The Westside Rentals Hearse: A Line-By-Line Study
Of all the content on this website, few posts generate as many passionately eloquent arguments as the individual articles regarding Westside Rentals. Every renter in the city has formed a distinct opinion about the local rental behemoth and Losanjealous has, for better or worse, become the de facto dumping ground for said opinions. (“They’re useless!” “They’re the greatest!” “That last commenter was a plant from WSR!” “Stop calling me a plant because I am totally legit!” “Like hell you are!” And so forth.)
So be it, then. Today we look at one of the company’s nefarious advertising vessels: The Westside Rentals Hearse. Join us as we scrutinize the vehicle’s advertising messages, line-by-line, after the jump.
I. SIDE VIEW
Top to bottom, left to right
NOTE: Unless otherwise indicated, all fonts all-cap “scary drip” varietal
i. NEED A PLACE TO LIVE!
- Car is not posing a question
- Car is emphatic about finding place to live
ii. RENT AND LIVE
- Car may be subtly suggesting viewer can avoid death by renting
iv. AND LIVE
- And live. Again, car may be subtly suggesting viewer will die, unless viewer rents
DIE WHEN YOU CAN RENT WESTSIDE RENTALS WESTSIDERENTALS.COM
- Extraneous “Die-not” slash element creates confusing Ghostbuster effect
vi. OWN (323) 634-RENT
- Vertical grouping of text shows these two items to be tangentially and not necessarily directly related
- Car is not suggesting that you may own a phone number
vii. Visual: Man Rising From Coffin
- Outline of a man rising from a coffin drinking a glass of (presumed) mulled wine.
[Note: Said outline is strikingly similar to a character depicted in the Huckleberry Finn coloring book stashed in one of the drawers of the garden room at my grandmother’s house (read into this confession what you will)].
i. LIFE IS
ii. TOO SHORT
v. (323) 634-RENT
- Jarring font transition to arial on rear window surface reduces car’s overall “Munster Effect” considerably.
At this point as per tradition it is customary to commence loving/bashing Westside Rentals in our acclaimed comment section™, registration-free since inception, May 2005. You may begin.