DF Beats Heat & Previews LADD Bout (Fight Crew v. Sirens, 10/2/2010)
No, that title’s not a typo, as some waggish editorial types suggested. I didn’t mean to write “meat,” but “heat,” as in the one-hundred-twelve-million degree blistering scorchfest that has been plastering our poor city. But don’t worry, dear readers, DF has plenty of tips to help you stay cool despite what is almost certainly the onset of an Armageddon-like environmental holocaust.
First, when it’s hotter than a lump of coal in Satan’s jockstrap, wearing clothes is really kind of unnecessary, so do like DF and stay cool by stepping out in your skivvies. When I greet the broiling world in nothing but a smile and my leopard-print Speedo, size extra-snug, the gasps and retches from passers-by and co-workers, clearly agog at my full-figured sexiness, make it all worthwhile.
Second, be a good citizen! If you have an icemaker at home, don’t be selfish—go outside and share the frigid wealth by throwing any extra ice cubes at your fellow sweltering Angelenos. Those angry glares and shouted expletives are their way of saying, “Thanks for the cool-down, amigo!”
Third, what better way to stave off dehydration and heat prostration than the coolest thing in the world–an LA Derby Dolls bout! After all, when you watch two teams of hard-core skaters bash and crash on the banked track despite torrid temps, you’ll likely quit yer wussy complaining about the heat. And lucky for all your perspiring asses, the Fight Crew (0-2) and Sirens (1-2) will be duking it out at the Doll Fac this very weekend. The boutcome will be pivotal—a win for either side keeps them alive for the 2010 Championship, but the losing team will be eliminated from contention.
Get your tixes here and now while supplies last, and check this highly informative bout preview video for even more info about the storied FC/Sirens rivalry. Now DF must stop writing before these profusely sweating hands slip off the keyboard. Stay cool and see you all in Hi-Fi this Saturday, hot hot peeps!
Image (C) 2010 by LA Derby Dolls. All rights reserved.