The Vacation @ Concert of the Beast: The Losanjealous “Interview”

concert of the beastLosanjealous (and photographer Greg Q, who ended up taking NO photographs) rang in the most evil day of the century at The El Rey. “The Concert of the Beast” was a long night of pounding lukewarm beers on a Tuesday for no reason other than the bartender told us it “warded off evil.” We vigorously “warded off evil” during sets by Texas Terri and the Stiff Ones, The Binges, Rock n Roll Soldiers, The Burning Brides, The Icarus Line and our favorites of the night, LA locals The Vacation. We knew if Baphomet would be raised somewhere in LA, it wouldn’t be at the cornball Danzig show but more likely at a Vacation show. Singer Ben Tegel isn’t afraid to shed blood for his audience – and he did.

After their set, the intrepid muckrakers at Losanjealous cornered the band and asked them the important questions. Vacation responses are in red below:

concert of the beastJeannette: Ben, we are going to ask you four quick questions about Los Angeles.
Steve: Uh – ok.
Jeannette: Where is LA’s best coffee?
Steve: My kitchen.
Jeannette: What’s the worst intersection in all of LA.?
Steve: Hollywood and Highland.
Ryan: I’m going to go ask Texas Terri how old she is.
Jeannette: Ben, tell him to leave Texas Terri alone.
Steve: I’m Steve.
Dutch: There is no worse intersection than Fairfax and 6th!

Jeannette: What is the smelliest food in LA?
Steve: Versailles – the one on Venice in West LA. That garlic chicken…
Greg Q: This dj sucks! It’s 6/6/06 and he’s not playing any devil music! What is this sucky music?
Jeannette: That’s “Public Enemy Number One” from Motley Crue’s first record. You’re right though… He should be playing “Shout at the Devil” at least.
Jeannette: So do you have any words for the Devil?
Steve: Homie…
Jeannette: Huh?
Steve: Homie G!
Denny: Peace be with you, devil.
Dutch: Devil…suck this shit.
Ben: Go to hell!
Ryan: Did Texas Terri leave? I’m gonna ask her how old she is.
Jeannette: We’re all going to pretend we don’t know you if you harass Texas Terri.
Greg Q: “I Love Rock & Roll?!!!??” Where’s the dj? I’m gonna go tell him he sucks!
Jeannette: He’s up there. If I were you I’d leave him alone. I think it’s Nikki Sixx.
Ryan: You worry too much about pissing people off. Now, where’s Texas Terri?
Jeannette: I’m just trying to conduct an interview with a modicum of professionalism, ok?
Greg Q: (Throwing drink down…) OK, I’m kicking his ass. Where are the stairs?
Jeannette: Didn’t you read the Motley Crue book? Nikki Sixx can kick your ass with one hand.

concert of the beastJeannette: So how was the show tonight different from other shows you’ve played?
Steve: The crowd was on sedatives, it was hot as HELL up there and they didn’t even give us one lousy beer backstage.
Jeannette: Plus you had to stand in line to get into your own show.
Steve: I did not.
Jeannette: I saw you standing in line.
Steve: Are you on sedatives?
Jeannette: That’s not very Rock and Roll, Ben.
Steve: I’m Steve.
Dutch: The show tonight was really sleazy.
Ben: They didn’t give us any damned beer!
Denny: It was hot. Like hell. I sweat more than I drank.
Ryan: So if Texas Terri’s Myspace page says she’s 107 and her Friendster page says she’s 28, how old is she?
Jeannette: Don’t answer that Ben!
Steve: (Sighs and starts walking away…)
Jeannette: Wait! I have one more question to ask you. Are those scars fresh?
Steve: JEANNETTE! Do you know who you’re talking to?

Barbara: Give me a man who looks like he hasn’t had solid food for a week or seen the inside of a shower for a month, who has minus-zero muscle definition and mysterious scars carved on his chest, and some strange pheromone gets released into my bloodstream making me all tingly.

Jeannette: Huh?
Steve: You know I’m Steve, right?
Jeannette: Nuh, uh. You’re Ben.
Ben: You know kimchee smells like dead rats, don’t you? Once my girlfriend and I walked by a dead rat and I said “Honey…someone’s cooking your favorite food.”
Greg Q: Gwen Stefani is NOT devil music!
Denny: Canters is the smelliest food.
Dutch: Fish smells the worst.
Steve: (Lifting up shirt to expose no rockscars but maybe one surgical scar): See?
Jeannette: Oh my god. I’m so confused.
Ryan: I’m totally writing about this! You’re supposed to be The Vacation expert and you can’t even tell the brothers apart!

Barbara: At one point, Ben looked Christ-like, his arms spread out as if on an invisible crucifix (take that, Madonna! at least he LOOKS a little like Christ, for Christ’s sake!) It was then that it all crystallized for me: on 6/6/06, The Vacation played their Concert of the Beast, and instead of revelling in tired old Satanic cliches, they go all Christlike, reminding us of the humanity of the cast-off (Mary Magdalene anyone?) They even go so far as to suggest that the cast-off themselves are Christlike, and capable of a resurrection of their own: “We’re standing on the corner waiting to get born again – as human beings.”

Greg Q: Where’s Nikki Sixx? Let me at him!
Jeannette: (To the real Ben) Are those scars fresh?
Ben: Yeah..
Jeannette: What the f… What happened?
Ben: Oh god. I think they’re infected.
Greg Q: (from somewhere afar…) No Slayer? No Iron Maiden? You’re blowin’ it man!
Jeannette: Ryan, will you please keep Greg Q away from the DJ?
Ryan: After I find Texas Terri.

Barbara: As if to anticipate that someone over-educated and under-employed as myself would read too much into this whole thing, Ben whispered “Don’t think of us–don’t think at all.” God, what’s wrong with me! Rock and roll is not for thinking, it’s for FEELING. Wow, man! I’m having so many mixed emotions and revelations about the Concert of the Beast.

Jeannette: What…bbb… You need to put peroxide on those scars!
Ben: Will you be my mom?