On Being Fired

On Being Fired

gun showOnly in Losanjealous can you be fired by a middle-aged meathead who flaunts his tribal band bicep tattoo, wears shirts that say “Do you have tickets to the gun show?”, and smokes weed all day, as JACK FM ironically plays “Another One Bites the Dust”.

Oh, and the reason I was fired?

I wasn’t aggressive enough.

I was a secretary.

At any rate, I bet they’ll change their tune when they find out I stole my favorite clicky pen.

And their weed.

So bring it, Losanj, because while misery loves company, misery prefers* company that laughs at the pain of others. Gimme your worst. Best story wins my now coveted last package of Ramen.

*Misery would also really like another job. Just sayin’.