyeliner I steal from this guy’s purse, flip my windbreaker inside out. I am rockness. I make my way to the auditorium. . . .

If you think Bill is actually able to find The Cups and interview them,
text or e-mail “Ending A

If you think Bill gets bored and goes to the bar and orders a Corona,
text or e-mail “Ending B

If you think Bill is dissatisfied with his look and goes back to the bathroom to apply New Wave-style war paint, text or e-mail “Ending C