The Burned-Out Blogger Award
Did you ever just get sick and absolutely tired of blogging…and/or blogs in general? All these voices man. Voices voices voices with inflated self-importance shouting out there to god knows who. Fine. Blogs get the word out fast, awesome. Blogs report the news first. Power! How many blogs do you know that have a full-time fact-checking staff? (Besides us.)
Does your grandma read your blog? Mine does, passively. Bless her. Apparently I’m a pottymouth. One thing my family can agree on is the fact that I am fond of the phrase “holy shit.” Things could be worse, I suppose.
Somewhere between 1999 and 2000 I was introduced to the word “blog” and immediately loathed it. Blog. Disgusting-sounding word, that. Don’t even get me started on blogosphere. The day Myspace chose to relabel its “journal” tool a “blog” tool, I knew we were stuck with it for eternity. Doomed, man. You can’t fight it. I would love to offer some vintage myspace screenshots as proof (suggested by our fact-checking, quality assurance and legal departments), but alas Myspace ain’t having it.
I hereby propose the third week of June be decreed International Blogging Vacation Week. We don’t blog shit. I’m in if you’re in. Please alert all blogs, immediately, via your blog.
ON TO THE CONTEST
The person who sends me either (a) the most disgusted tirade about blogging, or (b) their own personal blog which has been neglected for the longest period of time receives a five cd package of my choosing. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. But you might be. Hell it’s free, what have you got to lose. Roll the dice and send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Maybe one of my relatives will post it for me while I’m on vacation. LET THE CONTEST BEGIN!
postscript: mailbox 6000 will continue to dish out concert tickets and accept craptastic cell phone photo submissions while all of the world’s bloggers are on vacation.